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WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, January 11, 2011 3:47:41 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,781
Location: Cakeland, United States


Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, January 11, 2011 4:53:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
This is Cute!!!!!!!
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 16, 2011 3:05:49 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
DirtyMartini
Posted: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 6:14:47 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,903
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Don't know if any of these have posted before, but someone sent them to me today...










You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 6:24:42 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
anastasia wrote:


This is So Cute!!! ,, I like Dogs more than most people.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 11:11:43 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,781
Location: Cakeland, United States


I think Kitty hates more than just JB.

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 11:33:22 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
My spoiled brat

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 5:27:57 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
Guest
Posted: Friday, January 21, 2011 6:37:20 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
Guest
Posted: Friday, January 21, 2011 6:42:02 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, January 25, 2011 6:32:07 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216



BudIce & Friends.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 5, 2011 4:30:00 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
amber
Posted: Wednesday, February 16, 2011 11:02:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/24/2010
Posts: 504
Location: New Mexico
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 8:28:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
LovelyLexieGurl
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 8:50:02 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/13/2010
Posts: 20
Location: Somewhere
Batman wrote:
For the 3 that seem to 'love CATS' - - - S, Z & T




We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.




Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.'

'You know where the button is,' I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. 'Reset it yourself!'

'But I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts going and sucks me in?'

There was a meaningful pause and then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

'What's the matter?' They all asked, 'Cat got your tongue?'





Why is it that only the women laugh at this?


Bat


OMG.... thats sad...but I can't help laughing either.. *snickers*
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 1, 2011 4:32:24 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, March 2, 2011 5:16:53 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, March 2, 2011 5:56:26 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
This is cute.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, March 3, 2011 1:19:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
Loved the eyes! LOL
WickedShads
Posted: Monday, March 14, 2011 9:54:38 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/26/2009
Posts: 1,195
Location: Pennsylvania, United States


"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
LovelyLexieGurl
Posted: Monday, March 14, 2011 1:36:20 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/13/2010
Posts: 20
Location: Somewhere
Well, I was going to post some funnies of my own, but for some reason it isnt working. Do I not have enough posts or something? :(
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 14, 2011 3:26:51 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
Not if they're pictures. Just wait a bit. Once you hit 25 you should be good to go!
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 5:14:30 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,781
Location: Cakeland, United States


Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
nicola
Posted: Thursday, March 17, 2011 5:35:43 PM

Rank: Matriarch
Moderator

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 27,530
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2011 10:22:57 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
fish1212
Posted: Wednesday, April 6, 2011 10:55:45 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 231
Location: at sea



The last word

Guest
Posted: Monday, April 11, 2011 7:08:22 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, April 24, 2011 11:48:17 AM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,781
Location: Cakeland, United States


Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, April 24, 2011 5:21:51 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
That made me laugh out loud. Good find.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 7, 2011 6:24:33 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 781,216
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