A friend of mine was texting a boy for a while, and finally arranged to go out for dinner. Once on the meal they got talking about random stuff and one topic lead to another. Then the topic of past relationships came up and whatever happend they started talking about children.
Now my friend has a baby that is nearly a year old, and once the fella heard of this he started to get cold. They finished dinner and headed home. He left her to the door and kissed her and told her he would txt her when he got home.
My friend thought she had blew it, and of course he never text her when he got home and she never heard from him again.
She was annoyed and has now left her thinkn that no man will want her because she has, in her words, ''baggage''.
So my question to you men out there....if this was you in this fella's shoes, would you do a runner or not?
I always try to nail a few things down before I make a date with someone.
"Do you have children?"
"Do you want to have children?"
"Do you like children and do they like you?"
These are kind of important things to be aware of. There are other topics I would like to know a bit about too, prior to meeting someone I've only just been texting, emailing or talking to on the phone about everything but the important things in our lives.
Otherwise, it's just a blind date and even then...I have been known to turn tail and walk away upon the initial meeting with someone. I've also seen women look me up and down and decide that my photos, which may have provoked some curiosity with them originally, either confirmed to them that I was not to their liking or that I had deceived them somehow, so they bolted with no explanation provided. (I'm guessing as to why they bolted, since no conversation occurred at the time nor afterwards).
No harm no foul.
Communications is the key; some people are adept at this, some are not and some are deceptive intentionally.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
i would have text i wouldnt have let the fact she has a young child put me off
I would have continued to see her, I like her for her, hell we all come with "baggage". This one will just talk back to ya .
I've said all f this to her, but it makes no difference. She very insecure and this didn't help her.
Rat
Firstly; I don't do blind dates as I like to know a little about the person I am going to spend an evening/afternoon with ...and this ("baggage") would have been known to me prior to a "date". And either way would have made no difference. We all have some sort of baggage - be it past relationships/marriages/children ...etc - I am not judge and juror and if she is a pleasant person, one that I can relate to ...children or no children - I would have at least stayed for a cup of coffee ...maybe more ...and kept in touch.
I agree with buc. we all have baggage . hell I have 2 boys at home with me. I'm single ,Does that make me out of service also
I don't see the point of why he should not text here anymore. As long as she is not attached to anyone, she should have every right to a relationship. A child should not be the reason why anyone could consider her as baggage.
Stayed. Your interested in the person, any baggage is inconsequental really.
Have to hang around to see what happens if I felt we had a connection...
It's best he left sooner than later- perfect in fact- Tell her she deserves and will get love in her life : )
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
would have stayed
however, if he can't deal with the fact that she has a kid, then she's better finding out straight away, than him spending the night, then never seeing her again!
It wouldn't bother me any, but I do know that some guys who would run away in fear. Unfortunately, that's the reality of our world.
I did try dating someone with a kid a while back. I knew she had a kid when I met her and it didn't matter to me. It turned out that we weren't really right for each other, but we've remained friends though.
Let your friend know that that particular guy is a douchebag. Don't let her assume that all guys are.
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"Will someone make that guy sit down, my kids can't see the movie?!?" - Some guy in at the theater.
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I have no problem dating a woman with children. My fiancé who passed away had three of her own. She always said I would make a great father cause of the way I treated her children. We were going to have one of our own cause of the way she thought about me. So I take it as a complement. I think it also has to do with if you are ready to settle down or not. If you aren't ready then a woman with a child isn't for you. If you are ready to settle down and have a family then it won't bother you.
I guess I'm the only asshole in a sea of gentlmen... Or maybe the only one who's bullshit meter isn't in the red.
Some guys just aren't ready for kids of their own forget about someone else's child. Yeah it's a bit fucked up to just cut off contact but does your friend really need to hear the guy say "Sorry girl, I really like you a lot it's just that you have a baby and I can't hang." Probably better he cuts her off right away instead of getting in her pants for a month then moving on after blaming the kid... Now thats fucked up.
I also think that women with children aren't the best candidates for blind dates. No matter how cool the guy is, telling him you have a baby is going to hit him like a sledge hammer even if the guy has kids of his own. It's still a biggie. Expect the date to be awkward after that. Now if the person setting up the date let's the guy know the girl has a kid beforehand and he agrees to go on the date then it's a whole different story.
You don't sound like an asshole at all, felix. I had a problem with the way that guy did it, not that the guy didn't want kids involved.
The reviews are in. Here's what people are saying about FicklePickleTickle:
"BestCukeOnTheVine" - LusciousLola.
"Pickle juice rocks!" - curiousbutterfly.
"Pickles is really a jalapeño" - sw33tang3l
"Will someone make that guy sit down, my kids can't see the movie?!?" - Some guy in at the theater.
"Shouldn't he be wearing clothes if he's going to be in the wedding?" - Your mom.
"If FTP Eats A Pickle, Is That Cannibalism? " Nikki703
"FTP makes me wet. . ." - imhapless.
"Always thought he was dill but he's actually a sweet pickle." - kinkygirl.
When you look at her kid it reminds you of the father and thats a turn off.
If the guy had a kid. I would run like hell.
Hey Rita, if i got on well with a lady, the "baggage" surely becomes part of their life, something to be embraced, especially if its kids. Undoubtedly, there are people for whom kids are a no, no. They are obviously just not matue enought to cope with the situation and it kinda signals their intent, a quick shag or whatever. If this is ok with the lady, cool, no one gets hurt. If your friend was upset by the guys actions, then maybe she should be saying to herself that he wasn't worthgy of her. Would I run, not if i liked the lady I wouldn't
Ok he was a jerk!
But how could a woman get to the point of dating a guy without mentioning the child?
Talk about insecurity, that sounds like insecurity to me in big CAPTIAL LETTERS.
If a guy is not into children or especially not someone elses child. Then the sooner that line is defined the better for all parties.
It is alittle tough to know what someone will say about having kids. Makes it hard to want to even go out on a date because your afraid to be judged by that fact. Usuall hon, when that happens they really just wanted a piece. Sorry guys, I know that not all of you are like that. I didnt date til my girls were older, and then I didnt much and I didnt bring anybody home if I did.
There is a contridiction: girls are suppose to be experienced without doing it!
I would just let it go. If you didnt get past the first date or second.....I cant see that there was much of an attachment to begin with.
I am sorry though, and I feel your disappointment, really.
My life has changed, and now I have my eldest daughter (19) and my little grandson at home with me,,,
I have taken myself out of the dating thing.
MistyGray
