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A $200 Cash 1st Prize in our new competition is no laughing matter!

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nicola
Matriarch
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Well, hopefully it will be.

Our new story competition is going to be a real challenge:

April was designated as "National Humor Month" in 1976, by Larry Wilde.

It was designed to heighten public awareness on how the joy and therapeutic value of laughter can improve health, boost morale, increase communication skills and enrich the quality of one's life.

Competition Theme

Show your humorous and creative side. We are looking for fun, lighthearted and sexy stories / poems. Be as absurd and far-fetched as you like. Make us laugh!


Full competition details can be found here.



1st Place Prize: $200
2nd Place Prize: $100
3rd Place Prize: Potato
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
omg, what kind of potato? idaho? russet? red? yellow? couch??? *starts writing furiously*

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

nicola
Matriarch
0 likes
Depends what's in season, I always like using seasonal fruit and veg.

Root ginger is especially good right now, I use half for Gari (pickled - perfect accompaniment to sushi), and the other half for...
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
Quote by nicola
Depends what's in season, I always like using seasonal fruit and veg.

Root ginger is especially good right now, I use half for Gari (pickled - perfect accompaniment to sushi), and the other half for...


you know, you're cute when you blush. ;)

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Hm, I think I have an idea. Time to start!
DirtyMartini
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
0 likes
Quote by Her Royal Ginger-Loving Spriteness
omg, what kind of potato? idaho? russet? red? yellow? couch??? *starts writing furiously*


I'm still trying to find out more about this potato myself...does it sing? Does it dance?


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
CurlyGirly
CurlyFries
0 likes
Since my favorite vibrator died, I'm totally gunning to win this potato!
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
I have a question: if you want to submit a story that's longer than 10,000 words, can you submit it as two parts, or is that not allowed? I'm just worried about my current story. I can try to cut it down, if necessary. It won't be much longer than 10,000, and definitely shorter than, say, 12,000, but I might bump up against the limit. What are the rules regarding this?
nicola
Matriarch
0 likes
Quote by MatthewVett
I have a question: if you want to submit a story that's longer than 10,000 words, can you submit it as two parts, or is that not allowed? I'm just worried about my current story. I can try to cut it down, if necessary. It won't be much longer than 10,000, and definitely shorter than, say, 12,000, but I might bump up against the limit. What are the rules regarding this?


10,000 words is a guideline, less than 12,000 should be ok. Going by the feedback we get from people, anything over 10,000 words, you're unlikely to keep the reader interested, unless it's exceptionally well written. Most people expect stories (online), to be readable in under 15 minutes, that's not possible (for the majority of people), if the story is that long.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Speaking for myself, if a story is over 5,000 words, I'm likely to get impatient, stop halfway and not come back to it unless the story is AMAZING (and that's only happened once. .. the coming back to it part).
nicola
Matriarch
0 likes
Quote by one_winged_angel
Speaking for myself, if a story is over 5,000 words, I'm likely to get impatient, stop halfway and not come back to it unless the story is AMAZING (and that's only happened once. .. the coming back to it part).


Agreed. It takes me a little under 3 minutes per 1000 words, taking it easy, so that's 15 minutes of my time. 10,000 words is half an hour out of my life, it had better be a good story!
DirtyMartini
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
0 likes
I think I may have a contest entry ready for submission, but not quite sure...I have it posted over in the mod forum on the blue site, and another place or two...hoping to get some feedback...

It's a poem...and I think it's only fair to warn you...this one's brutal even by my standards...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
nicola
Matriarch
0 likes
2 weeks deadline to win that potato!
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
I want that potato.

screw the cash I want the tuber
clum
Clumeleon
0 likes
Bump. Deadline fast-approaching.

I think this is the first competition I've entered where I haven't been scrambling to get it in on time (snigger). Can't say I care for the long wait though...

Edit: As much as would love a potato, I could REALLY use the cash just now (I'm beginning to think it might be cheaper to just MOVE to London). If anyone hasn't read and voted a 5 on my story yet, go'n. smile
crazydiamond
Clever Gem
0 likes
Quote by clum
Bump. Deadline fast-approaching.


Edit: As much as would love a potato, I could REALLY use the cash just now (I'm beginning to think it might be cheaper to just MOVE to London). If anyone hasn't read and voted a 5 on my story yet, go'n. smile


You are just making excuses to see me.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
Quote by DirtyMartini
I think I may have a contest entry ready for submission, but not quite sure...I have it posted over in the mod forum on the blue site, and another place or two...hoping to get some feedback...

It's a poem...and I think it's only fair to warn you...this one's brutal even by my standards...


when did you start having standards?

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

nicola
Matriarch
0 likes
Sometimes life is so disappointing Sprite!

1 week until deadline.

A reminder, stories with less than 10 votes don't qualify.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
I thought the deadline was the 12th, unless I read the comp page wrong. Oh well, more time to harrass people to read my entry (link in my sig ) I'm shameless, I know
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
Quote by nicola
Sometimes life is so disappointing Sprite!

1 week until deadline.

A reminder, stories with less than 10 votes don't qualify.


what about stories with less than 10 words? biggrin

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

nicola
Matriarch
0 likes


I was looking at the announcement date, sorry, my mistake.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
Quote by nicola


I was looking at the announcement date, sorry, my mistake.


The closing date for this competition is 12 Apr 2013. Winners will be announced on the 18 Apr 2013, just to make it official. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

DirtyMartini
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
0 likes
Quote by Senorita Spriteness


when did you start having standards?


I'll remember that next time you send me a friend request over on Historias...

Btw Nic, if I win a potato, you can just ferment it for me and send me the vodka when it's done...thanks...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
0 likes
DM wrote: Btw Nic, if I win a potato, you can just ferment it for me and send me the vodka when it's done...thanks...


That Dirty Martini is the very epitome of kindness and consideration...not to mention sponging drinks.

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WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
0 likes
Quote by sprite


The closing date for this competition is 12 Apr 2013. Winners will be announced on the 18 Apr 2013, just to make it official. smile


Someone show me the funniest stuff on Lush, please. I'd have entered but then I'd have to turn the votes on.



And everyone knows...I'm too big a pussy to ever do that.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.