I have this sex guide titled "I'll have what she is having" it was published by Australian's womens magazine Cleo.
I read the chapter of "Faking Orgasms".
Got me thinking "Does anyone one else out there fake their orgasms? and if so for what reasons?"
I am putting my hand up and saying YES I have.
It has happened before, especially when I know Mr Sweets tries to pay me attention and my body is enjoying it but my mental side is bored.
Or Mr Sweets wants to get it on and I mentally already bored. So I turn on my Porno Queen diva inside and just slow my breathing put out a few moans, tell him what a king stud he is and he comes and he is happy, I'm happy and we have a wonderful day or night.
"Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken."
Simone de Beauvoir
I have... Sometimes, I know that I an just not going to orgasm, be it mentally distracted, exhausted, whatever... I know he won't stop until I cum, so I fake it. I know I shouldn't, but there are times he has been so disappointed and I don't want that. Especially, because its not him and I can't explain why it happens.
My question is, can a guy tell when we fake it?
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner
There'd be no point trying to fake an orgasm with my BF - he knows me too well... but more importantly, there's no need. He isn't blinkered to the porn-view that sex is purely driven by the need to achieve orgasm(s). Sex for us is about making a connection with that special someone.
As someone who's actually been on both sides of this one, I may have some insight.
If a man (or woman) - let's just say your 'partner' is observant they might be able to tell that you're faking, and that doesn't make us feel good at all. I think if explained to most people that for whatever reason, you just aren't going to cum right then (that evening, weekend, whatever), then it's a much better approach, but I understand the urge to please your partner's desired to please you.
I have certainly done it myself from time to time. Those of you who know my posts or profile may be gasping and exclaiming "Surely not!". Yes, For those of you who don't know, I'm MTF trans, but non-operative bio-male, and while I am biologically male, but there are two things to keep in mind here. The first is that orgasms are not necessarily the most important part of sex for me and I don't always cum, in much more the same way women tend not to than anything else. My orgasm is about seventy or eighty percent psychological. The second thing is that men can indeed fake an orgasm. I like to burst that bubble every now and then. Ever had a guy "orgasm" and just not cum that much? It works best in a condom, but it's not the only way.
I mention this because while I think in a relationship it's generally bad news to fake orgasms, sometimes a one night stand goes on too long, and you just know that you aren't the only one who's bored. It's unfortunate but occasionally necessary. My opinion in general is that once a relationship is committed in any way, there should be no more faking. Education is the way to go. That isn't to say I'm judging those who do it (too harshly, at least), it just seems like a waste of everybody's time and energy to me. I'm sure I don't understand it fully, though.
I've probably faked one or two but not often.. I usually am to into it to want to fake it. I'm not going to fake an orgasm to rub his ego or anything like that. That is insulting.
I have though, faked it while cybering. Or I use too. Now I have tell people from the get go. As much as I like to "Cyber" I don't get anything out of it. I don't sit there and play with myself while I'm cybering. It's just not my style.. I rather voice it.. To me that is really hot.
I was thinking of the movie you have mail--I grant you its been done but wtf it happens--us guys sure as hell cant fake it!!
Yeah, I have on rare occasion. It's very situational though. Some guys can't handle the idea of not making a woman orgasm. They take it like a personal challenge "I will make you come if it's the last thing I do!" and the sex goes on and on. I fooled around with a guy at a house party once and crashed in his bed. I just wanted to sleep, but he wanted to demo his skills as an oral sex god. Unfortunately he was pretty clueless when it came to pleasuring the pussy. I had to fake my way through SIX orgasms before he would leave me alone that night and heard him bragging to his friends about it the next day. Yes, I should have just said "sorry, ain't happening" but we were drunk and the hook up was random and I was young.
Sometimes you're just not going to come - especially if it's after a long party night or if you're just not that into the guy or it's a new partner that is clueless about what he's doing (ie. college days), it's had it's uses as an easy-out.
I wouldn't do it with a relationship-guy though or someone I was seeing regularly - I think you're setting yourself up for long-term failure if you do.
Faking an orgasm is like telling a white lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings. I've done it when I wanted a guy to hurry up and come too, because I was getting sore or just not enjoying it.
[url]http://[/url]
Perhaps it's down to how much we are willing to cede to keep our lover happy about a false thing, rather than let them know how happy we are about the many other things they gave us to enjoy?
