If you dont ask her out, soon someone else well and you'll spend forever wondering what would have happened if you had just told her.
Completely agree with clum and MMonroe. As long as you ask her out in a casual way with confidence and don't go all gooey and weird on her then you'll be fine!
If you tell her, you have to be willing to accept "no" for an answer and be willing to let the situation go and not continue to fixate on her if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to.
If you're uncertain if you're able to do this, or if you sense that if she rejects you that it'll be impossible for you to just act like her friend when you see her with another guy, then yeah... you risk blowing up the friendship.
Most people will say "just tell her" but to be honest... of the three male friends that confessed their feelings for me over the years, the friendship pretty much trainwrecked or blew up within the months following. The reasons for this involved various factors: either they kept trying to win me over, there was major awkwardness, the main intention of the 'so-called' friendship was to get with me, or they were just unable to handle seeing me with another guy.
You should be able to get a decent 'vibe' from this girl as to whether or not she's into you at all. It's one thing to ask if you genuinely don't know, but if you have a strong suspicion that she has no desire for you, then I would actually question telling her all this just for the sake of sharing... especially if you think it might ruin things and the friendship has value to you.
I think Doll makes some excellent points. Once you cross that line there is no going back. She will know you have desires for her and if she doesn't share them she will probably feel uncomfortable and shy away from you.
I'd think hard on this. Do you think you love her or has she merly become your sexual fantasy? Nothing wrong with that. Guys, especially young guys do that with almost every woman they meet, but be aware how she might feel when she realizes that you basically just had a need to get into her pants. Don't do this unless you are sure you want a dedicated long term sexual and emotional relationship with her. The friends with benefits thing never works long.
If though you do feel this then carefully let her know how you feel. You will have to be able to hear the messages she sends you to know when the time is right. Listen to her words. Listen to her body language around you. Believe me if she wants you she is telling you, you just need to know how to listen.
I agree. It seems that you should tell her. Everyone had some pretty good points so I wont add anything other than good luck!
You should tell her how you feel about her or you will regret it for the rest of your life.
I don't know. Maybe ease into a friends-with-benefits and let it slowly develop.
To tell you the truth I never owned up to any feelings until they told me first. I think you should have a good idea what the result will be before opening yourself up.
Just ask her if she ever considered dating you?
Veni, vidi, vici" Julius Caesar 47 BC
Tell her that you have watched her date all the wrong guys and that you think you can do better by her. Make sure she understands that you don't want to ruin your friendship or lose her as a friend but you just have to know if there is a mutual attraction. Maybe get a mutual friend to help you and get them to ask her what she thinks about you and dating you, that would keep you from asking her straight out and she may ask you instead, at least you would know then.
Veni, vidi, vici" Julius Caesar 47 BC
Everyone has made some good points here.
As someone who went through similar situation back in H.S. (granted it was over a decade ago), when you simplify your decision to its most basic state what do you have -- something similar to the "red pill / blue pill" scene in the matrix.
a. DON´T SAY : things remain the same, and your reality will not be affected.
b. SAY : thing will change and your reality will be affected, whether it is for better or worst will be up to her.
Like DD said, you must first understand that there is no going back after you tell her.
So what's wrong with a single guy banging a few female friends every now and then? Good stuff!