Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

BDSM Help

last reply
9 replies
2.2k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Rookie Scribe
0 likes
Hi Everyone,

This one is mainly for the guys but girls can answer to. My current bf is into alot of his bondage sex but also a female dominating him. Im a shy person and dont have as much experience as him so tend to be the submissive one cause i dont know wat to do. Does anyone know what i can do to improve my shyness or any ideas on how i can dominate him.

thanks

Lurker
0 likes
Here are some tips I found online:

Qualities of a Good Mistress
by "K"


Here are some qualities I think are found in a good Mistress. As always, YMMV.

1. Control
Above all, a good Mistress is always in control of herself. She does not rant or rave, and never punishes when angry. On the rare times that temper overwhelms her, she walks away until she regains balance. After all, how can a Domme control her sub if she can't control herself?

2. Creative
A good Dominant puts time, energy and creativity in her scenes. She is not satisfied playing the same games over and over, and goes the extra length to come up with new and different ideas.

3. Human
The best Mistress knows she is human. She realizes she will make mistakes, and is quick to apologize when she does. She knows she won't be thought of as any less "Domly" because of an apology. On the flip side, she realizes that others will make mistakes also, and even though she may punish for the mistake, she accepts an apology graciously and puts the event in the past.

4. Compassion
A good Mistress is compassionate. She cares about her sub(s), friends and family. She takes time to listen and respond to the needs of others. She isn't selfish and doesn't have the illusion that the world revolves around her.

5. Technique
A good Domme works on her play technique. She knows how to use her toys and practices frequently. She reads the latest books and talks to others in the scene. An effective Mistress tests her toys on herself before she uses them on her sub.

6. Consistent
The best Femdomme is consistent in her instructions and requests. She doesn't give her sub conflicting commands. She delivers equal punishment for equal offenses, and equal rewards when pleased. She is firm in her direction and does not waiver when faced with a difficult situation.

7. Thorough
An effective Dominant is thorough. She directs a scene from start to finish to better allow her sub to achieve subspace. She takes away all distractions and decisions... telling her sub what position she desires, what needs she wants fufilled, and how this is best accomplished.

8. Respect
A good Mistress respects herself and others. She strives to always project herself in the best possible light, and expects the same from her submissive(s). She is well-groomed, and takes pride in her looks. She takes good care of her toys and equipment.

9. Safety
A Domme worth playing with is safe. She is aware of the damage she can cause a submissive and does her best to prevent harm. She knows first-aid and attends classes periodically to keep herself updated.

10. Communication
A good Domme is an effective communicator. She says what she means, and means what she says. She is specific and chooses her words carefully. She doesn't rant, nag or whine because she knows this shows a lack of control. She states instructions in a clear, easy-to-understand manner.
Smiley Guru
0 likes
Great List Rocco! That's good advice for any Dominant.
Rookie Scribe
0 likes
hi roccotool thanks for the advice, i have being looking at websites but its so hard to find things.
Mr Nobody
0 likes
Quote by sxyblondechick69
hi roccotool thanks for the advice, i have being looking at websites but its so hard to find things.


This should do the job ..

Lurker
0 likes
Quote by sxyblondechick69
My current bf is into alot of his bondage sex but also a female dominating him. Im a shy person ...


What a great opportunity for you to act as your Domme alter-ego.

Does he ever talk about a female teacher from school that he fancied, I wonder? Anyway, you could apply roccotool's rules and play a strict teacher.

Think back to your own school days. I bet the teachers you respected did not scream like banshees but rather had a calm air of authority. Draw on your own memories of a particular female teacher. What sort of clothes did she wear? How did she carry herself? How did she speak? Imagine how she would play the following recipe:

1. Teacher (you) explains to pupil (bf) that his school work is below par.
2. Inform him you are disappointed because you know he is capable of better results and you are only prepared to remain his teacher if he agrees to be physically disciplined by you.
3. Tell him you are going to leave him for five minutes to think about your proposal. [Anticipation is important]
4. When you return, ask him whether he agrees to your terms.
5. (Assuming he agrees). Sit down in a suitable chair.
6. Ask him to stand by your side.
7. Tell him to put his hands on his head.
8. Slowly unbuckle his belt etc so that his pants fall to around his ankles. Let him stew for a few seconds. [More anticipation!]
9. Instruct him to lay over your lap.
10. Playfully slap his left buttock and then his right buttock. Repeat process several times, gradually increasing the intensity.
11. Take a breather, with bf still over your lap. Rub his bottom.
12. Tell him he needs this punishment, but don't yabber on too much.
13. Resume spanking.
14. Take another break and then tell him to stand up.
15. Put your thumbs in the waistband of his underpants. Give him a few seconds to anticipate what is likely to happen next.
16. Slowly pull down his underpants.
17. Tell him to return over your lap.
18. Comment on the pink hue of his bottom.
19. Resume spanking until his bottom is red.
20. Caress his bottom. Remind him that he needed this punishment.
21. Tell him to stand in the corner for 5-10 minutes with his hands on his head.
22. He may want to perform oral sex on you at this point.

Later, review roleplay with bf to see how it could be improved.
Lurker
0 likes
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Just an idea, I never role play myself like this..... - tie me, I mean him to the bed, put a blindfold on him so you're not too shy about what he's looking at.

Then you can rub oil all over his body, getting him aroused, rub your breasts on his body and then face, then push his head down so you can straddle my, um, his face, forcing him to eat you out. If he refuses, and you can role play this, squeeze his balls a little, or scrape your fingernails down his hardened penis. Keep him at work until you're good and ready, and then slide down his body and mount him.

And................cut!
Flutterby Pharie
0 likes
Plow.....I get the feeling you have done this before.....
♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
Lush Legend
0 likes
Quote by mrplow
Just an idea, I never role play myself like this..... - tie me, I mean him to the bed, put a blindfold on him so you're not too shy about what he's looking at.

Then you can rub oil all over his body, getting him aroused, rub your breasts on his body and then face, then push his head down so you can straddle my, um, his face, forcing him to eat you out. If he refuses, and you can role play this, squeeze his balls a little, or scrape your fingernails down his hardened penis. Keep him at work until you're good and ready, and then slide down his body and mount him.

And................cut!



No, wait, no.....don't cut.......




Nicely done Plow......LOL!
"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by sxyblondechick69
Hi Everyone,

This one is mainly for the guys but girls can answer to. My current bf is into alot of his bondage sex but also a female dominating him. Im a shy person and dont have as much experience as him so tend to be the submissive one cause i dont know wat to do. Does anyone know what i can do to improve my shyness or any ideas on how i can dominate him.

thanks



bring a dominate girl into the mix and let her dominate both of you. learn from her. the best way to learn to be dominate is to serve as a submissive first.