What I'd like to know is the opinions of non BDSM players about BDSM, even if you've only dabbled in it or if you are in the lifestyle your opinions are still valued. In fact people who are in the lifestyle could maybe tell me about your opinions of it before you started playing.
I like to dabble in some mild BDSM, though I find the more aroused I get, the more pain I can handle. Not really into being tied tightly, though being loosely bound to bedposts or hands overhead is ok. I don't consider myself a domme or a sub, though I can be either in the right circumstances. But that is just here in my fantasies. I have too strong a personality to be a sub IRL, and I have no desire to be a domme there either.
I am a male sub particularly in to being spanked by dominant women. BDSM is certainly interesting. Being dominated by a strict woman is incrediibly erotic.
I have some curiousity about bondage and domination and, like Adele, might dabble in it at some point. However, I am too sensitive to pain (my own and others) for S&M to have any appeal for me beyond maybe a bit of spanking. In the end, I think there's probably certain people (and likely certain personalities) that the lifestyle works for and many more it doesn't. As long as we recognize that and respect that, then all is well.
It's one more adventure to explore in the bedroom.. but to make it a lifestyle is way too much work..
I've lived this long without it I think I can live the rest of my life without it, too. Besides there are so many things that give me pleasure without delving into BDSM, why bother getting into an alternative lifestyle at this late date??? I just don't get it - but rest of you go ahead and have your fun!
We are a lifestyle Dom/sub M/f couple (not married yet but she is collared) and we enjoy the BD part of BDSM. While she enjoys some pain play from spankings/floggings, clamps on her nipples and labia, and being stretched wide open, we don't consider that S&M. What is especially exciting about living the lifestyle is that it affords us so many opportunities and variety so that sex doesn't get stale or boring. And we also love exploring new kinks and teaching what we enjoy to others. It works for us.
We do enjoy some aspects of it, but I don't think we would ever make it a lifestyle. My wife gets a little timid if there's to much aggression. I think have a complete dom/sub relationship would be fun but I'm sure if I would ever give up enough control to enjoy it.
Have nere been into a full blown bdsm, but handcuff, restrained, mild spanking and candel wax. We both liked it.
Like all other forms of sex that are different from my perception as being wonderful fulfilling feels good sort of thing! excites me and makes me wonder what it would be like? for some reason cuckolding excites me and just makes me really have fantasies and erotic thoughts-but in reality i just couldn't live that type of lifestyle!
i'm into light bdsm, being blinddoled, handcuffed, spanking which is fun
Love It I can put 30 clothespins on my penis and ballsack
As a BDSM Master, I find some of these answers quite interesting. I always like discussing the various aspects of the D/s lifestyle and showing others who express an interest in it what it's all about. Many people enjoy it to varying degrees. For Me, it's a wonderful way to live and I don't think I could go back to a "vanilla" relationship again.
Honestly I have never tried true BDSM.
I know a lot of people like it, and make it there way of life.
I might like to try some of it one day.
I have encountered scores of women who are into it, although I have no inherent attraction to the lifestyle. I have dabbled in it just to learn about both sides through experience, and have discovered that subs usually have the real power and are often more clever than their Dom(mes) in subtle ways. I've found that being a Mistress is a hell of a lot of work compared to being a sub/slave. I was soon exhausted being a Mistress, and my slaves seemed to be having all the fun!
I very much dislike giving or receiving any sort of pain or humiliation, other than light spanking in very specific circumstances. Being a secular humanist, I just find the whole BDSM culture to be at odds with my beliefs. Plus, one of my ancestors owned over 40 human beings, the details of which preclude any sort of master/slave roll playing for me. For those who get their jollies that way, have fun but leave me out of it please.
It is what it is. BDSM, is far different than role playing on the net. One cant be one thing for thirty minutes and something else the rest of the day. It's like counting holes in Swiss cheese. It has odor of deceit. If one doesn't use common sense...they become slices of Swiss.
I believe many people who are not in the lifestyle have misconceptions of all that it entails to make it work. Like any relationships you must work at it. In a D/s relationship there is more than most realize. First you must have complete trust... trust in your Master to know how far He/She can push your limits to help you grow as well as trust in your submissive to tell you when it's more than he/she can bear. Communication is a must both D/s must be able to communicate what they need, want, and feel at any given time. People can not read minds and although there is a much greater connection in this lifestyle than any other you still must communicate at all times.
People think this is a Master/slave relationship always and that is only one form of a bdsm relationship. I am by no means a slave to my Master. I have a mind if my own can talk to whomever and be me. He wants me for who I am not what I can change me to be. Does it give me great pleasure to see Him happy, yes. I am His sub and enjoy it very much. Many people in this type of relationship also have an adversion to pain. I myself enjoy a good spanking but not enough to leave me bruised and battered. Are there people who enjoy that, yes many of them. Both giving and receiving. I mostly like the fact that I can come to my Master and be free. Whether in ropes and a blindfold or being held in his arms my mind is free. I can't speak for others but this is what my feelings of bdsm are. As for before I just have always known I was a bit kinkier than others and liked things I didnt know how to talk about. I also always wanted to make my partner happy which in turn gave me pleasure. I don't mean in sex but in life. I am a strong woman I am a mom I've been in the service and dealt with many life struggles. Being submissive doesnt make me weak or needy and honestly it took some great people here to teach me that.
Just like any other relationship...BDSM means different things to different couples, there is no one way. I am in agreement to anything that pleases both legal and consenting partners. What does annoy me are the people that want to take on the dominant role, but lack the knowledge and character to pull off such responsibilities.
i love light bondage and some forms of bdsm.
I am very submissive.
Not like many, I have a lot of sass too. ?
For me, it's beautiful. The love, the full trust I would put in a dominant man, the protection he would give, the attention to just me, the control he would have, my desire to please him, the claiming, belonging to him just as much as he belongs to me. It's something I very much want, I find it really special.
I enjoy the lighter side of bdsm, but only with someone I have a strong bond with. It's all about pleasure for me. I enjoy sensation play, light bondage, spankings, edging play. And mild dominance/submission roles, but only during sex.
Never Violence, Humiliation, or Pain. But please bring on the kink!
I did not know anything about BDSM until I came to Lush and discovered i am a submissive.
I believe what is a lot more common for people is a Dominant/submissive relationship. A sub genera of BDSM, if you will.
Would you call marriage play? A D/s relationship can be like a marriage, and more. It is a way of life. (though, some do only have a sexual D/s relationship)
I am as bound to my Dom as any wife is to her husband. It is not just sexual.
Yes, all sorts of sexual play can be involved, though with a lot less pain than you might think, more often than not.
Before I came to Lush all I thought of in regards to BDSM was all leather and masks and whips and chains and restraints and a lot of pain. Though each of those things can be a part of a D/s relationship, it is not mandatory. My Master is helping me discover what all I like sexually. I trust him implicitly. If I didn't, it would not be a real relationship. It would probably be a abusive relationship.
Our relationship is, I believe, is as loving as you can find.
love the lifestyle been in the lifestyle for awhile now,before I was sure I was a dom I thought I was weird or strange did not think my feeling and urges were normal. I was dating a sub did not know what that was at the time but when I let my urges go with her they seemed to excite her even more and I would go further and further because she would really get into,then one evening she ask me how I have been in the lifestyle.I sai what do you mean ,well she explained ,and as they say the rest is history
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