(*And were in a long term relationship?)
I'm asking for a reason. My story "Accidental Groupie for the Night" was inspired by this, and I'm really okay with whatever may or may not have transpired. I told the story below to a girl I worked with, and she's like..."Oh, she totally blew him in the car." I think there's a 50/50 chance something happened.
A few years ago, my girlfriend and her friends got a famous singer-songwriter and a few of his bandmates back to their house...a large post-college house with a hot tub and five hot girls that live there. My girlfriend didn't live with them, but she's hot. I should also say it wasn't just the girls and the singer/bandmates. It turned into a big party...there were other guys I know there, that were not associated with the singer/bandmates.
My girlfriend is texting throughout the night (I was at another bar) and she's like Famous Singer is here...it's getting crazy. She says two of her friends are trying to fuck the famous singer songwriter. Obviously. One of the friends fucks a band member in a big closet.
I get home at 3 am, and my girlfriend gets home at 3:30. She wasn't *very* drunk and was able to drive the famous singer songwriter back to his hotel with one of his other bandmates. (Not sure if other bandmate was actually there, but she says he was.) When my girlfriend gets home she's hot and bothered...and we fuck...it was hot, hard and sweaty.
I think we both knew that she was working out some shit she felt with the famous singer songwriter - she was probably thinking of him - and I can't blame her, really. Famous people/celebrities hold an appeal...for both guys and girls.
Last question...Any chance she would tell me if it happened, after I tell her I don't care? I know there are some things you women like to keep secret, but I want to use this as a conversation starter regarding an open relationship/swinging lifestyle. Something I'm not sure she'd be into.
Thanks!
Ooooh... tricky.
When a guy (or a girl) tells us: "hey, I promise I won't care if you did something with them, you can tell me," it definitely doesn't give us the green-light to confess. Mainly because we're aware that human emotion is involved, and a theoretical 'maybe she blew that singer that night' is different than the detailed reality of, "yes, he fucked my mouth all night and then unloaded until cum was dripping down my chin - that same mouth you were kissing when I got home later - that doesn't bug you though, right?"
We always still think there is a chance the confession will backfire, no matter how relaxed you might seem about it before it's confirmed. We are afraid of judgment (eg. 'omg, my girlfriend is a cheating slut'), or - since you're in a long-term relationship - ruining the potential for marriage (eg. 'I can't marry a girl that has cheated on me' or 'I don't respect her anymore'), or that you will see this as a get-out-of-jail-free card to have your own extracurricular fun outside the relationship, and she may not be into the idea of an open-relationship, even if she did slip up that night.
If I were you - I would talk about the merits of an open-relationship first. See where you stand on that one. Talk about the rules and whether you're going to share details of those experiences with each other (it definitely can be a huge turn-on if done properly). Let the open relationship idea be completely separate from whatever happened that night, so she doesn't feel it's influenced things, or that you only want an open-relationship because she blew the singer (if she did). Then once the ground rules are laid out and you're both on the same page, you can start probing for more details on that night, while still reassuring her that it's a turn-on to hear them - not something that you're going to hold against her later. Then... she might be comfortable enough to confess the truth.
As for whether she gave him a BJ... you know your girlfriend best. She will probably have read into the tone of your texts that night. If you seemed enthusiastic/teasing in your replies as she was telling you what was going on, she might have been more likely to go for it, if the opportunity presented itself. But as it is - sounds like she was more telling you with more of a 'wow, can you believe what's going on!' vibe. Obviously her friends were fucking around, and she was probably getting attention from them, but that doesn't mean she did anything. I've been in similar situations - it really just depends on how likely you are to cheat more than whether he was a famous person (unless maybe he was a celeb-crush for her before that night).
But I dunno... those hotel parties can be pretty fucked up in general. If her friends were getting it, and there were plenty of guys around, they definitely tried to pull your girlfriend into the action. Most are pretty respectful though if the girl is not into it, but yeah, some attempts to convince her definitely went down. lol The fact that she was texting you all night, you have no prior history of an open relationship or cheating and that she was all riled up to have sex with you when she got home tends to make me think she didn't do anything though. Just my take on it.
If it was me and I was planning on hiding it from my guy, I would have been giving as few details as possible so that I wouldn't be questioned or grilled about it later. I wouldn't be trying to raise suspicions by texting or telling you about driving the guy around etc. And I would definitely avoid getting too close to you as soon as I got home (I'd be running for the shower or the mouthwash or pretending I was too tired/drunk). It's different if you guys have an open relationship or have talked about the kink-factor of doing stuff like this and then telling each other the details later, but if you haven't - I would be playing it super-safe and lowkey to avoid raising suspicions if I'd actually fucked around with them.
The fact that she had some hot nasty sex with you when she got home does really make it seem like she DIDN'T actually do anything. Yeah, she WANTED to, ~hell, who wouldn't~, but the chances are she didn't so don't expect some hot confessions. But as DD says, approaching the idea of an 'open' lifestyle shouldn't really stem from the one night that 'maybe' happened. It's too much of a risk and she might get offended/slap you/go crazy or something along those lines. I know a swinging lifestyle conversation can be a pretty difficult topic to broach and while she might be like 'God, i was waiting for you to ask!', you've got to consider the other possible extreme. My advice to you would be to maybe just ask her general opinion on the 'open' relationship, maybe referring to some friends with that lifestyle and see what she says. If it's positive then WOOP WOOP but if not then maybe lay off a little and see what happens. But since the wild party thing was a few years ago, I'd say go for the swinging conversation first and then, if you're still interested, ask her about the singer. Just sort of reduces the chance of her getting offended.
Why do you think it was only a BJ and she didnt fuck him? Not suggesting she did but just curious why!
I personally think your GF didnt do anything with this guy. Did she want to? Maybe. Did the idea of being with him make her hot? Most definitely! Celebs, especially if it is a big name have a way of making us excited, maybe because they seem so unattainable. But unless your GF is really stupid, I dont think she would have gone into such detail about what was going on at the party if she did anything.
As for getting into the open relationship, you can casually bring up ideas regarding it. Maybe something involving the famous singer like these guys usually are in open relationships since they are on the road so much and have women throwing themselves at them (be careful not to suggest she did that). See what her reaction is and then maybe ask if she could ever see herself in a relationship like that. Again be very subtle so it appears that you are just interested in her opinion and not suggesting it for her.
BTW, as someone who has been with a couple celebs (no one real famous, more D listers) they are no better in bed!!
Thanks...everyone's insights have been very helpful and confirmed some things for me.
@Dancing_Doll: I agree that I should keep the two issues separate...I feel like I've been having my fantasy cloud what really probably happened, and my hopes for opening things up influence those events. Also I agree saying "Hey it's totally cool..." does seem a little like a trap. I'd be wary, too.
@SITTING: Yeah, it's been my gut feeling to keep the two incidents separate...thanks for confirming.
@Nikki703: I guess I asked about BJ over fucking only because my female coworker suggested that it happened and that it would be the easiest. Either one could have happened. There was two hours where we weren't texting...
Thanks again...
Well, either way, it did fire us up for later...Also, I promise everyone that my next topic post will not be 1 million words.
Yes i would and depends who it is.
For the sake of the story, it would help to know if the singer/songwriter was, like, a member of ZZTop or Justin Bieber. I wouldn't blow either one, but I don't swing that way.
