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Can you teach someone to be Dominate? Options · View
TreeSuh
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 11:46:53 AM

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Joined: 6/23/2012
Posts: 132
Is it possible to teach someone who is naturally submissive or shy to be dominate at least in the bedroom?

Thoughts?
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 5:59:43 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 652,873
My first thought is "The word you want to use in that sentence is 'dominant'" unless you want to say ."Is it possible to teach someone who is naturally submissive or shy to dominate, at least in the bedroom?" Subsequent thoughts are "Probably not. If they are naturally submissive and shy, then trying to be dominant is contrary to their natural personality and way of being. Can and do people "fake it"? Sure, all the time. Are there people who only "think" they're submissive and shy until they let the tiger/dragon/dominant out of the repression cage? Sure, happens a lot. Are you holding or attending a seminar?
LordOmega
Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 3:51:32 AM

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Joined: 6/24/2012
Posts: 129
Location: Marietta, United States
This is not a an easy answer. The reason I say this is because of the misconception of Dom/Sub and Master/Slave or Mistress/Slave.

You can teach a sub to be dominat at times. This is how we get switches. Just like you can train some Doms to be subs.

What you can't train is a slave into being a Master or a Mistress. The way I have always tried to explain this to people that are "coming into the scene" is that Dom's and Subs that are only that. Tend to not be 24/7 and tend to "take off the clothes" when the game is done.

A Master/Mistress and a Slave are 24/7 and therefor the personalities are much stronger and much more defined.

If you are a sub, then I would say yes you could become a switch if you had the right teacher. If you are a slave, then you are not going to be able to adopt that Master/Mistress personality.

So the first thing that I would do, is figure out at what stage you are in and what "role" you are. Then I can better answer your direct question. I hope this helps,



If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.

Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.
Alissa
Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 6:55:49 PM

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Location: NYC, United States
NO! Absolutely not.....And why would you? Faking dominance is like faking an organism...It benefits neither party isjda
LordOmega
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 1:08:26 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/24/2012
Posts: 129
Location: Marietta, United States
Alissa, your comment is correct. You can not teach a slave to be a master, nor a permanent submissive to be a dominate.

However there are people that because of situations in life have been "forced" into a role by an irresponsible partner and not given the chance to discover themselves. In those situations there is definitely a way to teach someone who may have been treated as a submissive and only knows those ways who they really are.

Remember that the biggest problem that we suffer from is people who think that absolutes are absolutes.

There is only one true absolute, there are no absolutes.

If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.

Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.
Red_Dragon
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 7:11:32 PM

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Location: Charleston , United States
Prof you are right but being forced into something is not willingly learning something a dominant personality is born in that person not taught to them

Ravyn
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 7:18:37 PM

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Red_Dragon wrote:
Prof you are right but being forced into something is not willingly learning something a dominant personality is born in that person not taught to them


A submissive can be "taught" to some degree but being a true submissive comes from deep within soul its who and what they are meant to be with the right Master or Mistress.

jerseylynn
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 7:56:24 PM

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Location: around and about Hell, United States
Anybody can be taught to do something, but if it's not in them then they will never have the passion, happiness, joy or true understanding.

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
beinggood
Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 8:08:29 PM

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Joined: 6/29/2011
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Location: United States
You can be taught the knowledge and you may know what a dominate is, but you must feel it within yourself..Most know they are this for years before they even enact on it...It is something that is iust born within you

doing my best to be good..
overmykneenow
Posted: Thursday, June 28, 2012 1:02:57 AM

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Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,213
Location: United Kingdom
The argument of nature vs nuture in a person's sexuality has raged for as long as people have been having sex. Asking if you can train someone to be dominant in the bedroom is in many ways similar to asking if you can teach a gay man to be straight.

What I would say to your initial enquiry is that shy does not necessarily mean submissive it might mean just a little prudish. Explain what you enjoy in the privacy of your bedroom, if they can't handle that then maybe you have to consider how important it is to your long term relationship.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

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LordOmega
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2012 9:30:06 PM

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Joined: 6/24/2012
Posts: 129
Location: Marietta, United States
Okay first let me say I understand now why I need to watch the forum more diligently. I walked away for a couple of days on this topic and low and behold I missed multiple posts. So I am going to respond one by one I don't want to leave anyone out.

Red_Dragon
Quote:
being forced into something is not willingly learning something a dominant personality is born in that person not taught to them


Your premise is correct. But a dominate personality can go many ways. For example. I have personal experience with a slave that was with a "Dom" that had a naturally dominate personality but had not taken the time to talk to others and ended up physically harming that slave. So while you don't teach the personality, you do teach the responsibility that comes with it.

Ravyn
Quote:
A submissive can be "taught" to some degree but being a true submissive comes from deep within soul its who and what they are meant to be with the right Master or Mistress.


You are dead on here. The true submissive personality comes from within. But once again, there is a responsibility that comes with being a sub or slave that is very important and that is knowing that you need to have people to talk to other than your Master. Now these are normally other slaves or submissives but the reason for this is simply protection against a Master that is not being responsible. Remember no matter how deep the submission it is consensual submission, and it has to remain that way.

Jerseylynn
Quote:
Anybody can be taught to do something, but if it's not in them then they will never have the passion, happiness, joy or true understanding.


Another perfectly solid statement, but once again the word never presents a problem. A great baseball player is born with natural talent. But if he is never coached, taught or allowed to utilize that talent then he will never be the player he could be. The same is true with a Master/Mistress/Dom/Submissive or Slave. You can be an incredible naturally gifted person, but without the guidance and support of places like this and people in the lifestyle, you may never reach the joy,passion, happiness and understanding you otherwise could.

Beinggood
Quote:
You can be taught the knowledge and you may know what a dominate is, but you must feel it within yourself..Most know they are this for years before they even enact on it...It is something that is iust born within you


Once again I agree that there is a born in nature to a dominate personality. I knew that I had the personality of a Master from a relatively young age, but it took till I was 20 to realize just what that meant. And I had many Masters that had been in the lifestyle before me to help guide me in becoming the Master I am today. It is more than a word. It is a title of respect and like any other title there is training behind it. I see a lot of people that call themselves Masters or Mistresses that are not. It is not that they can't be, it is that they do not have the knowledge needed to act on the responsibility of the role safely yet.


Overmykneenow
Quote:
The argument of nature vs nuture in a person's sexuality has raged for as long as people have been having sex. Asking if you can train someone to be dominant in the bedroom is in many ways similar to asking if you can teach a gay man to be straight.


I think that your example is one that is a little misleading. Being dominant in the bedroom is something that can be done by people in multiple roles. Hence the idea of a switch. But that person has learned and picked things up along the way that has shown them that they are a switch. That is the educational part of it.

In the end it comes down to this. You have a natural inclination. It is the feeling that first makes you go mmmmmmm.... but that doesn't mean that is the only feeling that will do that. Ask questions, find friends and most importantly get to a point where you are happy. And forget what others think of that. If it is what makes you happy, then that is the place you want to be.

If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.

Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.
HK4167
Posted: Monday, July 09, 2012 11:57:16 PM

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Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 3,307
Location: Seattle, United States
I agree with most of the replies above. It's either born with you or not at all.

Welcome to visit my tumblr page at http://HK4167.tumblr.com for erotic arts. Or http://slice-of-moment.tumblr.com for non-erotic arts.
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