Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Is cyber sex cheating?

last reply
83 replies
8.9k views
0 watchers
13 likes
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
My husband Roland and I have wondered is cyber sex cheating. I do not think that it is and have told my husband that, however there are some people that I have asked who have said that it is. What are your thoughts?
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
depends... are you upfront about telling your spouse that you're having cyber sex and if so, are they ok with it? if so, then no, it's not cheating. that's my thought - if you're keeping it a secret, hiding it from him, then you're being dishonest and yes, it is cheating.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Green_Man
Primus Omnium
1 like
I say no, my wife says yes. My cybersex partners say no.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
IMO:

If you are committed to another whether married, engaged, or just "going together" and you have any kind of relationship outside of that, it's cheating. Plain and simple. I'm a "dance with the one what brung ya" kinda guy. I have My pet whom I am totally committed to. I have no need nor desire to go outside of our relationship for sex - real or imagined.
Do I fantasize, sure. But most of My fantasies are realized in the one sleeping next to Me.
Ruthie
Empress of the Moon
0 likes
Quote by sprite
depends... are you upfront about telling your spouse that you're having cyber sex and if so, are they ok with it? if so, then no, it's not cheating. that's my thought - if you're keeping it a secret, hiding it from him, then you're being dishonest and yes, it is cheating.


My boyfriend knows that I cyber sometime. He usually doesn't care. Sometimes he watches over my shoulder. If he thinks I'm going to far he asks me to stop, and I do. I'm not supposed to cyber with guys without asking him first, but I have a couple of times when he wasn't home, but I always told him after. It's an easy way for me to get a spanking.

There are secrets in every relationship though. I've cybered with guys who don't want their girlfriends to know about it. And girls, I might add.

What really keeps me from cybering more though is that some guys get too demanding. They want a relationship that I'm not willing to have. I have a relationship already. I'm just on here for fun and games. Quick, dirty fun.
[url]http://[/url]
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
The question should be reformulated. "Is cyber sex without your SO's knowledge and approval cheating?" If the question is formed like that then I will most defientely say yes. If your partner is aware of you doing it and is ok with you doing it then I'd say no.

After all you have swingers and open relationships/marriages. In their eyes they're not cheating, just doing something different. So it all depends on whether your partner is ok with it or not. If they're not ok with it then you're definetely cheating whenever you're having cyber, especially if you don't tell him afterwards(unlike Ruthie who only uses us guys to get a good spanking ).
Milik_the_Red
Internet Philosopher
0 likes
Quote by sprite
depends... are you upfront about telling your spouse that you're having cyber sex and if so, are they ok with it? if so, then no, it's not cheating. that's my thought - if you're keeping it a secret, hiding it from him, then you're being dishonest and yes, it is cheating.


This. Its all about perception. Some people feel masturbation is cheating. My opinion is, if you know that telling your significant other you cyber will piss them off, you are cheating. If they sit and watch you get off while you type, you're not
Guest
Lurker
1 like
if you need to hide it from your lover, its cheating
daylilygardener
Rookie Scribe
1 like
If partner doesn't know, yes it's cheating.
weplay
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
has to be the same as cheating or you would tell your other half, sure you can justify it by saying it's a naughty sexually arousing secret that drives you wild and your partner reaps the benefits but so is fucking strangers in hotels behind your partners back, you see if 1 of the 2 things here get your partner pissed , bet your ass so will the other
margali
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I would question why someone would feel the need to engage in cyber sex behind the back of their significant other. If they are not getting what they need then it's time to open a dialog. If they can't talk with their partner, something is seriously wrong. If it's for some other reason, perhaps they aren't ready for a committed relationship.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Thank you all for your comments. I have been up front with my husband about cyber sex and he loves it when I do have cyber sex.
iamfree527
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
as long you enjoy it it is not cheating , you may also tell your partner if you like ,although i dont tell her
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Na, put it down to having some fun, however, if the respective partner was to find out, it would maybe not be so much fun...
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Personally I think it is cheating.
wjackl
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
Cyber sex is the very worst form of cheating.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
if 2 people are not getting along but stay together for reasons
then no it isnt cheating

if you are happy why would you need to ? would you want your partner to do it on you ?
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
IMO if you are doing something you wouldn't do in front of your partner, then it's cheating.
Shaman
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I don't think so
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
While i don't really consider cyber sex cheating it is still not something that i would feel comfortable with my boyfriend doing it. I also would not feel comfortable doing that while in a committed relationship.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
While i don't really consider cyber sex cheating it is still not something that i would feel comfortable with my boyfriend doing it. I also would not feel comfortable doing that while in a committed relationship.
Guest
Lurker
1 like
Cyber sex, phone sex, in the flesh sex, if you're cumming with someone other than your partner and its not an open relationship AND you're keeping it a secret bc you know it would hurt your partner then YES it is cheating no and ifs or buts about it only excuses.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
I don't see cyber sex as cheating it's a fun thing to explore your sexual life.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by Andrew84
I don't see cyber sex as cheating it's a fun thing to explore your sexual life.

Really?
Would you tell your partner?
Would you mind your partner doing it?
simplyjohn
Site administrator
0 likes
Hmmm … so is masturbation, on ones own, cheating too if you don’t tell your ‘partner’ you do or did that? Just pondering on that really since when people masturbate they think about something or someone that turns them on and that may not be their partner (cheating?). Cybersex over and above the latter is simply some texting in addition isn’t it albeit there is another real person at the end of the ‘wire’?
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by simplyjohn
Hmmm … so is masturbation, on ones own, cheating too if you don’t tell your ‘partner’ you do or did that? Just pondering on that really since when people masturbate they think about something or someone that turns them on and that may not be their partner (cheating?). Cybersex over and above the latter is simply some texting in addition isn’t it albeit there is another real person at the end of the ‘wire’?

That's the whole point, there's a real person that's connecting with you.
I wouldn't be bothered if a partner was watching porn and masturbating bv I would if they were cybering. It's a personal thing if 2 people are on each end of a line.
simplyjohn
Site administrator
0 likes
Quote by dpw

That's the whole point, there's a real person that's connecting with you.
I wouldn't be bothered if a partner was watching porn and masturbating bv I would if they were cybering. It's a personal thing if 2 people are on each end of a line.


Yes yes yes I know but what Im struggling with here is why is it cheating when its fine to masturbate on ones own thinking of someone other than ones partner but cheating when there is someone at the end of a 'wire' whom I am assuming one has never met, never seen a photo of, never physically touched, never spoken to and who is to say there is a connection between them?. I appreciate that there is a line somewhere between cheating and not cheating and where that line is is going to be a matter of opinion for everyone in this case.

A further thought then .. I webcam with a professional model on one of the 1000's of sites that one can do this on now .. is that cheating then since there is a real person both ends?
seveninch
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Wife has no problem with me masturbating to porn pics vids whatever, but she does not like when I engage in phone sex because it is a "real" person on the other end.
I guess it's the actual immediate interaction vs. the static "deadness" of porn (i.e. I cannot interact with the porn material).
So...I just started having phone sex with my wife! :P ha!
BelleduJour
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by SummerKiss
Cyber sex, phone sex, in the flesh sex, if you're cumming with someone other than your partner and its not an open relationship AND you're keeping it a secret bc you know it would hurt your partner then YES it is cheating no and ifs or buts about it only excuses.


Agreed.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Yes if you are in a committed relationship then as far as im concerned you should be faithful, unless its as summer and belle say its an open relationship and both partners have agreed to it in advance.