I can't tell from the story if this is an example of the entire relationship. Or, is this the one thing that is annoying in the relationship? My answer is different for each situation. Simplistically, if it is the former, don't go back, in fact, pack and move on. If it is the latter, stick around and discover what the attraction is. Is it the fact that the relationship is forbidden? Perhaps, you should spend the time to become friends with the other women. There is an old saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. In doing this, you can better judge what is really going on. When you know what is going on, you can decide to stay or go.
Thanks Shibui -I'm sure he loves me best second to himself. He lost his brother recently and is now unemployed and is rightfully feeling very very down. You have a good point about keeping a enemy close and she surely is. I've been in the food and beverage service for a long time and know her type. Instead of addressing the lady at the table with respect and knowing her boundaries, she goes out of her way to disrespect and doesn't even know me. I don't think he sees it and I cannot explain it to him. It is between her and I I believe.
I ask a question. Is it me that draws this attention and maybe if he goes without me, she may not pay him any mind after the initial feeling of victory? I maybe wrong. Leaving him alone goes against what I believe but I'm tired of it and angry that he's so selfish. But then again, maybe he needs to be right now just to get through the days?
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
So, you're saying she is a "collector". You just don't know what she collects at the moment. It may be as simple as he pays, and she knows where her tip is coming from. It may be she collects the entire package. If you start paying we can eliminate or verify the first possibility. For the other extreme, I'm afraid I can't answer. I do not know this type of woman, if I did, I would be very nervous with her around my significant other. I would not go to that place with the S.O. I would be tempted to go alone and see where it went. This would be an ego thing on my part.
You say you have observed this type in the wild, so to speak, so you, probably, have a better idea of her collection habits than I. All I can see is you need to change the dynamic in your relationship with her, paying the bill is a start. Buy her a drink? Give her some clothing as a gift? Show her your Smith and Wesson? Something to get her attention. I know this may not work, but I like the idea of the olive branch before going to the switch.
Best of luck with this situation.........
: ) words of wisdom -thanks
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Was talking to myself and it turned into a poem -Just a Little Shit : )
You're crazy if you think I'm going into that bar again tonight
You keep it up and the night will end in a fight
Week after week I sit and watch you play with that girl that smirks
Trip after trip to our table I watch you two flirt
That knowing smile she gives you was mine for you before..
You opened that God Damn door
Not gonna be ticked anymore
You go solo down to that store
Let's see if she's still buying when you're available
Are you for sale or like me unsaleable
I may know the answer to that question
Never thought it would have to be mentioned
What about we leave it alone forever
It may save us from a sever
Safe from shit and content in my bed
A knock on wood or maybe my head
Time will tell
What the Hell
Right
You're crazy if you think I'm going into that bar again tonight..
Well, a couple of Fridays have rolled around since. This week my response to his invite to dinner was,
"You go. I'll pass."
It was easy. Told him that if I have to look at her stupid smirk one more time, somebody is in big trouble. And the way my temper flows, there could be blood. Temper temper. The funny thing is he said,
"What smirk? I've not touched anybody in that bar. What you talking about?"
Made me laugh because I knew he wanted me to elaborate and tell him about what he claims he somehow missed which I most assuredly said was impossible.
He said, "I can't believe you gonna let that bitch bother you. Everybody knows she's a bitch."
Funny that men love bitches.
He then gave the place up without a fight and I love him.
While we out eating dinner someplace else, he compared the dinner and I knew the fish was better at the brunette's place.
"I don't expect you to never set foot in the local bar. It's just me. She's not getting anymore or my money or time. Besides, you have to take mom in there for the frog legs she loves."
"No. Mom is with you. She told me the other day, that she didn't want to go in there anymore."
: )
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
