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Losing my virginity Options · View
cassafras
Posted: Monday, October 31, 2011 7:40:35 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 10/30/2011
Posts: 4
Okay, so I'm eighteen years old, single, and still a virgin. I'm definitely ready to lose my virginity. Well, I'm not sure if I should wait for the "right person", like someone I'm dating or not... but I've been single for two years now (I live in a small town lol). Anyway, I've been in love with the same guy for about two years (we never dated because of distance). He goes to the same college that I plan to go to. The feelings between us are not mutual anymore. We're still good friends. But I do love him, and I want to lose my virginity to him more than anything. I fantasize about him almost every time I masturbate. But I don't want to ruin our friendship, and I don't want anything to be awkward. What do you think I should do?
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 31, 2011 7:59:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,685

don't be in a rush.

you have lots of time to find the right time, place and person (if he's the one). You are only 18 ~ not 29!

there will be lots of time to explore and enjoy and grow with desires, lust and passion.

don't feel that being a virgin is a bad thing, or a burden. It is not a title to wear, it is just a SMALL label to describe you (if you want it) and who you are at this stage. Once it's gone .... it's gone.


Guest
Posted: Monday, October 31, 2011 10:17:08 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,685
It's my belief that far to much weight is placed on virginity and losing it. Everyone has an opinion. The fact is, nothing really fundamentally changes about who you are the next day. The person you have your first time with will not be your last and years down the road, you will give very little thought to your first time. If you're ready for sex, take all the necessary precautions, take a deep breath and go for it. Enjoy it, and be light hearted and ready to laugh about it. Admittedly, it's a bigger step for a woman, she's taking another person into her body and there may be pain involved, but like I say, time fades it all to a memory and your life will be no better or worse based on who you lost your virginity to or how or where you did it.

Be smart, be safe, be ready, be sure, be willing, and spread those beautiful legs and make some lucky guy very happy. Those are my thoughts.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 02, 2011 11:20:21 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,685
zzthex79 wrote:
It's my belief that far to much weight is placed on virginity and losing it. Everyone has an opinion. The fact is, nothing really fundamentally changes about who you are the next day. The person you have your first time with will not be your last and years down the road, you will give very little thought to your first time. If you're ready for sex, take all the necessary precautions, take a deep breath and go for it. Enjoy it, and be light hearted and ready to laugh about it. Admittedly, it's a bigger step for a woman, she's taking another person into her body and there may be pain involved, but like I say, time fades it all to a memory and your life will be no better or worse based on who you lost your virginity to or how or where you did it.

Be smart, be safe, be ready, be sure, be willing, and spread those beautiful legs and make some lucky guy very happy. Those are my thoughts.


oh i disagree here. why not have it be the last guy you sleep with? and i for one had a really great experience that i do remember fondly and have given thought to. and for some it can fundamentally change you...its a big responsibility to take on.

my thought are it should be more than spreading beautiful legs and taking a deep breath shutting ur eyes and saying "ok just do it!". it should be about more than making some guy happy...it should be more than light hearted. it should be taken seriously, IMO, so my advice is to take a deep breath and decide for yourself what your first time means for you and what you want it to be. given randomly or will you make a memory that can make you smile when you are 41 like me..
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 02, 2011 1:45:28 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,685
when you lose your virginity, you also lose the virginity of your soul. you shouldn't wait only for right person, but also you should wait for right heart. be sure you are giving your heart (and your body) in right hands. You say you think of him as you masturbate. is it only your body that feels him or your heart feels him too?

open the door of your heart to him at first, not your legs :-)
sbp
Posted: Wednesday, November 02, 2011 2:07:06 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/17/2011
Posts: 28
LittleMissBitch wrote:


oh i disagree here. why not have it be the last guy you sleep with? and i for one had a really great experience that i do remember fondly and have given thought to. and for some it can fundamentally change you...its a big responsibility to take on.

my thought are it should be more than spreading beautiful legs and taking a deep breath shutting ur eyes and saying "ok just do it!". it should be about more than making some guy happy...it should be more than light hearted. it should be taken seriously, IMO, so my advice is to take a deep breath and decide for yourself what your first time means for you and what you want it to be. given randomly or will you make a memory that can make you smile when you are 41 like me..


Couldn't agree more - he MAY not be forever but if you go into it KNOWING he's not then why bother? Remember that sex is different from 'doing it'. You want to give him your mind as well as your body and importantly, trust that he's doing that too.
Trust is a massively important part in letting go IMHO.
SensualDesires83
Posted: Thursday, November 03, 2011 4:36:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2009
Posts: 373
Location: Southeast, United States, United States
While virginity means a lot to some people, some others could care less about it. I am a guy and I never rushed into losing mine. I honestly did wait for the right woman, and it was the best thing I ever did. While I am no longer with her, we were both in love with each other and it was very very intimate and very very memorable. To the one that said, ". . .down the road, you will give very little thought to your first time. . .," this is not the truth. I truly, to this day, remember losing my virginity to someone special and actually cherish doing so since we were in love then.

To really answer your question though, you don't want to make a mistake that you will regret. While you say that you really want to lose your virginity to him, he may not feel the same way. In fact, by what you have written asking us, I am almost positive he does not feel the same as you. As he may have feelings for you, I am sure he does not have the "sex" feeling as you do.

You may both still be good friends, but are you good enough friends to chance an intimate act as this?

You don't want to rush into this, and while you may think you are ready to lose your virginity, that may just be your feelings and, forgive me for saying this, hormones, talking, instead of you actually listening and truly doing what is in your heart.

There is nothing wrong with waiting or being single. I am single right now and have been for a while and I don't let it get to me. Just keep the good thing you have at the moment and don't chance ruining a friendship like you say you have. Having a good friendship is sometimes better than having the best sex of your life.

"So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind."

--Evanescence
HK4167
Posted: Tuesday, November 15, 2011 6:31:31 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 3,307
Location: Seattle, United States
Wait for the right guy, or at least until you figure out his feeling for you.

1. You're still very young, just 18. And from your picture, you're a very attractive girl. In college, guys will line up to have a date with you, so don't rush. You will have lots of choice when you get into college.

2. Instead of 'losing virginity', I'd perfer term 'change from little girl to woman'. That's something very beautiful when you do it right with the right person, and the memory will stay with you for your life.

3. It's hard to keep friendship after sex, not matter how cool it said before. Things will get emotional and somethings ugly. Been there, done that, lost friendship because of it.

4. Again, lots of new choice in the college. Friends, guys, boyfriends...why not wait a few month until you get into the college? You might meet the right guy there who you could trust and love, and who will cherish you, not only as a friend.

Welcome to visit my tumblr page at http://HK4167.tumblr.com for erotic arts. Or http://slice-of-moment.tumblr.com for non-erotic arts.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, November 15, 2011 8:19:31 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,685
Don't rush into at all, I would wait. I was in love with the guy I lost it to, and he was in love with me. He was my best friend and guess what, it's a year and 10 days after I lost my virginity and I wish I still had it. That guy and I rarely talk anymore and I haven't seen him since that night. He doesn't come to see me anymore.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, November 16, 2011 2:05:44 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,685
Just make sure the guy understands it's your first time and that you need to be treated gently and he should take control for as long as you feel comfortable and then once you are away, off you go.

Just don't rush with a guy who will fuck without feeling then leave. You will regret that I feel.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, November 26, 2011 8:17:52 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,685
Don't rush it. I lost mine with my current bf (We split and got back) and I regret it. I would have waited and lost it to someone really worth while if I could turn back the clock.
Archadia
Posted: Saturday, November 26, 2011 8:42:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 426
Location: Middlesbrough, United Kingdom
For some reason, i always think a womans virginty is more precious than a mans, i have absolutely no idea why i think that, maybe its just because many men focused on "conquests" more than woman are. Its unusual for me to say things like that actually, as i always try and not tar everybody with same brush and not do double standards, but fact is you rarely see women going around bragging about how many people they have shagged, as opposed to some men, who do it alot. It seems to me on average, women have greater self respect than men when it comes to sex, and therefore their viginity means more to them, thus they hold onto it longer. This is purely my take on the stereotype though, there are plenty of guys out there who value their viginity just as much.

I couldnt wait to get rid of my virginity, but the reason was manly because of peer pressure, as most of my mates had already lost theirs before me, so i felt that i had to follow suit. So yeah, i first had sex at aged either 16 or 17 (cant remember exactly) in a backstreet, with a girl I didnt find particularly attractive. I Regretted it ever since, wish i had held onto it for somebody worthwhile, the only positives i could take away was a small amount of experience i guess, but other than that, wasnt worth it.

But then on the flip side, i sometimes think people take virginity too seriously. In my own opinion, virginity only matters at the time, looking back now, it doesnt make much difference, as ive obviously been with more girls since then, what does it matter if they are the 1st or the 15th, its only sex right? How many people can hold their hands up and say they are still with that same person? Ok some can im sure, but most cant....

So in an ideal world, yeah save your virginity for somebody who is worth it, but if you dont, i wouldnt beat yourself up about it, in the long run i think its neither here nor there.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, November 26, 2011 9:06:20 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 688,685
You should really wait for the right guy.
I lost my virginity to my husband on our honeymoon.
Losing your virginity is a very special moment,don't let just any guy take it.
Devon83
Posted: Friday, March 16, 2012 2:48:41 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/24/2011
Posts: 72
Location: Gibraltar
whoever he is and whenever you do it, make sure the guy has some experience, otherwise you will enjoy it less...
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