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Womens Use Of English Language

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Now this is unfortunately all true, men have paid with their lives for this information. I am feeling obligated to share it
with humanity on Lush - - - - I know that women might resent me giving out their secret, but hey,
what can you do



FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows!)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools of[img][/img].

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not ! faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have of fended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Give me feed back, or add more - - - Let us men crack the womens language code, and make life safer for all of us suffering males - - - - Join me in the revolution on Lush
Lurker
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Quote by chefkathleen
Fine


Oh Crap - - - - one of those Arguments - - - And according to your picture, as you look terrifying Jet sexy at the same time - - - I'm dead
Lurker
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Quote by Posterior


Oh Crap - - - - one of those Arguments - - - And according to your picture, as you look terrifying Jet sexy at the same time - - - I'm dead


Thanks.


Her Royal Spriteness
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That's okay... *evil giggle*

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Active Ink Slinger
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You've got guts man watcch your back lol
Big-haired Bitch
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Thanks a lot.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Lurker
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*backs away slowly* I'm not getting involved, I like my bollocks, thank you. All I'll say (in a whisper) is: women are weird, men are weirder.
Weaver of Words
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Give me 5 minutes.
Lurker
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Loud Sigh
Gingerbread Lover
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Is this one of those annoying things written by a bloke and then emailed to all their blokey friends with a few elements of truth but only based on running-out-the-door observations in pretend fear of what the women will pretend angrily say in return, whilst really hoping it will lead to a bout of wrestling and finally hot sex?

Because if it's not, I need training. I maybe do one or two of those things and none of the rest.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Lurker
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Loud sigh...

How many times have I seen this/been emailed this...

Old, old, old...
Lurker
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Ever notice my Sisters got me right away?
Lurker
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Quote by ramrod32784
You've got guts man watcch your back lol


Thank you man, I just need a bit of excitement in life, so what better way then to piss off some broom flying creatures
Lurker
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Quote by Shylass
Is this one of those annoying things written by a bloke and then emailed to all their blokey friends with a few elements of truth but only based on running-out-the-door observations in pretend fear of what the women will pretend angrily say in return, whilst really hoping it will lead to a bout of wrestling and finally hot sex?

Because if it's not, I need training. I maybe do one or two of those things and none of the rest.


One or TWO - - - that's an understatement if I ever heard one
Lurker
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This is one of those rare times where I'm speaking as both a man and a woman, so before I forget, thanks for giving me that opportunity.

Now, let me ask the following question: "What's your point?" Was there one, or did you just think it was funny?

Next, and this is as a man, what would make you think the rest of us haven't heard all of those things from our father/grandfather/creepy uncle/somebody we know? It's been around forever, and by packaging it up neatly- and loudly, I might add- you're displaying yourself as a kind of guy who needs to be spoken to like that. You're making men sound stupid on purpose, I guess is what I'm saying, and what I'd like to know is, why?

As a woman, I have to say I do none of those things. My girlfriend and I (as well as my past boyfriends and girlfriends) have never interacted on that level except as a joke- and yes, I'm sure it was a joke. The way I know that is through exceptional intrarelational communication skills and a genuine lack of fear when it comes to what my partner has to say.

I wonder if maybe I just missed the point, and it's in fact hysterical. It doesn't really seem like it though. I am usually amused when I turn out to be the villain through total accident though, so in many ways, I hope I am wrong.
Lurker
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Oh yeah.

What was with your "Men have died..." bit?