I met this guy online. He seems nice I suppose. He says he wants a long term girlfriend, but I'm really not sure I buy it.... ALL he wants to do is sexy text/ have sex (We haven't slept together yet).
I told him that I want more in a relationship than just sex and that I don't think we should do anything on the first few dates. I told him I want to get to know him more, and I want him to get to know me. I told him I don't mind the sexy texting but we need to talk about thing OTHER than that sometimes... But he seems incapable of having a normal conversation... Like, unless we sexy text, all I get from him are one word replies, no reply at all, or I tell him to ask me some questions about my self and all I get back is "Tell me about yourself".
Is there any hope for this guy or should I just end it now?
He hasn't had a woman in a few years, so I can understand the sex thing, but right in the middle of some hot texting, he'll just stop, and I wont hear from him until he wants to talk dirty again. Like WTF man, you either want it, or you don't. Oh, and before replying to the text I send him eight hours earlier, he'll go onto the dating site and check his mail....
You are being played, and it probably would be in your best interest to end it now. Please read what you wrote above for the answers to your questions. This guy is making no effort to get to know you or be in a real relationship with you. I'm assuming things are not going to get any better.
I think you should just cut it now before you get hurt.
ahhh, the "he's just not that in to you" problem.
Life is too short. If a guy isn't wanting what you want, or put better, if he isn't give you what you want and need, move on .... if you waste time (ok, benefit of the doubt, MAYBE he has potential) you could be missing Mr Right walking right in front of you, and you could trip him!
Any guy that is "dating" you (in whatever capacity - let's not split hairs) .... and still has online dating accounts .... is just going to be using you for whatever you'll give him.
I say .... girlfriend .... you DESERVE better!! That better man is out there!!
Good luck, hunnie!
xo
Maybe he is just retarded...
As a guy I feel quite well informed on this subject.....................He is a man, as long as he is thinking with his big head he is probably reasonably OK. As soon as he starts thinking with the little head, he is totally and completely stupid/retarded, and expecting anything more from him is totally and completely unreasonable!
I'm pretty sure he's not retarded (Although from the way he's acting there is a slight possibility -.-)
And I try to see the good in people... so I'll probably give him until Saturday (when we plan on meeting)
if he's still trying screw me without even making an attempt at getting to know me, then he's done.
Please, actions speak louder than words. I mean how many movies have been made about the situation you described? To borrow a cliche 'why buy the cow when the milk is free?'
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."
Why are you meeting someone you know next to nothing about and who knows net to nothing about you? If you are going to meet someone online you should be much more careful. Dude could be an axe murderer, a , a dirty old man who wants to lock you in his basement or rob your family blind. You have no idea what he really wants. If all you know he wants is to fuck you and you haven't been able to get much out of him about himself you definitely shouldn't be making plans to meet him. What you are doing is seriously dangerous. I hope you realize that the little he has told you could be total BS just to lure you out.
I'm not going anywhere private with him o.o
I find it just the same as meeting someone at the bar... you know nothing about them either.
Thats why you go out on dates. And like I said, if he wont give up any info about himself by
Saturday, I'm not going!
Oh I'm sorry MonAmour, I have to say that it does sound as if you are being played.
I thought that when one first started 'dating' someone (in whatever manner that might be - IRL or virtually) that they tended to be on their very best behaviour to begin with. You know, when they are SO into you that they will bend over backwards to please/impress/seduce/make you happy.
This certainly doesn't seem to be the case with this guy - he doesn't sound like he's trying at all at this point. Experience would dictate that things probably are not going to improve. Especially if you do meet him and actually agree to sleep with him - he just won't have to try at all after that and you'll be left in agony, wondering what you did wrong or indeed what you could do to make it better again.
Essentially you're going to put yourself through torture because you can see that somewhere, deep down, this guy has potential. Because you are a nice person, people like this will be attracted to you from time to time (believe me, I know, I have been there).
I'd say that you could do much, much better than this guy, he is taking advantage of your good nature.
Now, set him free and let someone decent come into your life and treat you in all the ways you really want to be treated...
I think that everyone has given you good advice MonAmour, it is up to you what you do with it.
I am male and have been around for a day or two on this earth. I have seen what you are describing many times. The results of a meeting will in all likely hood be a waste of your time, if you are looking for something more than a one night romp.
You are young, and if you were my daughter. I would ask you what is your head saying to you, when you chat and you see the answers the non - answers?
Do you feel loved and cherished? Think with your head, hon. Feel with your heart.
There is someone out there who is right for you, have patients, be choosy, don't just settle.
Good luck; I know you will find someone, who will love and cherish you.
Everyone of us deserve to have someone in our lives that will.
I think everybody said what should be said.
If you really want a serious relationship, just break up with him. It seems his purpose is just to fill his needs, his sexual needs. Probably he cares of your between legs more than your heart. Probably he cares of what he wants more than what you want. Some words come from heart, some of them come from brain, and some of words come from between legs. His words come from between his legs.
if you say yes for this relationship, it will end on your bed. There will be only one common place between you and him, it is your bed. I mean, there will be only sex between you and him, but a good relationship needs more than that. In fact, sex is just a small part of it. It should come later. Try to make an appoinment for meeting of your hearts, before meeting of your bodies. If your hearts can't meet at a common place, don't let to meet your bodies. a relationship without heart never brings you love. and a relationship without love never makes you happy.
as the sun is the center of solar system, heart should be the center of a relationship, not body.
Do you really want to spend your time wondering what he's all about and if he's really that into you? ... surely there are better people out there that you will feel comfortable with from the onset and not be left hanging around feeling "used" - Follow your gut ...it's seldom that far off the mark!
I dumped him X-D
He was a perverted bastard anyways.
your so being played he clearly doesnt care about U
If he isn't willing to have a real conversation with you then he has no interest in a real relationship. If all he is interested in is sexual intimacy then he is not wanting a real relationship. I for one, when I want a relationship am almost more interested in getting to know her as a person, because at some point the sex will slow down and I will be spending time with her as a person, not as a sexual being. Take the advice other people have given you. Get out of it
