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She is good looking but...advice please Options · View
Posted: Saturday, September 15, 2012 11:03:27 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/19/2011
Posts: 5
Location: United States
So I recently meet this girl. She is amazing her personality is great. We have a lot of common interests and compatibility in numerous areas. There is only one problem...she isn't the ideal body type that I normally look for in a woman. I don't want to sound shallow about the whole thing. She is beautiful in her own right and she make me smile like nothing else and I really want this to go somewhere but I'm afraid that my ideals of what I like in the body size area might hinder the relationship...would you say that love can over come this and with time I will be able to change my ideas of what I want in a woman and what I want is her. I really do want this to go somewhere. We have both talked about marriage already I just don't want to get into another relationship set up for failure...thanks for the advice
Posted: Saturday, September 15, 2012 11:46:22 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,574
Location: Cakeland, United States
You recently met a girl and you're already talking about marriage?

And you're more concerned she's not the one for you based on her physique? Mmmmkay....d'oh!

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
Posted: Saturday, September 15, 2012 1:35:32 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 722,163
I will say this, aimed at both of you: slow down. Don't rush, get to know each other properly. Rushing will only hurt.

As for the original question, if you really do love her like you think (think, also: do you think you love her or feel you love her, there's quite a difference between thinking and feeling) why does body size matter? If she's happy with it and you're still attracted to her, what's the fuss? Where is the harm in going for someone you fancy, even though she's slightly different to your "usual type"? I say have at it but take it slow and get to really know her. Don't worry about physical presence.
Posted: Saturday, September 15, 2012 4:15:05 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 722,163
I say slow down. I'm in an oddly absolutist mood today, though. You've recently met and you're talking about marriage? I assume you've had some sex then. Probably more than a little, so I guess one valid question is: "Do you enjoy it?".

Also, what exactly is the problem with her "body size"? Are you saying that she's a little outside what you look for, or are you saying she's one fried chicken dinner away from coronary arrest? There's also a lot to the difference between being heavy and being overweight. You can be big and simultaneously healthy, so it really shouldn't be a big deal as long as she's healthy. I think that the relationship is only set up for failure if you frame it that way in your mind. She makes you happy, so all you have to do is make her happy.
Posted: Saturday, September 15, 2012 4:39:51 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,606
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
First off, like everyone else said, slow down. You've just met this chick. If you're rushing things, you're already doomed for failure.

Secondly, I know you don't want to SOUND shallow. But face it, you do. This woman is everything you've said plus more, yet her body type is hindering you from going further? Your ideals are just that, IDEALS. And think of things from her point of view for a second: Are you her ideal mate in every way? If you feel you're settling just because of her body type, think of what she might be settling for when it comes to you. And I hate to be harsh, but if something like her body type is all it takes for you to not want to pursue something deep and meaningful with this woman, then perhaps it's best you move on before she ends up hurt. And it seems like this is really bothering you. Physical attraction is important. If you feel like her body type is something you can't deal with, you should really consider moving on.

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