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Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 7:49:17 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,691
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Everyone knows of a few bad "sex moves" that certain men and women tend to make who think are "stimulating", but which in fact really just annoy the hell out of you. Maybe they learned this technique through watching porn, maybe it was something their friends swear by, or perhaps it was just due to a previous sex partner who never bothered to point out the error of their ways. Who knows where they learned it? You're either the type to roll your eyes, grin and bear it, or if you're confident, maybe you'll ask them to stop.

I've heard women complain about the dreaded "jackhammer sex" move from guys, or women that during post-coital cuddling insist on absently drawing little circles around a man's nipples. Maybe it's the bad kisser with the stabby, unyielding tongue?

Name the "sex move" or "sex style" that you wish the opposite (or same) sex would just give up forever...

Perhaps we can all "enlighten" each other. geek

WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 8:05:16 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,487
Location: Cakeland, United States
Please quit chewing on the head of my cock.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
LusciousLola
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 8:56:22 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/5/2010
Posts: 2,910
WellMadeMale wrote:
Please quit chewing on the head of my cock.

Some guys like that.dontknow My ex used to love it, put him right over the edge.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 10:19:20 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,487
Location: Cakeland, United States
LusciousLola wrote:
WellMadeMale wrote:
Please quit chewing on the head of my cock.

Some guys like that.dontknow My ex used to love it, put him right over the edge.


Some girls like being hog-tied, blindfolded and hung by their nipples from a ceiling beam with a cue-ball gag in their mouth and half kilo weights suspended from their labia...before I read them my poetry.

I try to ask most women what their limits are before I commence. happy8

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
LadyX
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 10:53:46 PM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,804
Piledriver.

You aren't a porn star, and I'm not on painkillers as a precaution, so stick with one of the first 30 positions you learned, cowboy. There's plenty of adventure without making me feel like my neck's about to snap and your dick could rip me open if either of us loses balance.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 5:16:54 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,691
Location: Your dirty fantasy
One I've always hated is when a guy puts two fingers together and keeps them as straight and stiff as he can and proceeds to finger fuck me at warp speed, often screwing up the direction as he goes along. Negative bonus points if his fingernails aren't perfectly smooth.

I've often seen this move in porn films, so I've always assumed this is where guys learn it.

I can't stand it. Two ram-rod fingers vigorously stabbing me is NOT a good feeling. Trying to approximate the speed of a vibrator just makes it even worse.

MMonroe
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 6:12:20 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 1,893
Location: United Kingdom
Dancing_Doll wrote:
One I've always hated is when a guy puts two fingers together and keeps them as straight and stiff as he can and proceeds to finger fuck me at warp speed, often screwing up the direction as he goes along. Negative bonus points if his fingernails aren't perfectly smooth.

I've often seen this move in porn films, so I've always assumed this is where guys learn it.

I can't stand it. Two ram-rod fingers vigorously stabbing me is NOT a good feeling. Trying to approximate the speed of a vibrator just makes it even worse.



Yes, this!!!

I tried to teach my ex not to do this and stimulate the g-spot with his fingertips instead but he just did not get it! I hate porn for teaching men this.

Also the idea that about 2 minutes of oral is enough to get me off while i have to spend bloody ages on him.



*Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?*



mercianknight
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 6:25:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/11/2009
Posts: 2,027
Location: whispering conspiratorially in your ear, Bermuda
Whilst I could only wish that the missus would spend more than a couple of minutes swallowing the sausage, my actual pet peeve....and again I blame porno vids... is the wifes belief that rapidly & repeatedly pulling down on my shaft with her death grip whilst both wrenching at my knob end and smashing down on my balls is somehow stimulating. It's not. It's painful.

Attempts to 'teach' her to be more gentle usually lead to a barnstormer so I tend to avoid hand-jobs at home. help

"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 6:43:35 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,691
Location: Your dirty fantasy
Here's another one... the hickey enthusiast.

I actually thought I had left this practice behind in high school, but last year I hooked up with a guy that had a bit of a hoover-mouth and left a rather unfortunate blotch on my neck.
I had to wear a scarf or a high necked sweater for a whole week! cussing

Unless you're still a teenager, or trying out to be a vampire extra in the next Twilight Saga movie, there is no excuse for leaving any marks.

MrNudiePants
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 7:46:48 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 2,224
Location: United States
It's a penis, not a snake. It's not going to escape and bite your ass. Loosen up the death grip a touch. Gently caress it, stroking it in a rhythmic up and down manner. Let me tell you when to grip it harder, don't make me keep a crowbar on standby to pry your hands off so the blood can continue to flow. And oh, yeah - the teeth have no business ever touching it. Ever.
sassycheergirl
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 12:56:47 PM

Rank: Lollipop Girl

Joined: 11/7/2009
Posts: 1,508
Location: a corn field , United States
I had an ex that would scratch my back when doing doggy style...and then would say that he thought I had an itch and that was why...*rolls eyes*

Same guy would also sniff my hair while we had sex and then say God I would love to have sex with your hair...kinda weird...


*smiles, hugs, and lollipops*



Sassy
LusciousLola
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 4:41:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/5/2010
Posts: 2,910
Kissing someone that seems to have no control, or idea how much saliva they are sharing with you.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 5:44:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,952
Licking it like a lolly is not oral sex, try to envision that milk shake as you draw up on the straw. You don't bite the straw, you smoothly and with increasing pressure draw up from the straw. No, I will not get into further analogize, you're welcome.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 9:57:14 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,487
Location: Cakeland, United States
Would you kindly tell me prior to us having sexual intercourse for the first time on my fairly new $1200 mattress, or on the seats of my sports car...that when you get really excited, you may be prone to squirt?

A simple, "I'm a gusher", would suffice.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 3:18:16 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,952
Babbling.

I'm trying to enjoy myself here, and concentrate. Despite what you read in Cosmo, "sexy talk" doesn't mean 10 minutes of reciting what a second female would be doing to me right now.

How about you go back to the tried-and-true method of moaning, with an occasional, infrequent dirty word thrown in now and then?

Thank you. 3601
Pixie
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 3:29:39 PM

Rank: Flutterby Pharie

Joined: 9/27/2007
Posts: 5,980
Location: Never, Never Land, United States
Don't just stick your tongue in my mouth and leave it there! I was with a guy one time that thought he was a good kisser by doing this. Good kissing requires a bit of tongue movement. The more the better!

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
DamonX
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 11:01:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/25/2009
Posts: 798
Quote:
I'm trying to enjoy myself here, and concentrate. Despite what you read in Cosmo, "sexy talk" doesn't mean 10 minutes of reciting what a second female would be doing to me right now.


That acually sounds pretty awesome to me....confused5
pb69
Posted: Monday, October 04, 2010 3:47:56 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 8/4/2010
Posts: 68
Location: United States
Just because we're married doesn't mean oral sex is unnecessary. If you don't like what I'm doing with my mouth down there, then perhaps you can help me understand how to improve things.

Wait, did I actually post this on an internet board? d'oh!
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