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Laney
Posted: Friday, January 25, 2013 10:01:18 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/25/2013
Posts: 3
Location: Canada
So heres my situation:
I am currently in a real life relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years. I love him very dearly. We have both been experimenting with the BDSM lifestyle for awhile now and were getting pretty into it. I am pretty satisfied with our sex life. However, I find myself craving something else, not instead of what we have now but in addition to it. I really, really want a mistress. Because we are both relatively new to the lifestyle I want a domme whos a little more experienced. also, being bisexual the idea of a dominant women excites me. I feel like an online thing might be a good way to explore this. My partner and I have very good communication between us and were pretty open but this is still a subject I'm afraid to broach...I wouldnt feel right doing anything behind his back....but I feel like if I don't do something about this then it will always be the unfulfilled fantasy in the back of my head that I keep to myself for fear of alienating the person I love....

Any random thoughts or advice?
Divya13
Posted: Friday, January 25, 2013 11:02:49 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/25/2013
Posts: 1
Hey
Laney
Posted: Friday, January 25, 2013 11:05:46 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/25/2013
Posts: 3
Location: Canada
Hello. I notice you're also new to Lush...Any thoughts/ideas on my current predicament?
Dani
Posted: Saturday, January 26, 2013 12:09:29 AM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 6,262
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
Well if the lines of communication between you and the boyfriend are as strong as you say, then there's no reason you can't present this idea to him and at least get some input from him. I'm not involved in the BDSM lifestyle, but your situation seems understandable enough regardless of the whole BDSM thing. You don't wanna do anything behind his back that could jeopardize your relationship. And as you've stated, you guys are pretty open sexually. Who knows? The idea of you having a mistress may excite him, and you'll get that extra something you desire. But the important thing to do is TALK TO HIM. No need going behind his back...that's never a solution. The worst he can do is say no, after all, and you guys can come up with an alternative if that's the case. I'm sure it'll work out.


"Bitch, who asked you?" - A Bitch Who Didn't Ask You

Laney
Posted: Saturday, January 26, 2013 12:24:22 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/25/2013
Posts: 3
Location: Canada
Thanks! That's great advice. The main reason its so nerve racking for me is because up until this point monogamy has been very important to both of us. I find that I'm starting to move beyond that in a lot of ways. I'm secure enough in our relationship that I'm no longer threatened by the idea of us pursuing pleasure/gratification with other people. In fact I feel that if you love someone it would make sense for you to want them to pursue and experience that. And it hadn't really occurred to me that he might be excited by that.Who knows maybe it's something we could even do together... I guess all I can do is buck up and tell him how I feel and hope he understands. Thanks again Lwinking
Guest
Posted: Saturday, January 26, 2013 2:18:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 700,315
So we communicate well too. Even so it took some time for my now sub to admit she wanted to be spanked! She also told me of her dream to be tied naked to a boat in the ocean looking up at me. Guess then mentioning my desire for a 3some was easy to bring out. My thought is to throw it out there and see ... you may well discover new areas of fun.
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