I am currently working on a project, and I would love some help, please.
For those of you who like the thought of sex with a virgin, I would love to know what it is that you find so appealing. Is it knowing that she is vulnerable in your hands? That she is "unsullied"? That you are special to receive a gift she has given no other man?
Does her inexperience make her more likely to be more fun or less fun? Is it the fact you can teach her things, or watch her discover them?
How do you feel about sex with a virgin who has no physical experience, but a dirty mind (and probably mouth, too)? Would that make a difference?
For those of you who don't like sex with a virgin because of lack of experience/awkwardness, etc, is there anything that might make you change your mind, or be more likely to swallow your own needs for a while, and get intimate with one?
Thank you in advance for any helpful (or amusing) responses.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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I can say this in the Forum since we were both 16 years old at the time, but my high school girlfriend and I de-virginized each other. A lot of discussion and thought went into it before we did it. It was a sweet experience from an emotional point-of-view but it certainly wasn't great sex. It was extremely clumsy but we managed. After awhile we got pretty good at it but not in the beginning.
As for your question I wouldn't be attracted to having sex with a virgin at all. There just would be no turn on at all to me as an experienced guy.
I always thought the reason that men in past eras of history wanted virgins is because they didn't want the woman to have any perspective to know whether or not he was good in bed. In current times, usually when I've heard some guy talking about how he prefers virgins, I get the same vibe. It's that low self-confidence that leads them to want a woman that won't know that his 30 second humping isn't a good thing. Controlling men who want to totally dominate all aspects of their woman's lives.. they prefer women who've been "unsullied".
If I'm attracted to a woman, the number of sex partners is irrelevant. Be it 1000 or 0.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates I'm not sure what the appeal of virgins is myself. I've never been with one and I don't feel that I've missed anything because of that. I wouldn't turn a woman down if I found out she was a virgin but I'm not someone who is going to go hunting for one either. Likely, I'd be rather nervous about being with one and I'm not sure how much I'd enjoy it. I'd be too focussed on making it good for her while not really being sure how to do that. If that makes sense.
My deflowering was at the hands of an experienced woman which made me much more comfortable. I don't have any problem with teaching or learning from a partner but to have a virgin just for that sake seems kinda silly. I will admit to being slightly jealous of a new lovers experiences, but always seem to enjoy the benefits of that experience.
First let me say the thought of sex with a virgin is neither a turn on or turn off for me. and except for my first sexual experience with a boy when we wre both virgins, I have never been with a virgin to my knowledge.
I can look at two ways.
1- Being someones first sex partner can be very rewarding since you are teaching them pleasures of the human body,how to make themselves and their partner experience all that is wonderful about sex. And they will always remember you as the person who opened them up to this amazing new experience.
2- On the other hand, being someone's first sexual partner is putting a lot of pressure on yourself. If you do not handle it just right, you may make them feel inadequate and hurt their sexual development. You need to be able to read them and go at a pace that is right for them. You have to remember, they are new and inexperienced. Its like they say in baseball, a great hitter doent necessarily make a great hitting coach.
Something that is a turn on for me is being a woman's first woman, showing her the pleasures that only a woman can give to another. She is not technically a virgin, but you have to handle it the same way to make it special for her!!
The 'appeal of virgins' has always had a negative connotation for me. It's one thing to be fall for (or be attracted to someone) who happens to be a virgin but when it becomes a criteria they're looking for, it's just creepy. I always think of guys prowling the barely legal tube sites or who like the idea of corrupting 'innocent girls'.
For someone who wants a virgin (or actively seeks them), it's either
a) cultural - being the first and only, wanting a pure bride - or whatever because of cultural/social expectation.
b) an insecurity - not having to worry about the comparison factor in terms of size, sex style.
c) a power play - the challenge or 'sport' of getting a girl to give it up to him and be her first.
With the latter, I once had this conversation with a guy. He said that sex and destruction were the most powerful innate human urges. He likened it to building a house of cards or a sand castle and then enjoying the pleasure of knocking it down. To enjoy the rush of power implicit in destroying what was once beautiful/good and in some cases even what he himself helped to create (that's pretty close to the way he explained it). I think there was a certain enjoyable 'sport/challenge' in saying the right things and getting a girl to give up something that she once valued as precious and special. It's an ego thrill. That's the darker interpretation of men who enjoy deflowering virgins or getting a girl to do something she's never done before. The perversion of innocence and vulnerability is compelling for some men.
As for First Time stories being popular - I think it might have something to do with the nostalgia of it too for some readers. People who had good first experiences maybe glorify the idea and the stories take them back to that time and place where they can remember their first taste of sex.
No real apeal to me. I like women in their late twenties to early thirties. Experienced, know what they like, not afraid to ask!
Still as far as your question "is there anything that might make you change your mind", First she would have to be 18+. Second I would have to know her really, really, really well. Third it would have to be a situation where she wanted someone who would "treat her right". If all the guys shes met are like that dog in the commercial "bacon, bacon, bacon, I smell Bacon" (except replace bacon with pussy), and she's looking for someone who would treat her like a human being instead of a dog treat, I could understand her desire to seek out someone with experience. Still it gives me that creepy, dirty old man vibe..... If it happened it would be something I did for her my needs would have to be put to the side.
Now saying all that, my 2nd wife was a 24 year old virgin. I will never go through that again. I finally figure out the way she made it to 24 was she had absoltely no sex drive. None, nada, zero.... Never even masturbated... I thought that I would awaken that side of her and we would have great sex. Found there was nothing to awaken. She felt sex was for reproduction only "as God intended".
Hope that helped a little....
phoenix69 hit it right on the head....
none to me either, a more mature experienced lady is more appreciated by me
and no, I wouldn't change my mind
I have written, (both in poetry and prose) about HOW I REMEMBER it was to lose my own virginity, and to another virgin...
At that time, the concept of our virginity was both all-consuming and mattered not a jot... PASSION got in the way, and it was passion that led us to make the move both of us desired to make... I cry to remember her... She thought I was in charge and yet I was hopeless and clueless... But we loved each other and I cannot imagine a better first time... In the wise way that women will, she held me as I tried and told me I was fine... And because I loved her I was... (She was 16... I was exactly one month younger... We were friends and in love and I guess, in some way, I've weighed every girl since against her honesty and innocence...
I have heard HORROR STORIES from girlfriends about their experiences. I guess me an my H got lucky.
I've had virgins since. PRACTICALLY, it's a fucking nightmare... It's not like you can't do it, it's not like you don't WANT to do it, but I LOVED my first and I think everyone should REALLY love their first... And I've struggled with that... What I've learned is that sometimes they know more than you... Even if they don't know that at the time...
As my cynical friends say about my exes, (most of whom were not virgins) "Another graduate of the Stephen Stone Finishing School For Girls..." (This while I'm drunk and crying as my fairy demonstrates the tricks I've taught her for some other lover... The REAL trick being This Is How You Are Loved....)
Some of you will know what I mean...
Last virgin? Charlotte. Holiday romance. I was in my 40s, Charlotte was 18. SHE was on holiday for three weeks, I lived in Greece... It was DAYS before I took her to bed and when she told me she'd never fucked a guy I vowed i wouldn't be the first. She deserved better. We could do other things.
I fell for her like you wouldn't believe. When I took her, it was BEAUTIFUL... I felt, HONESTLY, that I wasn't the only one who was giving something up... And we stayed in touch for a time...
(She's divorced now with a little boy... She called the boy Stephen... He was born three years after I met her, so it ain't that...)
But I LOVED her... (I tried hard not to...)
I'm not sure what any of it means, but I do know this...
To GIVE YOURSELF to someone you care about and who cares about you is a real thing... (To have a virgin makes you a Virgin...)
(To fuck someone because you both want to and know the deal is not the same...)
Most girls I know first fucked someone they didn't love. I didn't. Sharonne, Fiona, Lorraine, ANOTHER Fiona and dear Charlotte didn't either...
I couldn't give a shit if you're a whore or an innocent... All I care about is that you want me and I want you.
If that's okay we'll work it out...
(Hope that helps, Daisy Darling...)
xx Sf
This is a different side of the answer....
As may have stated above, it is not always desirable to have sex with a virgin.
Insecurity, fears and other factors can make what should be an enjoyable experience, a chore.
Now, from another perspective, as mature woman, who has had a few experiences bedding virgin guys and gals, it was more of a training and teaching exercise which I relished and enjoyed taking part of.
No! It wasn't the Cougar in me! But Yes! It was the horny woman wanted to share the pleasures of the flesh and open new doors for these people!
It was not the case of a horny guy who wanted a hot older woman.
It was not the situation of a Old Broad who wanted to train a girl to be les.
It was not a lot of other situations!
It was a loving introduction to sex with the opportunity to make it a special experience that will encourage them to learn and experiment to do more!
Kisses!
Steph
A very interesting subject-one which I've never given much thought to!
My partner and I were both previously married to men, and had pretty unfulfilling sex lives. I hated sex with my ex husband, and I really had no sex drive with him at all.
Fast forward to now...my girl and I are eachother's first girlfriend, and also were eachother's first as far as lesbian sex goes. Thinking back, I've really enjoyed us learning the ropes with eachother! We've both kept pretty open minds and are exploring (and enjoying) all kinds of things together that we previously didn't enjoy with men!
I totally cannot foresee starting another relationship, but someone being a virgin wouldn't really be an issue to me. If the connection truly is there, then the love, tenderness, and caring are also there and I wouldn't give a second thought to if she is a virgin or not.
As a woman, I don't see what the appeal of a virgin is, except the "I got her first" thing. They're nervous, inexperienced, and you have to teach them, not to mention the blood and pain. Fuck a slut! She may do something that surprises you
