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Shylass
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 5:41:42 AM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,653
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
sprite wrote:


umm... you should re-read that bit and see how funny it sounds - would you say you're easily offended? sorry, but i couldn't resist. *giggles and runs*


I still haven't been able to get through all the posts yet, but Great Neptune! This reminds me of a course I was once on. Sessions revolved around this conversation:

1: I find what you just said offensive.

2: I am offended you find me offensive! I'm not at all offensive!

1: You so are offensive, or I wouldn't be offended!

3: I can't believe you you have offended 1, that's so rude!

2: 3, I am utterly offended by you, 3! *flounces out and slams the door*


Next session:


2: I'm so sorry I walked out, 3. Something you said reminded me of my father when he once offended me, and I couldn't deal with it. I'm so sorry for offending you, 1. I never meant to.

1: You're a very offensive person, but it's why I like you.

3: I do not accept your apology, you clearly have many issues that you need to sort out before you come into the classroom, and until you do, I shall not be a part of this any more. *flounces out and slams the door*



Next session:

3: I'm so sorry I said those awful things to you, 2, and walked out. It was very rude of me, but I needed to calm down, and sort out some issues.

2: Please don't do it again, I have a walking-out-on-me complex and it makes it very difficult for me to function.

4: I can't believe how rude and dysfunctional you all are! This is terrible for my mental health and I'm on medication for it now! You're all rude, aggressive and self-centred! How dare you infringe on my mental well-being! *flounces out and slams the door*





I left that course. Best thing I ever did (no, I was not 4, I was 5, the one crying with laughter in the corner).


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
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1ball
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 7:37:58 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/13/2011
Posts: 970
Location: United States
sprite wrote:


umm... you should re-read that bit and see how funny it sounds - would you say you're easily offended? sorry, but i couldn't resist. *giggles and runs*


That was humor to make a point. clown

My latest story is too hot to publish. My most recent story before that is Even Stranger In Lust
latinfoxy
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 9:46:48 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/5/2011
Posts: 816
Location: Here
I have a question, what happens when is the Dom that mess up? i mean we are all humans and sometimes we make mistakes and in relationships sometimes you piss someone off and sometimes they piss you off.

So i guess my question is when you are in a 24/7 BDSM relationship and he or she (meaning the Dom Mistress) is the one that screws up, can you just go to them and yell and call them asshole or whatever you feel like telling them? can you punish your Dom for that? Or is it like in a normal relationship were you have a fight and are allowed to be angry at them and then you just move on? or do they just have to accept everything no matter what it is?
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 9:55:21 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,237
Location: My Tower, United States
latinfoxy wrote:
I have a question, what happens when is the Dom that mess up? i mean we are all humans and sometimes we make mistakes and in relationships sometimes you piss someone off and sometimes they piss you off.
one that screws up, can you just go to them and yell and call them asshole or whatever you feel like telling them? can you punish your Dom for that? Or is it like in a normal relationship were you have a fight and are allowed to be angry at them and then you just move on? or do they just have to accept everything no matter what it is?


oo. good one. mine usually admits it and apologizes and then lavishes extra attention on me. we don't get into fights or yelling matches, tho. i reserve those for my full time partner and sometimes Domme. honestly, i don't know how it is for those in 'the lifestyle' so i'm curious to hear about it too. i know that i myself aren't shy of making my displeasure known if i feel it is justified, but my case IS a little different. personally, i think that NO - you should NOT accept everything no matte what it is - if a Dom/me oversteps their bounds or messed up, it should be addressed. safe word should come out, and there should be a discussion at the very least - and it should be outside of the D/s bounds - sometimes you just DO have to let the emotions fly a bit. in the end, both Dom/me and sub ARE only human.

i'd be interested to hear the true 24/7's take on this, though :)

Live, love, laugh.
latinfoxy
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:08:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/5/2011
Posts: 816
Location: Here
sprite wrote:


safe word should come out, and there should be a discussion at the very least - and it should be outside of the D/s bounds - sometimes you just DO have to let the emotions fly a bit. in the end, both Dom/me and sub ARE only human.



My question is not about hard limits or things involved in the rules you have set up in the BDSM relationship, i mean it more in the normal day to day life, i dont know maybe they said they were gonna be there at certain time and they were late, or forgot to buy milk, or i dont know things like that.
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:12:31 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
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Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,237
Location: My Tower, United States
latinfoxy wrote:


My question is not about hard limits or things involved in the rules you have set up in the BDSM relationship, i mean it more in the normal day to day life, i dont know maybe they said they were gonna be there at certain time and they were late, or forgot to buy milk, or i dont know things like that.


*nods* got it. yeah, you'll have to ask the hard core people. like i said, my relationship with my woman leaves me completely open to griping when she forgets to buy ice cream or leaves the dishes for me or whatever. we have arguments just like anyone else and when she's wrong, she'll back down and apologize and sometimes i'll just be in a bad mood and pick a fight with her and we resolve is just like anyone else would - with lots of make up sex. :)

Live, love, laugh.
latinfoxy
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:59:47 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/5/2011
Posts: 816
Location: Here
sprite wrote:


*nods* got it. yeah, you'll have to ask the hard core people. like i said, my relationship with my woman leaves me completely open to griping when she forgets to buy ice cream or leaves the dishes for me or whatever. we have arguments just like anyone else and when she's wrong, she'll back down and apologize and sometimes i'll just be in a bad mood and pick a fight with her and we resolve is just like anyone else would - with lots of make up sex. :)


Exactly!! what happens then? and also you made me think of another question, what if you are just really in a bad mood, nothing to do with your Dom, you just waked up with a bitchy attitude and hormones are having a play day in your mind. Can you just say i dont feel like doing (insert things your dom says you have to do daily) because im in a bitchy mood?
Fugly
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 3:20:26 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/11/2010
Posts: 1,010
This has been an ummm interesting all rounder thread lol

What I have learnt from this, is that many should not claim they live or practice bdsm but rather say they practice kinky sex if they believe that there is no control factor involved. And I believe that anyone that has been in an previous abusive relationship should stay clear of bdsm if they are quick to call any control abuse or any need abuse. Also learnt that some are very confused if they are a sub or a dom. I have learnt that it is no wonder people are getting the wrong idea that subs are the true masters. I have learnt that we are not tolerant on different views, ideas and opinions and have learnt that we are giving the wrong impression and yes it does seem we are too sensitive.
Shylass
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 4:02:11 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,653
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Latexìa wrote:
This has been an ummm interesting all rounder thread lol

What I have learnt from this, is that many should not claim they live or practice bdsm but rather say they practice kinky sex if they believe that there is no control factor involved. And I believe that anyone that has been in an previous abusive relationship should stay clear of bdsm if they are quick to call any control abuse or any need abuse. Also learnt that some are very confused if they are a sub or a dom. I have learnt that it is no wonder people are getting the wrong idea that subs are the true masters. I have learnt that we are not tolerant on different views, ideas and opinions and have learnt that we are giving the wrong impression and yes it does seem we are too sensitive.





Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
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LadyX
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 4:06:15 PM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,813
Agreed, very interesting and somewhat educational for me all the way through. I often note the short-fuse for defensiveness in this forum section, but I understand why to some extent. We all (well, most people, anyways) are a little bit defensive about something or other, and anything we hold dear that is so widely misunderstood will often qualify.
Shylass
Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 4:14:11 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,653
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
LadyX wrote:
Agreed, very interesting and somewhat educational for me all the way through. I often note the short-fuse for defensiveness in this forum section, but I understand why to some extent. We're all (well, most people, anyways) are a little bit defensive about something or other, and anything we hold dear that is so widely misunderstood will often qualify.


Agreed. It is extremely difficult to post calmly when we believe we are either being attacked for something, misunderstood, or, in particular for me, if a person seems to be either unable, or unwilling to concede that we are different, and have different views. It's okay to have those different views, even if we don't like them (as long as they're legal!). But I feel we shouldn't (openly) judge others for being what we think is wrong in some way, unless we want to look a fool. I would love for people to be able to both express themselves without fear of being patronised or labelled by others, and to do the same for others. Sadly, Utopia is a long way off.

I like to understand people and try to see things from their point of view. I get very cross when others refuse to, even if they have every right to. Naughty! sunny Many of the things I read on Lush have me cringing and WTFing and WTHIWWYing, but I try to keep that to myself, and attempt to understand. It's a learning curve. For everybody.



Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
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Pretzel
Posted: Thursday, May 31, 2012 9:56:07 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/9/2012
Posts: 141
Location: United States

Anyone who has been married or been in a relationship for a few years will understand that you will NEVER understand another couples marriage/relationship. It's just not yours to understand. It's theirs. It's as personal as it gets.


We all set boundaries in our relationships either by verbal agreement or simple understanding of the other person over time. We can sit here and pontificate about it and try to rationalize it to ourselves so that their preferences don't threaten us or make us uncomfortable but you will get different answers as to what it means to them every time you ask a different couple. Maybe this is all very obvious.


Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 31, 2012 6:43:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
well I usually follow my mistress's rules. I occasionally do fuck up and when I do I get my ass beat. If she goes overboard she will feel guilty and apologise.
I am allowed to talk to family and friends outside of the lifestyle. But as far as playing I can only play with my owner and on her terms obviously. Like I can only drink one 20 ounce bottle of pop. If I sneak I get my ass beat. (Ofcourse I love the fact my mistress/owner comes up with new ways to beat the shit out of me)
Dudealicious
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 12:46:00 PM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,525
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Beck wrote:
well I usually follow my mistress's rules. I occasionally do fuck up and when I do I get my ass beat. If she goes overboard she will feel guilty and apologise.
I am allowed to talk to family and friends outside of the lifestyle. But as far as playing I can only play with my owner and on her terms obviously. Like I can only drink one 20 ounce bottle of pop. If I sneak I get my ass beat. (Ofcourse I love the fact my mistress/owner comes up with new ways to beat the shit out of me)


Shakes head

I am really disappointed in this statement, a BDSM relationship or a BDSM "kink" has NOTHING to do with beating the shit out of someone. If pain needs to be used as a form of punishment fine. But beating the shit out of someone is a chargeable offence and the police should be called in to arrest the abuser, plain and simple.



The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

sprite
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 12:52:58 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,237
Location: My Tower, United States
Dudealicious wrote:


Shakes head

I am really disappointed in this statement, a BDSM relationship or a BDSM "kink" has NOTHING to do with beating the shit out of someone. If pain needs to be used as a form of punishment fine. But beating the shit out of someone is a chargeable offence and the police should be called in to arrest the abuser, plain and simple.



*nods* i was about to chime in saying pretty much the same thing. this isn't a relationship, this is abuse. i've been there and there's no doubt in my head. honestly, if what you say is true, i'd get out before it goes one step too far and you end up seriously hurt, both physically and emotionally.

Live, love, laugh.
sprite
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 1:01:04 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
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Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,237
Location: My Tower, United States
adendum: it's easy to apologize after the fact - truth is, you keep forgiving them, and they might even be sincere, but from my own experience, that apology means nothing. it took a stint in the ICU for me to finally wise up - don't let it go that far. is you're getting beat up because your Mistress cant control her anger, what happens when she REALLY loses it? don't wait around to find out.

Live, love, laugh.
Dudealicious
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 1:02:10 PM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,525
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
sprite wrote:


*nods* i was about to chime in saying pretty much the same thing. this isn't a relationship, this is abuse. i've been there and there's no doubt in my head. honestly, if what you say is true, i'd get out before it goes one step too far and you end up seriously hurt, both physically and emotionally.




The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Shylass
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 1:31:08 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,653
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Dudealicious wrote:







Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
freakycactus
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 3:02:13 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/12/2010
Posts: 410
Location: On my cloud, United Kingdom
sprite wrote:
adendum: it's easy to apologize after the fact - truth is, you keep forgiving them, and they might even be sincere, but from my own experience, that apology means nothing. it took a stint in the ICU for me to finally wise up - don't let it go that far. is you're getting beat up because your Mistress cant control her anger, what happens when she REALLY loses it? don't wait around to find out.


Just to add to this that it gets easier to forgive them the more you do it, until you stop thinking and you automatically say the words, 'It's ok.'

Ruthie
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 3:49:41 PM

Rank: Story Verifier
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Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,696
Location: United States
There have to be rules.

I don't have an online master or mistress, but if I did I would expect there to be rules, and I'd expect to be punished if I didn't follow them.

A BDSM relationship isn't the same thing as an abusive relationship. Where do people get ideas like that? My relationship is as loving as any vanilla relationship, and maybe more so. It's a consensual relationship. If I didn't like it I wouldn't be doing it. Part of the attraction for me is the total surrender of myself to another. It requires trust. Control is about trust too.

No two relationships are ever exactly the same.
sprite
Posted: Friday, June 01, 2012 7:56:27 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
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Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,237
Location: My Tower, United States
CoopsRuthie wrote:
There have to be rules.

I don't have an online master or mistress, but if I did I would expect there to be rules, and I'd expect to be punished if I didn't follow them.

A BDSM relationship isn't the same thing as an abusive relationship. Where do people get ideas like that? My relationship is as loving as any vanilla relationship, and maybe more so. It's a consensual relationship. If I didn't like it I wouldn't be doing it. Part of the attraction for me is the total surrender of myself to another. It requires trust. Control is about trust too.

No two relationships are ever exactly the same.


it's abusive when the one who is supposed to be in control regularly loses her temper and quote, unquote, beats the shit out of their sub. that's not bdsm. that's abuse, pure and simple. it's not ok, and it's not healthy, and it's certainly not a good example of what a real bdsm relationship is all about - we're trying to dispel the misinformation about bdsm here, not propagate it. if my Mistress ever lost her temper and beat the shit out of me for an infraction, i'd leave her, after kicking her ass. punishment is one thing. seriously injuring me is another. i give my consent to one, not to the other.

btw, she would never do that, so it's theoretical point. i know that for a fact. it's called trust and she's earned it. :)

Live, love, laugh.
Ruthie
Posted: Sunday, June 03, 2012 2:00:49 PM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,696
Location: United States
sprite wrote:


it's abusive when the one who is supposed to be in control regularly loses her temper and quote, unquote, beats the shit out of their sub. that's not bdsm. that's abuse, pure and simple. it's not ok, and it's not healthy, and it's certainly not a good example of what a real bdsm relationship is all about - we're trying to dispel the misinformation about bdsm here, not propagate it. if my Mistress ever lost her temper and beat the shit out of me for an infraction, i'd leave her, after kicking her ass. punishment is one thing. seriously injuring me is another. i give my consent to one, not to the other.

btw, she would never do that, so it's theoretical point. i know that for a fact. it's called trust and she's earned it. :)


I agree with you. That kind of relationship shouldn't be called a BDSM relationship though, it should be called an abusive relationship. The abuser just calls it a BDSM relationship to provide cover for the abuse.

Nobody should stay in an abusive relationship, they're too dangerous.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, June 19, 2012 12:21:06 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
Shylass wrote:
I'm seriously trying to understand. I've read what I am able to in this part of the forum, just to try and gain some understanding of this lifestyle/culture/preference (sorry, I'm not sure what I'm meant to call it).

What I am wondering about is, where I see on profiles things like, "I can't talk to other people unless my master says I can..." and "I only chat to my mistress because it's the rules..." etc.

Is it simply the nature of this site, that masters and mistresses don't want their subs to communicate with others? Like, they are afraid of them sharing some naughty things with them? So they aren't allowed to use it as a social thing? Is it that they want complete control over who they may and may not speak with because they want to keep them to themselves? Does this spill over into Real Life too? Can people not meet up with others and stuff?

I really don't understand. I love Lush because I can interact with people. Why take away part of the experience? What do you both gain from Lush if it is not to interact with people, or is it purely to interact with each other? Does it make a difference if you have an online relationship as opposed to a real-life-see-each-other relationship?

Thank you for any responses you can give that help me understand.


It's not that a Master or Mistress doesn't want their sub to communicate with others or that they are afraid of them sharing some naughty things with others....it's the fact that their subs are inferior to them...and them may address any rules that they feel is necessary.

In my case....i am inferior to my Master....he is superior to me. One of his rules is that i am not allowed to speak to other males unless i have his permission. He does this to keep me in line. To remind me everyday where my place is. I am his...and ONLY his....and yes this does spill into real life too....but that is another thing.

And to be completely honest.....you personally won't COMPLETELY understand why these rules are established until you become a Master/Mistress....or sub yourself:)
Shylass
Posted: Tuesday, June 19, 2012 1:30:44 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,653
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
WetPussy54 wrote:


It's not that a Master or Mistress doesn't want their sub to communicate with others or that they are afraid of them sharing some naughty things with others....it's the fact that their subs are inferior to them...and them may address any rules that they feel is necessary.

In my case....i am inferior to my Master....he is superior to me. One of his rules is that i am not allowed to speak to other males unless i have his permission. He does this to keep me in line. To remind me everyday where my place is. I am his...and ONLY his....and yes this does spill into real life too....but that is another thing.

And to be completely honest.....you personally won't COMPLETELY understand why these rules are established until you become a Master/Mistress....or sub yourself:)


Okay. I understand your points, and I thank you for responding.

However, unless I fully understand a thing, I do not feel it is safe to enter into a situation, particularly where I make myself vulnerable to another who has power over me. How, then, if I cannot understand, would I be able to be a sub or Mistress? How would I be able able to submit to rules or take control and lay them if I have no real understanding of what it means or requires?


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, June 19, 2012 2:55:24 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
That's the thing with submitting or dominating....it's a risk. It has to be a risk your willing to take...to be able to jump into an unknown zone. To be able to trust someone enough to take their hand. This kind of relationship is a bond of trust and so much more. There isn't a way to exactly "understand" it. It's a desire...and if you want it bad enough...u will make that final step to either submit or dominate.
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 26, 2012 7:07:14 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
Lwinking
latinfoxy wrote:


Exactly!! what happens then? and also you made me think of another question, what if you are just really in a bad mood, nothing to do with your Dom, you just waked up with a bitchy attitude and hormones are having a play day in your mind. Can you just say i dont feel like doing (insert things your dom says you have to do daily) because im in a bitchy mood?


latinfoxy, let Me share My thoughts on the matter. I will be the first to admit I'm not perfect, but My pet understand that. I have given her the right to speak freely if she needs to. All she has to do is ask "Master may I speak freely?" and then once I give her permission we are husband and wife instead of Master.slave for the conversation. She can then feel free to correct me or explain how she thinks I was wrong. She does call Me an asshole or anything - no two people in a relationship should go to cussing each other out - but she does show Me how I was mistaken or how I screwed up. Once that is done, we go back to our D's roles as usual.

As for the bad mood thing. If I'm in a bad mood - and it does happen - then it's up to Me to control that and not let it get in the way of what I'm doing with her. Part of being a Master is maintaining control. If I can't control Myself, how can I control her? And if I'm in a really foul mood, then I have no business playing with pet. I simply don't scene with her. But she can tell when I'm not in a good mood...and usually just sitting on the couch with her in My arms is enough to bring Me out of it pretty easily.Lwinking
beinggood
Posted: Thursday, June 06, 2013 1:31:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/29/2011
Posts: 463
Location: United States
I am never allowed to disrespect...never willingly break rules...never to harm myself...I am allowed my friends unless it is someone he knows is not good for me...I understand as I feel for me my Master knows what is best for me.

doing my best to be good..
BlackTalon
Posted: Thursday, June 06, 2013 3:42:01 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/19/2013
Posts: 55
Location: United States
Shylass wrote:


Okay. I understand your points, and I thank you for responding.

However, unless I fully understand a thing, I do not feel it is safe to enter into a situation, particularly where I make myself vulnerable to another who has power over me. How, then, if I cannot understand, would I be able to be a sub or Mistress? How would I be able able to submit to rules or take control and lay them if I have no real understanding of what it means or requires?


Think of it like swimming.. when most of us learn to swim, we get a little knowledge of how it works... but there is no way to absolutely know you can swim til you jump in. Yes, do research and learn what you can beforehand, but the only way to know what you're capable of is to get your feet wet.

Knowledge is nothing if not shared, with your slave, your community, and those wishing to enter into it. So I will continue to look for topics to give My opinion about, yes opinion.

*** Disclaimer ***
My way of thinking doesn't fit everyone, nor does anyone elses, it is not My intention to tell anyone else here how they must see or do things, as there are as many views of what "the life" means to people as there are people in it.
1LovelyKinkyKitsune
Posted: Monday, July 21, 2014 1:07:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/5/2014
Posts: 951
Location: ♥
This is an older post, and I never answered ~

I would like to add a bit from what I understand ~ that in strict BDSM society circles, a sub is NOT allowed to speak first, only allowed to answer directly or redirect to the Master/Dom -OR- ask for permission: and more specifically the person seeking whatever interaction or conversation is to ask the Master/Dom. This is respect and submission. This is to avoid the all too often compromising situations that might look bad or arise. It is "respect." Distrust has nothing to do with it, or levels of trust. You can take it as a game or serious ~however you wish. Things vary, but some basic rules seem to apply.

A person cannot ask to "play" with the sub or try to take the sub away sexually, ask to be their Master or Sub... if the sub is collared/owned then it is not proper to try this and can result in a confrontation with the Master/Dom and being outcast from future gatherings once word spreads, because onformation is passed along so other Doms know to be on their look-out. Behavior outside of such respect is deemed unacceptibl and, intolerable within the inner circles of etiquette, and must be abided by Dom and sub alike. Some subs are not allowed to speak -or at first AT ALL.

On Lush it could be for a number of reasons why a person may have on their profile they cannot talk to certain people or people in general because it is not allowed. I had that on my profile- subs have rules, though some Doms are more lax.... and rules broken have punishment.

There is the individual basis...
but the above is my understanding.

It should always be consensual, and safe... willing and given, not abused or abusive, and with this is a choice at any time.


Masterspet69XXX
Posted: Friday, August 01, 2014 8:43:36 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/31/2014
Posts: 7
Location: United States
I am new to the world of BDSM and it has definitely been a learning experience. My Master is very kind and has taught me a lot. One thing he advised me do is ask him questions as to what I wanted from the experience and what his ideas were about the whole thing (this was not new to him). He wanted to discuss what my limits were, what his were, what we liked, and what we didn't. Even though he is my Master, he wants to work with me to make sure I am always comfortable, and he makes sure he only pushes me so far as to not scare me, just out of my comfort zone a little at a time. He wants to make sure I trust him, and I do. Very much so.

This is an excellent list that he actually sent me when I agreed to proceed with this sort of relationship with him:

A Dom/sub, Master/slave, Master/pet, Big/little, or whatever you prefer to call it, is not a relationship to be taken lightly. A sub should be comfortable with her Dom and should be able to talk to him without any problem. (And I say him but it can go either way) It is not a relationship based on having commands screamed at you and forced to do things you do not like. It is a relationship that should be based on trust and it is oh so rewarding. Have fun!!!
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