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Do you think having a girl and a boy could save a sinking marriage? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:17:30 AM

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Some people says the best combination for a couple with two kids is a boy and a girl.

Two boys or two girls could fustrate one of the parents , some men want a girl (daddy's girl), and some women want a boy (mama's boy), so having one of each balances the whole thing.

Now, this could sound superficial, but do you think a sinking marriage could have better chances to survive if they have girl and boy, rather than g&g or b&b?

Talking in general.
sprite
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:25:42 AM

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if the marriage is sinking, the parents have no right to try to fix it up by bringing kids into the world - most likely they will be the straw the breaks the camel's back and then, you saddle your children with a broken home - fix the marriage before you have children - get counseling or whatever.

Live, love, laugh.
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:27:00 AM

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If the marriage is already in trouble the worst thing possible would be to add kids into the mix. It just makes the situation more complicated and adds more people to get hurt.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:40:50 AM

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I don't think the gender of the kids matters - adding kids to a messed up marriage is always a bad call.

I get where you are coming from with certain cultures though. Some cultures still put high value on having a boy child, so maybe if they are unable to, or keep having girls, it puts a strain on the relationship. Not saying this is the way marriage should ever work, but the pressure is still there in many cultures/countries.

I do know a guy (the successful yuppie type) who said the only reason he got married at all was to procreate. He said he would have remained a single bachelor if he wasn't planning on having kids. When his wife had major fertility issues, he was seriously considering bailing on the marriage because of that. He just saw marriage as the necessary means to getting to have kids. When she was finally able to conceive after a long struggle, in a way I guess it did *technically* save their sinking marriage... Well for now, anyway. lol

tashitasha
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:42:18 AM

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Seriously, fix the marriage or move on. no kid will save a sinking boat. It would probably be hard at first but time cures. I spent most of my childhood watching my parents argue and yell at each other and they still do that today and it gets worst. I can't even remember seeing them holding hands or something. I always felt that if they did not have me, they would have split and be happier doing what they really want.

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lafayettemister
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:46:38 AM

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culisimo wrote:
Some people says the best combination for a couple with two kids is a boy and a girl.

Two boys or two girls could fustrate one of the parents , some men want a girl (daddy's girl), and some women want a boy (mama's boy), so having one of each balances the whole thing.

Now, this could sound superficial, but do you think a sinking marriage could have better chances to survive if they have girl and boy, rather than g&g or b&b?

Talking in general.


Generally speaking, can having a boy and a girl save a sinking marriage... No.





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Guest
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:48:49 AM

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Dont do that to the kids
1curiouscat
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:49:35 AM

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I agree with people above here. I´d suggest getting outside help before afflicting all the negativity of a bad marriage on a harmless child. This could damage every other relationship the kid has.



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Guest
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 11:57:25 AM

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Dancing_Doll wrote:
I don't think the gender of the kids matters - adding kids to a messed up marriage is always a bad call.

I get where you are coming from with certain cultures though. Some cultures still put high value on having a boy child, so maybe if they are unable to, or keep having girls, it puts a strain on the relationship. Not saying this is the way marriage should ever work, but the pressure is still there in many cultures/countries.

I do know a guy (the successful yuppie type) who said the only reason he got married at all was to procreate. He said he would have remained a single bachelor if he wasn't planning on having kids. When his wife had major fertility issues, he was seriously considering bailing on the marriage because of that. He just saw marriage as the necessary means to getting to have kids. When she was finally able to conceive after a long struggle, in a way I guess it did *technically* save their sinking marriage... Well for now, anyway. lol




So true. A few weeks ago there was an "incident" in Afganistan involving a guy who tried to kill his wife after she delivered their third baby girl. The police was after him, though, so things seem to be better in Afganistan, a few years ago this wouldn´t even make the news.

And I remember a certain woman from certain country in South America...she was the lover of a married guy, and finally got the man to divorce his wife and marry her. Two years and two baby girls later, she's back at square one, the guy is semi-lost. And I am sure that woman wanted a boy, she got pregnat of her second baby girl just 3 months after delivering the first one. Karma.
Buz
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2012 12:34:08 PM

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I think that would just be putting the kid through a future parental divorce.

Have children because you are dedicated to the marriage, your spouse, think it will work, know you'll be happy, you are excited about making and raising children together and look forward to bunches of grandkids!





Naughtygrl73
Posted: Tuesday, February 14, 2012 12:34:07 AM

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Having children regardless of their gender will never ever ever fix a marriage.
You need to be a committed couple long before bringing the little devils into the mix if your relationship has any hope of lasting the distance
Ruthie
Posted: Tuesday, February 14, 2012 1:45:48 PM

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sprite wrote:
if the marriage is sinking, the parents have no right to try to fix it up by bringing kids into the world - most likely they will be the straw the breaks the camel's back and then, you saddle your children with a broken home - fix the marriage before you have children - get counseling or whatever.


Sprite has nailed this one.
VanGogh
Posted: Friday, February 17, 2012 7:58:07 PM

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Naughtygrl73 wrote:

Having children regardless of their gender will never ever ever fix a marriage.
You need to be a committed couple long before bringing the little devils into the mix if your relationship has any hope of lasting the distance


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Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 18, 2012 8:39:05 PM

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Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 8:41:23 AM

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Maybe people in a sinking marriage can just try getting a fucking puppy... I'm sure it would achieve the same kind of togetherness a punk kid would create but without the diapers, shit grades, back talking, teen years etc.



bichelor
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 10:34:14 AM

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Magical_felix wrote:
Maybe people in a sinking marriage can just try getting a fucking puppy... I'm sure it would achieve the same kind of togetherness a punk kid would create but without the diapers, shit grades, back talking, teen years etc.


This is what I was going to say. Also don't really think that adding the stress of taking care of two children would help.
simplyjohn
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 11:01:42 AM

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OMG .. The last thing I feel you do in a marriage thats isnt 100% sound is to have children .. boys or girls isnt relevant.

budwilliams
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 12:53:12 PM

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I've seen more than one bad marriage held together, with duct tape and baling wire, "for the kids"
In the long run, it's not good for anyone involved
Sirene_Jaune
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 1:38:19 PM

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I don't see the point in having children no matter what the sex is. If the relationship is falling apart bringing another life as a band-aid to save the relationship is just wrong. It's not going to fix it and then there is going to be fighting for custody etc.

Watch Maury and there is almost some chick on there who had a baby as a relationship saver only to find the guy has moved on or married someone else.

Good example:



The mother is hysterical because her former boyfriend is now married to someone else!

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Guest
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 5:32:13 PM

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All apologies for the previous comment, was thinking about the kids in the beauty contests thread when I replied. Oops.

As for this one, no, not a good idea.

At about 21, I told my folks, stop the bullshit, you either love each other, then say so and get on with it, or separate and get on with it. I'm 21, about to head out because I don't want to be a part of either of you with the way you both are and have been. Don't stay together for me, because I'm out the door, and you will both die unhappy.

I still reflect and remember the hurt, anger, malice, and general discord. Should any kid have to go through that?

Dysfunction is not something any parent should want to bequeath unto their child.

littlemissbitch
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 5:47:31 PM

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i have a boy...and a girl. im in the middle of a divorce so i say no.

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