So, maybe once a month or so, my wife and I put aside a couple of hours for roleplaying and sex. This is one of my favorite things to do sexually. The one thing that's troublesome is that I am always the one to come up with the scenario... It's not that I mind really, it's just that she "doesn't really have any imagination" or so she says...
About a month ago we were watching the showtime series "Hung". Not a bad show, not my favorite, but interesting. The premise is a very well endowed newly single male PE teacher in incredibly good shape that NEEDS money to be able to keep his house. He ends up in bed with a woman that thinks she can put his talents to good use... Ok ok, so what. Well at one point a client complains to his "pimp" that he did not provide her with her chosen fantasy. The "pimp" says that "that's a male fantasy, not a woman's fantasy" as if he is supposed to know the difference.
So, what is a woman's fantasy and what's the difference? I know I should be able to figure this out, but I have a high sloping brow and am less than adept at such subtleties. Sure I could go on the rest of my days playing out scenarios where my wife is the young woman applying for a personal assistants job, or the student that got caught masturbating in the locker room and I'm the principal. She says she likes those and that's great, but I want to make sure that at least some of the time I am coming up with scenarios that appeal to the female libido, even though I feel like she should be able to do that on her own... In any case, any help would be more than welcome.
Just a reminder, the Incest category/fantasies/discussion is not allowed to be discussed in the forums.
HighDesert, not all women have fantasies. Yes, the majority of women do, and as 1ball says, reading some of the stories will help.
Perhaps your lass is very, very shy, or too embarassed to share what she like. Maybe she doesn't know what she likes. Maybe she only wants to make you happy, and sharing your fantasies is what she wants. Perhaps she isn't comfortable doing it, and would rather just have fun as you are in real life.
Why not actually say what you concern is to her, that you are worried you aren't meeting her needs, or fulfilling her fantasy? Or have you considered that she's telling the truth, and she does like what you;re coming up with? (arf arf)
Maybe you could let her read some of the stories on here, and see if she likes them? And then offer to act out one with her? Or you could watch some porn together and see if she likes that?
Perhaps you could get her to write some key words that make her feel wiggly? And then see if you can create a scenario based around that?
I don't know very much about lads' sexual fantasies, but I do think the only difference between men and women's fantasies, generally, is the sex of the person creating it. People are widely varied in their tastes (in more ways than one, ha ha), and what works for one might not for another, no matter if they are the same sex or not.
I think it's wonderful you are worried about whether she is getting what she needs, but I do think that if she isn't forthcoming with any details, then trying to understand why that is, rather than just trying to coax some out of her or blindly trying to find them, may not be the way forward.
My own fantasy is very simple. Guy fancies me, wants to be with me, does rudies with me. It's that simple. Other friends I have on here have much more intricate fantasies, which no doubt they will be happy to share with you, if they haven't already through their stories.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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I agree that with many women, we don't get fantasies as much as men do. I've heard this in many conversations with other women and groups and it may seem strange or far fetched to guys, but we don't fantasize in the same manner as guys do!
Some of us do! But instead, we get aroused by "triggers" that are more like "instant inspirations" if you will.
It usually is something subtle and not always a direct or deliberate action or circumstance that arises and causes arousal. It can be a simple gesture or we witness a certain action of a person we are attracted to that gets our juices flowing! A great example of a similar situation is when we watch some tv shows, movies or even commercials, and for no reason, we cry! Not always bad crying but many times tears of joy, happiness and rememberance of something special.
So if you get what I just stated, I suggest you carefully pay attention to your wife and see what simple things or gestures interest her our makes her smile, then build upon it and create a scenario with what you've identified as something that pleases or interests her. A word of advice, don't just focus on the one item, you may need to have a couple things that you could interweave together and make into a more interesting scenario!
Good Luck!
Kisses!
Steph
I appreciate the responses so far. Most of the scenarios she likes are one's of her being dominated by an older man, with her playing the 18-21 yo. Unfortunately does not watch porn, but it's interesting hearing that women might not be into fantasizing quite like guys do because the only porn she ever will watch is very specific. Needs to have a plot. Needs to have two men and one woman. Needs to have DP... We acted on that once but not since then, mostly because of her reluctance to peruse on the internet (which I totally get, I really do, and I don't push her on it at all). Trying to fulfill that fantasy can be exceptionally awkward and difficult. Maybe it will happen again. Maybe not.
But back to roleplaying. I think I was not quite specific enough. She likes roleplaying, or at least so it seems, plenty, but she just does not have the ideas for scenarios. Luckily for me, mine have sufficed for the last 12 years. That being said, I worry that my imagination alone is not enough to keep us both interested for the rest of our days. I only look to guidance here for the possible muse that I might need to create scenarios that are specifically arousing to women in general, and therefore, hopefully, my wife as well.
I know, everyone's different, and there are women out there that like to be choked and spit on til orgasm, just as there are men out there that need a cheese grader or a stilleto to the balls to cum. And there are men and women out there that will be FULLY sexually satisfied for their whole lives having sex with only one person in the same position, with little foreplay. I only hope that's not my wife and she simply does this kinda crap to satisfy me....
I think all the standard role plays, such as the naughty nurse, French maid, school girl etc are male fantasies. A girl can have a lot of fun playing out the scenario but it would be done primarily to satisfy the man's needs.
We are all different but I believe most women concoct fantasies and scenarios in their minds and don't necessarily have to act them out.
Reading stories written by women will certainly help you with some ideas.
For me it's a simple one: man or woman really has the hots for me, comes onto me but I initially spurn their advances. They become more pushy and persistent until I eventually give in and let them seduce me and do lots of rude things with me.
Many of mine are based around being forced to do things. It sort of absolves me of responsibility for my debauchery!
I'm with shazz, I often fantasise about being forced by a huge man and getting spanked if I refuse!!!! weird I know but I love it.
So being on a massage table with nothing but a towel on your butt and Adonis rubbing your back isn't a standard fantasy?
My wife and I have talked about fantasies several times, actually I have talked about fantasies and she has said all of hers have already been fulfilled (she has no sexual experience except for me). Every so often I bring the subject up and usually get the same response, until I brought up role playing, that piqued her interest. Seems like she wants to be a prostitute and me her john; complete with her dressing up and being dropped in town while I circle the block or driving herself, parking and walking until I proposition her. Am hoping that creating an alter ego, "Peaches", will get her to lower her inhibitions and have some kinky fun!
Even although I'm in my senior years now, I still get a trememdous thrill out of having a young girl or woman joing me in a little role-play. My favourite is girls in uniform, especially Girl Guide Uniform. I like nothing better that watching my girl or woman lifting her Guide uniform skirt and showing me her white ribbed legged cotton schoolgirl knickers. Within seconds, my hand is between her legs, playing with her through her knickers till, screaming loudly, she comes in them.
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