Hi, I have been wondering about something for some months now. Well, earlier this spring I fell headfirst in love with guy from my "circle of friends". That is to say, we were not best friends, but friends none the less. I was really hit hard. In summer I told him. But I was so affraid of rejection, that I made it sound as if I no longer had feelings for him and was only trying to erase some sort of tension on my part. Of course he said no.
Now, he's the most intelligent teen I've ever met. He play classical instruments and even compose. I guess that's part of why i fell for him. We have a friend - a girl, who want him to be gay, because she wants a gay friend. He get really aggitated and keeps saying he is not. Or is he?
He told me he could not be in a relationship as he was complete "married" to his music ambitions. He said that as a result he's never been with anyone. Now, what I'd like to ask, is that natural? I mean he's not being forced by fis parent, who know nothing of music. It's voluntary - all on his own? I'm not asking: Why didn't he want me. I'm asking: I he telling the truth or is it something else? Like sexual confusion/fear or something?
Kisses LPF
I am not sure what the answer is to be honest.
I suspect he is genuine in what he says, but does not yet fully understand the urges of the heart / mind / groin.
I am not sure it will benefit him in the end either, after all without love, romance or sexual desire much of the world's greatest music would never have been written. To make music of any sort requires your soul to be in it, and i suspect a soul without love, will be a soul that makes dire music.
I am sure when the time is right for him, he will find his thoughts changing
I cannot I get artists, but if I treat him like the next (straight) guy, I would have to say that him being married to his music is just a petty (and in my mind silly) excuse for the fact that he hasn't had sex yet when put under peer pressure.
As to him saying no, I'm sorry I have to say this, but it's possible that he just isn't into you... I know I've come up with a couple of weird excuses over the years to let down smoothly friends that were romantically interested in me while I wasn't.
Then again... he might actually be gay and is afraid of being judged by everyone if he admits to it... like I said before... I cannot get artists... I'm a logical person, they'mostly aren't lol
Not knowing this young man, it's hard to come to any opinion about him. But being a musician myself, I can say that I've seen several young men and women who are so focused on their music, they have little time for anything else.
I think it just means he hasn't met the right person yet, male or female. Once you meet that person the I love my work more than being in a relationship thing will become obsolete.
