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The real reason why girls don't voice chat/voice message with online programs?

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Rookie Scribe
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Allow me to add some context before I pose my questions please.

I'm new to actually being a participant in Lush and to the type of site that it is, but not to sharing intimate ideas, experiences, and fantasies. In the past, I've done that with females after i've already met them in person through everyday activities. So, the sharing has been done over the phone, msn/ voice messages, and even via text. I have found that naughty sharing via voice (either messages or real time) is much more interesting, intimate, and powerful than by typing. The girls all agree.

So, my questions are:
1. Why is their no voice messaging built into lush? Is it just a matter of bandwidth cost?
2. Why are girls online who enjoy naughty typing, so reluctant to voice chat/voice message via programs like msn/ ?

I get that people are, and should be, reluctant to give out phone numbers (don't do it!), but with the ability to easily block/delete people, and to remain anonymous, why not use or msn, etc? Actually, I feel a lot safer after I hear someones voice as it lets me know who i'm dealing with better.

Answers appreciated. Thanks.
Lurker
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I won't voice chat or cam with anyone from lush because that part of me is something I'm not willing to share here. Once I know someone fairly well (as well as you can know them here) I don't mind sharing a picture. Twice, I have had a voice conversation with someone here, but only because I had been 'chatting' with them for a few months, I felt comfortable enough to do so and there was no cam.

This isn't my 'real life', it's fantasy.. If people are a part of my real life they get to speak to, and see the real me. In a fantasy world, I don't want to share ALL of me.
Rookie Scribe
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Quote by Trinket
This isn't my 'real life', it's fantasy.. If people are a part of my real life they get to speak to, and see the real me. In a fantasy world, I don't want to share ALL of me.


You have an interesting view that I hadn't thought of before: "Typing is fantasy, voice chatting is real." So, a voice makes the other person more real/too real? I guess I can see that continuum.

I wonder if this helps reduce the potential anxiety some females (not suggesting you) may feel about participating on Lush; if it's "fantasy," it's not cheating, or it's not really promiscuous, etc?
Active Ink Slinger
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In principal I don't have a problem with voice chating to a well established friend on here, but the problem is a practical one.

Lush is my secret, I will often be type chatting on-line when others are in the house, so silence is needed......
Active Ink Slinger
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In principal I don't have a problem with voice chating to a well established friend on here, but the problem is a practical one.

Lush is my secret, I will often be type chatting on-line when others are in the house, so silence is needed......
Active Ink Slinger
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Although I have a big mouth....I'm just shy/ insecure...english is not my 1th language so the 'risk' that i sound funny or stumble over my own words is a bit too high hahaha...
But I like to try it out one day with 1 person I have on my mind ;).
I have tried to fix the microphone on my laptop, but I also can't get it working, so I guess it's just fine for this moment....

And I prefer to chat (without camming) by , lush freezez so often....
Lurker
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Quote by molotov


You have an interesting view that I hadn't thought of before: "Typing is fantasy, voice chatting is real." So, a voice makes the other person more real/too real? I guess I can see that continuum.

I wonder if this helps reduce the potential anxiety some females (not suggesting you) may feel about participating on Lush; if it's "fantasy," it's not cheating, or it's not really promiscuous, etc?



It's not that a voice chat makes the other person real or too real, it's how it makes ME feel, that I'm giving too much of myself to the person behind the screen. There is already the potential to become too attached to people here on lush so personally, I don't want to increase the chances of that happening to me by trading too much personal information, if that makes sense.
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Quote by Trinket



It's not that a voice chat makes the other person real or too real, it's how it makes ME feel, that I'm giving too much of myself to the person behind the screen. There is already the potential to become too attached to people here on lush so personally, I don't want to increase the chances of that happening to me by trading too much personal information, if that makes sense.



So was it out of your comfort zone when you mailed me those frilly panties, with a return address and your Skype information?
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Active Ink Slinger
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Most women don't like moving on to or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on

I know of many women on here who have pretty much felt forced on to to "prove that they are women" - of course once they do the pressure moves on to appearing on cam. Once women do this once they become more and more reluctant to voice chat with anyone - especially with some one they've only just met.

If you want to talk to women on voice or phone you need to develop trust. That requires a lot of work and women want to know if you're willing to put that work in
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

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Lurker
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Quote by Dudealicious



So was it out of your comfort zone when you mailed me those frilly panties, with a return address and your Skype information?



I've got news for you buddy and it's all bad. Those frilly's didn't come from me..... and the Skype info was fake..... It seems you didn't really want to talk to me at all or you would have known that by now........
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by overmykneenow
Most women don't like moving on to or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on


Perfectly said biggrin
Unicorn Wrangler
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My reason is practical... my husband doesn't mind my writing erotica or chatting... but if he heard me talk dirty with someone, it would cause a problem in my marriage. Even though he benefits from my arousal from typing, having to hear me talk with another person about sex, sex acts, etc., would upset him.

When I was single... it was different. Now that I'm married... I won't voice chat. I've been asked before... I explain my "why" and if someone doesn't understand or respect it then that's their loss.

Actually, I'm glad Lush doesn't have that and if I were to want to voice chat... which as I stated earlier... I don't... I will use a program like Skype or Yahoo Messenger for that.
Alpha Blonde
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I'm guessing most women aren't into the chatroulette type of scene here. As others have said, it takes a while to build trust and even enough of a level of interest to take things to phone/ /cam.

It's far less effort to type... you can multi-task, have natural pauses and little breaks, you have shorter convos and you can end things quickly and conveniently. Once you're talking live or on cam you're kind of 'in the box' with the person which makes it much more real and intimate and often comes with the underlying pressure of phone sex or cam reveals.

I've done it before but the connection has to be compelling and the attraction has to be pre-existing. It all goes in stages, right? A basic stranger saying "hey let's and get to know each other" is probably going to hit a brick wall pretty often on this site basically because most people aren't going to go that effort for a faceless stranger on the internet that they're not even that into.
CurlyFries
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Quote by overmykneenow
Most women don't like moving on to or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on

I know of many women on here who have pretty much felt forced on to to "prove that they are women" - of course once they do the pressure moves on to appearing on cam. Once women do this once they become more and more reluctant to voice chat with anyone - especially with some one they've only just met.

If you want to talk to women on voice or phone you need to develop trust. That requires a lot of work and women want to know if you're willing to put that work in



This
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by overmykneenow
Most women don't like moving on to or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on



Quote by CurlyGirly


This


I totally agree with CG.

Also for me, I am at work a lot of the time I am on Lush so even if I wanted to Skype, it would not be practical!!
Rookie Scribe
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Quote by overmykneenow
Most women don't like moving on to or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on


Wow. There is always one in every crowd. This post wasn't about challenging women for their choices or wanting them to change (until it was hijacked by a troll); it's simply (but not simple enough for some, I see) a curiosity-based, non-challenging question about the mindset of females and the choices they make.

"Move on," you say? From what? From intellectually curiosity about women? From wanting to hear their opinions and rationalizations? I think I shall not as this is the essence of discourse. But as you appear to be a man posting his unsolicited views in the "Ask Gals" forum, you would do well to take your own flippant advice. And please, for the love of god, put a shirt on that rug.

Thanks for the responses from the females who actually read the OP carefully, and thoughtfully answered.
Rookie Scribe
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Quote by lucybabee


Perfectly said biggrin


Actually, no, it isn't. It completely misses the point of the OP, and adds nothing of value.
Rookie Scribe
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Quote by girlsetfree
In principal I don't have a problem with voice chating to a well established friend on here, but the problem is a practical one.

Lush is my secret, I will often be type chatting on-line when others are in the house, so silence is needed......


Interesting. There is a good story in there somewhere....
Rookie Scribe
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Quote by Naughty_Nurse
Although I have a big mouth....I'm just shy/ insecure...english is not my 1th language so the 'risk' that i sound funny or stumble over my own words is a bit too high hahaha...


No worries, even native English speakers stumble. During pillow talk, one time, I remember mistakenly switching the first letters of the keywords I was trying to say as I I told my gf, "I want to nick your lipples."
She was confused.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by molotov


Wow. There is always one in every crowd. This post wasn't about challenging women for their choices or wanting them to change (until it was hijacked by a troll); it's simply (but not simple enough for some, I see) a curiosity-based, non-challenging question about the mindset of females and the choices they make.

"Move on," you say? From what? From intellectually curiosity about women? From wanting to hear their opinions and rationalizations? I think I shall not as this is the essence of discourse. But as you appear to be a man posting his unsolicited views in the "Ask Gals" forum, you would do well to take your own flippant advice. And please, for the love of god, put a shirt on that rug.

Thanks for the responses from the females who actually read the OP carefully, and thoughtfully answered.


Welcome to Lush forums, you might want to read the guidelines. Nowhere does it say that "Ask the girls" or "Ask the guys" are limited to replies from the gender concerned.

What most forum regulars understand is that most new users posting on the "ask the girls" forum are simply men looking to generate a list of willing victims for their own particular fetish. Credit the ladies of Lush with some intelligence; no matter how florid you put it, the reason you like voice chat is that it keeps your hands free to tug on your dick while you whisper sweet nothings. Women can multi-task.

When I reply to a post like this it's to share my knowledge and experience. You obviously see that as worthless - which is your right. However, when I write a forum post it shows up in the timelines of over 150 Lush ladies - some of which are nosey enough to find out what I've said, some of them will contribute to the discussion themselves.

When you, or any man who posts in this section of the forum, cries "no men" - it shouts out that you're demanding attention and scared of anyone that could distract it. This is also why you like voice - it's far more difficult for the object of temporary affections to be chatting with someone else.

"Intellectual curiosity"? Seriously? Most intelligent women here prefer text based communication because it gets in their head, not just their panties.

You're new to the forum and new to interacting with people on Lush. We all make mistakes - it only becomes a problem when we repeat them.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Clever Gem
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Quote by overmykneenow


Welcome to Lush forums, you might want to read the guidelines. Nowhere does it say that "Ask the girls" or "Ask the guys" are limited to replies from the gender concerned.

What most forum regulars understand is that most new users posting on the "ask the girls" forum are simply men looking to generate a list of willing victims for their own particular fetish. Credit the ladies of Lush with some intelligence; no matter how florid you put it, the reason you like voice chat is that it keeps your hands free to tug on your dick while you whisper sweet nothings. Women can multi-task.

When I reply to a post like this it's to share my knowledge and experience. You obviously see that as worthless - which is your right. However, when I write a forum post it shows up in the timelines of over 150 Lush ladies - some of which are nosey enough to find out what I've said, some of them will contribute to the discussion themselves.

When you, or any man who posts in this section of the forum, cries "no men" - it shouts out that you're demanding attention and scared of anyone that could distract it. This is also why you like voice - it's far more difficult for the object of temporary affections to be chatting with someone else.

"Intellectual curiosity"? Seriously? Most intelligent women here prefer text based communication because it gets in their head, not just their panties.

You're new to the forum and new to interacting with people on Lush. We all make mistakes - it only becomes a problem when we repeat them.





OMKN!!! Don't you dare cover that rug with a shirt!

I've pm'd my name, I'll be ready in about 20 minutes , then i'll really show you how well i can multitask ok xx
Lurker
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I've seen OMKN here so often I thought he WAS one of the gals

He gives some good advice though, even if he is a man....
The rug? I think they are back in fashion aren't they? I'm certain there is no rule that says we should all wear a shirt, if there is then nobody told me
Gingerbread Lover
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Quote by molotov
Allow me to add some context before I pose my questions please.

I'm new to actually being a participant in Lush and to the type of site that it is, but not to sharing intimate ideas, experiences, and fantasies. In the past, I've done that with females after i've already met them in person through everyday activities. So, the sharing has been done over the phone, msn/ voice messages, and even via text. I have found that naughty sharing via voice (either messages or real time) is much more interesting, intimate, and powerful than by typing. The girls all agree.

So, my questions are:
1. Why is their no voice messaging built into lush? Is it just a matter of bandwidth cost?
2. Why are girls online who enjoy naughty typing, so reluctant to voice chat/voice message via programs like msn/ ?

I get that people are, and should be, reluctant to give out phone numbers (don't do it!), but with the ability to easily block/delete people, and to remain anonymous, why not use or msn, etc? Actually, I feel a lot safer after I hear someones voice as it lets me know who i'm dealing with better.

Answers appreciated. Thanks.


Welcome!

There is no voice messaging on Lush because it began as a story site. Chat and what is known as "black boxing" and personal chat are added extras (currently not working properly at all times, but being fixed as quickly as possible). There has been talk of new, exciting developments in 2013, so stick around. I believe video chat might have been mentioned at one point, too...

As to why I won't voice chat, I'm horribly shy. I stumble over my words, get so nervous I either can't shut up, or can't say anything at all. I just don't feel safe. I don't even talk to family and real life friends on the phone if I can help it.

I voice chat with four people only, and then only sometimes. They are very close, dearly valued friends who I trust not to laugh at me for my foibles and idiocy. There are a couple of other friends I would love to talk to, but I haven't found the courage.

I wouldn't want to give my details out to some stranger with whom I'm going to share orgasm time with. I don't do that, it's not something I am comfortable with doing. I am very private about many things, and I need my space. If I ever did it, it would be with somebody I felt owned a piece of my soul. And I hate giving up pieces of my soul, because they get trodden on.

And finally, being rude about somebody's avatar is not very kind. There are hundreds of women who want to get into that particular member's underwear because of it, I hear. Kind, strong people always fare best on Lush. They are man or woman enough to know what they want, not be fazed when they don't get it, and react positively in the face of getting the opposite of what they hoped for.

Oh, and for a member to agree with another member's point of view is just as valid as if they had said it themselves. It does add value, because it shows shared opinion without repeating something in different wording. You don't have to agree, but this is a forum; it's what it's for.

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

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Clever Gem
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Quote by Shylass


Welcome!

There is no voice messaging on Lush because it began as a story site. Chat and what is known as "black boxing" and personal chat are added extras (currently not working properly at all times, but being fixed as quickly as possible). There has been talk of new, exciting developments in 2013, so stick around. I believe video chat might have been mentioned at one point, too...

As to why I won't voice chat, I'm horribly shy. I stumble over my words, get so nervous I either can't shut up, or can't say anything at all. I just don't feel safe. I don't even talk to family and real life friends on the phone if I can help it.

I voice chat with four people only, and then only sometimes. They are very close, dearly valued friends who I trust not to laugh at me for my foibles and idiocy. There are a couple of other friends I would love to talk to, but I haven't found the courage.

I wouldn't want to give my details out to some stranger with whom I'm going to share orgasm time with. I don't do that, it's not something I am comfortable with doing. I am very private about many things, and I need my space. If I ever did it, it would be with somebody I felt owned a piece of my soul. And I hate giving up pieces of my soul, because they get trodden on.

And finally, being rude about somebody's avatar is not very kind. There are hundreds of women who want to get into that particular member's underwear because of it, I hear. Kind, strong people always fare best on Lush. They are man or woman enough to know what they want, not be fazed when they don't get it, and react positively in the face of getting the opposite of what they hoped for.

Oh, and for a member to agree with another member's point of view is just as valid as if they had said it themselves. It does add value, because it shows shared opinion without repeating something in different wording. You don't have to agree, but this is a forum; it's what it's for.







Well said Missy!! (but i swear you laughed at my accent down the phone hahaha )
Mazztastic
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Quote by crazydiamond


Well said Missy!! (but i swear you laughed at my accent down the phone hahaha )


You have a lovely voice!!! Rrrrr
Clever Gem
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Quote by Mazza


You have a lovely voice!!! Rrrrr


Shush! ya big Scottish tease!! (i kinda like your twang too ) x
Lurker
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For me...I enjoy voice chat or video chat but I will only do it with someone I have gotten to know on lush and that I feel is a gentleman. I hate it when someone i have never type chatted with asks me to because to me that is too much too soon. And believe it or not there are some very nice men on lush. Not all of them are assholes. Another reason I am particular about who i video chat with is because I am a plus size woman and not all men like that....the last thing I need is a man that will ridicule me because of my weight.
CurlyFries
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Quote by Nikki703


I totally agree with CG.

Also for me, I am at work a lot of the time I am on Lush so even if I wanted to Skype, it would not be practical!!


Seriously, what kind of job do you have? You can't go to work naked, and they won't let you sex up some random guy on Skype? *Sheesh* I think you might have to find a new gig, Toots!!



I love when guys post in Ask the Gals, because they're usually the most interesting/entertaining posts.