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turning down your husband/partner for sex, what is the meaning of it?

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Active Ink Slinger
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Lurker
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Obviously it would mean I don't want to have sex.
Internet Philosopher
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It can be a perfectly reasonable denial based on a temporary lack of interest, health or transitory emotional state. At any specific time, no one is obligated to provide sexual favors to anyone, including a spouse.
That said, long term denial without a very good reason will possibly be interpreted that one no longer shares an intimate desire for a loved one. In that case, the existence of the relationship puts that person in a position of celibacy that they may not wish to live with. Obviously, this is highly damaging to a relationship.
If one simply lacks desire, one should communicate this in depth with their significant other and seek a solution, else they risk losing that relationship
Story Verifier
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Maybe she is wanting to be tied to the bed and plied with lots of foreplay until she can't say 'No' anymore............
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Active Ink Slinger
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never did not once in my marriage..he turned me down...

and that is what ended my marriage

once in awhile is so understandable but a constant no means...you lost that loving feeling

and saying no to sex all the time is the same as saying no to love....

to me men and women who deny sex in a partnership all the time break the vows as much as cheaters
Active Ink Slinger
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I love sex as much as anyone and much more than most. But there are times you just are not in the mood. Either you are tired, you are not feeling well, other things on your mind, etc. It has nothing to do with your partner at all. Now I must admit those times are few and far between but it does happen. If you have a good relationship, your partner will understand.

Now if it is a regular occurance then you have a problem!!
Lurker
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Quote by Dudealicious


No shit, really?



Yes, really..... have you never experienced this phenomenom? >_<
Internet Philosopher
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Quote by Willow



Yes, really..... have you never experienced this phenomenom? >_<

Of not wanting sex? Um, there are times I'm less than horny, but if my lady was, I'd be more than willing to lend a hand, finger or tongue
Cheeky Chick
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If you mean once in a while someone might not be in the mood at the same time as the other, even if married. That tends to happen. But I have never grasped denying my boyfriend. I’ve not been married but have been in a 5 year live in relationship. I never once denied him. I don’t see the point. I enjoy having sex and wouldn’t do it to be mean, deny him or hang it over him as some sort of control thing. I don’t do that, I don’t like when women do that.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by blazestcyr
never did not once in my marriage..he turned me down...

and that is what ended my marriage

once in awhile is so understandable but a constant no means...you lost that loving feeling

and saying no to sex all the time is the same as saying no to love....

to me men and women who deny sex in a partnership all the time break the vows as much as cheaters


Wow! Sounds like Blazestcyr and I have something in common. Hurts like a son-of-a-bitch, doesn't it? His loss
Active Ink Slinger
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I've been married a long time, 24 years. Naturally, there have been occasions where I have turned him down and vice versa. It means nothing. We are best friends first, and sexual partners second - that's why it's worked.

Still fancy the pants off him though!
Active Ink Slinger
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I know I must have at one time or another, but I can not remember when that was!

Most think I am the always ready girl
Active Ink Slinger
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I turn down Mr Sweets if I'm not physically in the mood or emotionally interested. There is times when I'm not interested. And he has turned my advances down at times also. It's human nature.
"Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken."

Simone de Beauvoir
Active Ink Slinger
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In the eight years we've been together, I've never turned my husband down. I couldn't even imagine it.
Lurker
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Quote by gollum
turning down your husband/partner for sex, what is the meaning of it?


Afraid it means that your precious bits aren't as precious as you thought.....

Come on, how could you not see a reply like that show up from someone in here?
Big-haired Bitch
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There's only a deeper meaning when it's recurring, as others have stated before me. Sometimes, we're just not in the mood. It could be because we're stressed out, upset, not feeling well, etc. There's a myriad of reasons, and this shouldn't be taken personally.

However, I will admit that some women use sex to control, which is very vindictive, in my opinion. If this is what you were really hinting at, perhaps you should ask this question specifically. I'd love to see the answers.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Lurker
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Sometimes they just cannot be bothered.
Active Ink Slinger
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I'm utterly exhausted, or ill, or really upset about something, or so stressed out I can't relax enough to enjoy it or even to fully participate. Those are the only reasons I've ever turned him down.
Lurker
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Generally because I'm either annoyed at him or because I can't be bothered.
Lurker
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My wife regularly turns me down. I'm always up for sex, but she never seems in the mood. I can't even remember the last time she instigated sex. She always claims that I have to woo her, but that leaves it all to me, shouldn't sex in a relationship be a two way deal? It hurts when she rejects me, at least it feels like a rejection, she barely even lets me kiss her.

I've tried to raise this issue in the past, but nothing really changed. I love her to bits, but the constant rejection really gets me down at times. She seems to lack confidence in her body, which btw is fantastic, and I figure this may have something to do with her lack of sex drive.

Anyone got any thoughts on this?
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by silverfox55
My wife regularly turns me down. I'm always up for sex, but she never seems in the mood. I can't even remember the last time she instigated sex. She always claims that I have to woo her, but that leaves it all to me, shouldn't sex in a relationship be a two way deal? It hurts when she rejects me, at least it feels like a rejection, she barely even lets me kiss her.

I've tried to raise this issue in the past, but nothing really changed. I love her to bits, but the constant rejection really gets me down at times. She seems to lack confidence in her body, which btw is fantastic, and I figure this may have something to do with her lack of sex drive.

Anyone got any thoughts on this?



... What he said... My reply is "Life's a bitch sometimes" when you can't even begin to figure out the problem. I can certainly empathize with you on this score.

Rick
Active Ink Slinger
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I get very stressed with school and stuff sometimes, but really can't think of one time I have pushed her lips away or hand or other lips. ok i'll stop Then I am just turning 20 and seems always ready.
Active Ink Slinger
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My husband hasn't touched me in 15 years
Active Ink Slinger
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Second wife witheld sex for a year, when I asked for a divorce, she then tried real hard to have sex. First wife got a boyfriend while I was deployed, so I went a year without ot then as well.
Active Ink Slinger
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It means he's been mean and cruel and there's no WAY
Active Ink Slinger
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Hubby "lets see. its cricket season....no wait is rugby season....oh wait i have a wife?"

Its not always the woman doing the turning down.
Active Ink Slinger
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In my life it has. Oh wait there was the time when I had spinal surgery
Active Ink Slinger
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I think they only time I turned down sex was after my surgery or when I'm in immense pain. Not being turned on isn't a reason for me, kissing and touching will eventually get me there.
You seem sweet, mind if I lick you to make sure?
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by silverfox55
She seems to lack confidence in her body, which btw is fantastic, and I figure this may have something to do with her lack of sex drive.


That could very well be part of it.
Other possibilities are hormone imbalance, socio-religious issues, past trama, and certain meds, particularly anti-depressants ... They don't call it "No-zack" for nothing