Ok guys and gals, new to the forum, and first post, so if I do anything wrong, please, give me a heads up and don't flame me.
First off, I enjoy going down on a woman. I could stay down there all day, knowing that she is enjoying me using my tongue to explore her. Don't ask me why, but there is just something about it. I don't understand why more guys don't like to, but I digress...
I am seeing this girl, and we've had sex quite a few times. She has let me go down on her I believe 3 times, and I am more then positive that she enjoyed it (from the audio and physical cues). But for the most part, she normally doesn't let me go down on her, or rather, tries to stop me, so I of course stop. I compliment her on her body when we are in bed, tell her how gorgeous she is, and even say how I like going down on her. I don't know what I am doing wrong! Any and all advice is welcome. (Another side note, she is always clean shaven, so that has to mean something right? It's practically an invite!)
Well, I wouldn't call her my girlfriend, per se, more along the lines of getting to know one another one. She has let me go down on her before, and I'm positive she enjoyed it. But for the most part, she seems to feel uncomfortable letting me go down.
And I figure this would be something a girl could relate to, so I posted it here. Advice from a girl or guy is welcome (hence the greeting to guys and gals in my first post), so if you have any input, feel free to share!
I can only speak from personal experience and thoughts. So what I have to say should probably be taken with a grain of salt. Who knows though, I may strike gold.
Do you know if she's had some kind of trama to that area in the past? I have, it made me take 15 years off from oral sex for emotional recovery. I have a man who loves to give. I have trusted him to break down those walls with me. I've let him go there on occasion when I'm in the right head space, but if I know that I've had an off day and my emotions may be on edge, I will find ways to avoid letting him go down on me. For me it's all about baby steps. I've had a great time when I have allowed him, but I'm not always up to it.
I'm curious how long she's been giving you a red light. If it's only been on a short term, recent basis, perhaps she is going through a bacterial imbalance. Because you two aren't a couple, she feels it would be a mood killer or inappropreate to mention as her reason. She may just be taking the proper steps to clear things up which takes time and will be ready to give it a go when she feels more secure about her smell and taste.
Lastly, I feel I should say this because well, most won't. You may be into giving, but maybe you aren't giving it the way she likes it. I know you said she gave you all the right cues but well lets face it...Girls know how to fake it. There are a million reasons why we choose to fake it from time to time. And perhaps she's just chosen not to fake it anymore. She may enjoy you in all sorts of other ways so she doesn't want to hurt your ego, so those few times she allowed you to, she was faking it because she actually wants to keep you around and figures you two can work on that item later or continue to avoid it.
So yeah, that's what I've got off the top of my head. Though I suggest just asking her. How are you two to have a good sexual relationship if you can't even talk about it? Good luck.
Perhaps its the time you are going down on her. Too soon and it just doesn't do it, too late and she might just be to sensitive as you have made her so hot.
Only giving you the benefit of my experience, but i hope it helps. Try talking to her, get her hot and horny so she is begging to be touched and then bring it up, she will talk about anything to get what sdhe needs!
Does she go down on you? Perhaps she has a cleanliness phobia and feels its just to 'dirty' try offering in the shower?
(and if she still doesn't let you head my way, i'll let you give all day!!)
maybe its not her thing...maybe she likes kissing a lot and pussy isnt her fav flavor. i for one can leave it...would much prefer oral to go the other way ;)
This is usually the symptom of a girl who's a bit self conscious, I had problems with it when I first started having sex (though thankfully, have overcome that), you may have found that the times she allowed you to do it she was having a day or evening or hour where she felt especially good about herself. If that is the case then you just have to continue making her feel good about herself and it'll come eventually (no pun intended).
It could of course be anything mentioned above.. if you're on good enough terms with her then perhaps you should just ask her why she doesn't want you doing it?
Both RockStar and LittleBambi have given great advice. It may also be a good idea to get to know her a bit better before you gently broach the subject and see if she will talk about it. Saying how much you enjoy giving her pleasure orally may be good way to start. It sounds like you're doing all the right things with the sincere compliments and reassurance, so just keep that going and she will gradually lose her shyness and inhibition. Good luck!
Wow, quite a bit of replies.
Rockstar - Thank you for sharing about your personal experience, I'm sure it isn't easy to do. It does seem that she has to be in the right mind set or maybe even have some alcohol for her to feel comfortable. We have just recently started to to get to know one another, I would say about 1 or 2 months. And don't worry, I'm not offended at all with the possibility that she just doesn't like that from me. I'll probably get around to talking to her about it, just not sure how to approach it (always the hardest part lol).
Shadowcat - Timing could be an issue, I could try teasing her a bit more. As for cleanliness, she does shower quite often... never really thought about it before. You may be onto something. And thank you for the offer haha.
LittleMiss - One time when she did let me go down on her, it was pretty much all over my mouth. She kissed me after, and actually said she kind of enjoyed tasting it (kind of being the key word, or she could be lying lol). But I prefer oral to be a two way street, everyone has fun =).
Littlebambi - That thought has crossed my mind too, b/c I could see how that could make a person squeamish with someone you are just getting to know. (But not necessarily our first times here though.) I don't want to ask too soon, b/c I don't want to freak her out. But with due time.
Curvygalore - I'll definitely give it a little time, thanks for the support!
Steve - Hope your situation is good/get's good. We just gotta work at it, right?
Kayte - Haha thanks for that. It's always great to hear those words "don't stop", great moral booster.
Thanks for all the input everyone! Not going to talk to her just yet about it, but when I do, I'll see if I can give an update. If anyone else has anything else to say, don't be afraid to say it!
i have this problem, and i find its cus i get embarressed at my mans head down on my pussy something cringy bout it
Everything happens for a reason. Live for the moment and have no regrets.
I don't get onto this site too often, but this thread is about due for an update right?
So I had a talk with my lady friend a little while back because we were getting decently comfortable with one another. To my surprise, it really was because of a cleanliness issue! She was mainly worried that she wasn't clean enough for me all the time to go about my business down there. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful she was a little worried about being clean (more so then some girls may or may not be lol). But yeah, so I talked it over with her. Made sure to let her know I love to pleasure her, and that I do it because I enjoy it too, not like it's a duty or something. She is a lot more relaxed when I go down on her now, and seems to enjoy it much more knowing that I do it because I care too. Sometimes I'll see if she wants to hop into a shower together, just in case she still feels the need to. She is a very clean girl, so with or without the shower, she tastes great! Needless to say though, she let's me stay down there for days now =).
WHR43 - I love it when a girl uses her hands behind my head! Let's me know I am doing a good job and that she is enjoying it! Show me enthusiasm, and I'll return it double!
Anonymous - I'm sorry to hear you have that problem. Take it from me though, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I can't speak for every guy, but if your guys head is down there, it is because we want to be! Try to sit back and relax, let us get to business, and enjoy the ride.
Thanks everyone for the outlet! At that time I just needed some way to let things out, and posting this thread did just that.
Congrats. You get to skip to the main event.
Don't tell me she also cooks food that is too good too.
She's frustrated (frightened) about her preferences, because she doesn't want to be pregnant if you arouse her and then enter her. So, keep on sucking her nipples and finger her. That's the most effective way to prepare her for cunnilingus
My wife was like this. She is a bit of a heavy set woman, but still would let me from time to time. Was years between me doing it at times. But now, if we have a night in a hotel, or watch some porn at home, its almost a given that Im going to get to do that. I have no answers to this specific situation, but girls are hard to understand sometimes, but we still love them. You just have to roll with the punches and not take it personally..
I was in a relationship once with a woman who was very self-concious about it. I love the taste, and finally, one day broached the subject while we were just sitting around talking. SHe told me it was a hangover from her strict Catholic church and parochial school upbringing. They drilled it into her that it was dirty, and no matter how much she tried to let go of that, it was the first thought that popped into her head, everytime I started to kiss her anywhere below her navel or above her knees. Of course, thoughts like that spoiled the moment for her, every time. The only time she ever let me perform cunnilingus was after she had consumed several alchololic drinks, and lowered her inhibitions.
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
hOHeh heh heh.
