Lurker
0 likes
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
She says our sex life is boring after 19 yrs of marriage. Any tips to spice it up?
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Yes. Talk to her.
Rookie Scribe
0 likes
Quote by LovingHusband708
Quite easy. Surprise her! While she is alseep on her back, start licking her pussy. It is easy, just try to get some toys. Oh! Maybe you should make her your pet so she does every sex command you want? Try torturing her with vibrators.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Why do you think it got like that? are you a loving husband?
Choose n Practice Happiness
Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Find out her fantasies. Try to make them come true even if it means pretending to be someone else.
Lurker
0 likes
I agree, talk to her. Find out what SHE might want to do since she was the one who said your sex life is boring. For me that would be like someone complaining that the food has become boring... I would immediately ask "Is there something you might like to try". Oh... hey.... that works for sex too. ;)
Even if she can give you a general idea of a direction to go in, you could then come back and ask more specifically what might work or be a good idea. But without knowing you, your current sex life, your wife, or anything other than a pretty simple and generic question, it is really difficult for anyone to do much more than toss out what THEY might want to do.... which could be vastly different than what your wife might want.
Also be prepared for the "I don't know" and her getting shy about it. I don't know your wife, but I know men and women can want more but often times have a hard time vocalizing their desires for any number of reasons. One is not wanting to be judged, or not wanting to hurt your feelings. So you might actually have to keep the discussion flowing and ask questions. Guide her if she seems stuck. Toss out some fairly common things, like porn, toys, different positions, flavored lotions, roll playing, etc. You should get a general idea of what she does NOT want to do pretty quickly. And don't sound excited about any of the things you mention. Keep them all the same, and let her show the interest.
Good luck, and as always, feel free to come back with more information and/or let us know how it is going.
Even if she can give you a general idea of a direction to go in, you could then come back and ask more specifically what might work or be a good idea. But without knowing you, your current sex life, your wife, or anything other than a pretty simple and generic question, it is really difficult for anyone to do much more than toss out what THEY might want to do.... which could be vastly different than what your wife might want.
Also be prepared for the "I don't know" and her getting shy about it. I don't know your wife, but I know men and women can want more but often times have a hard time vocalizing their desires for any number of reasons. One is not wanting to be judged, or not wanting to hurt your feelings. So you might actually have to keep the discussion flowing and ask questions. Guide her if she seems stuck. Toss out some fairly common things, like porn, toys, different positions, flavored lotions, roll playing, etc. You should get a general idea of what she does NOT want to do pretty quickly. And don't sound excited about any of the things you mention. Keep them all the same, and let her show the interest.
Good luck, and as always, feel free to come back with more information and/or let us know how it is going.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Communication is the key. Maybe you are not keeping it interesting for her either. Talk to her. Find out what she wants to do, or how she wants to be treated. There's no substitute for good two way conversation.
Rookie Scribe
0 likes
I would venture to guess that if she were open enough to let you know that she feels your sex life is becoming boring, then she would also be open enough to have a frank discussion of how you'd go about improving it. So, I definitely agree with those who noted that you should talk about it. In one aspect, you are lucky that she has come out and said something, so many won't. Now, it's up to you to work with her and try different avenues.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I would agree that you are lucky that she was the one to bring up the subject. She obviously cares about your relationship. Light some candles, pour a glass of wine, tell her how much she means to you and then ask her what you can do to please her.
Lurker
0 likes
I don't have much experience at this but when was the last time you wined and dined her like she was your everything? I don't know...maybe that'll work if you both recaptured the love you started with. Thats one thing I have to hand to my dad...my mom knows she is loved as much today as when they met.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Yes ................... try a few well thought 3 somes ...mmf so you will have 2X the sexual fun ....it works ....belive me .
Lurker
0 likes
There should be something missing after 19 years coz it becomes routine and people tend to neglected. So I will try to innovate her sexual desires. Surely I will talk to her and ask what she is expected to do and what is lacking on my side. Then we will work it out for the better.
Lurker
0 likes
I would say try something new. If it's done the same way every time then it does become boring. Change it up a bit.
Lurker
0 likes
I've been married 30 years now to the same lady. I've found that all things are cyclical - even sex. As many have pointed out, communication is key. Talk to each other about what works and what doesn't. Talk about what she would like to try... as we get older our sexual interests change. There are also lots of good books that discuss all the wonderful erectile tissue found on a lady... read and explore either separately or as a couple. You don't say much about your relationship, but lots of forplay throughout the day: sexy texts, emails, phone calls, flowers, letters. When I make it an all-day affair, she responds. Again, not everyone is the same, this is just what works for an older guy whose been married a while. Just my two-cents, for what that's worth.
Lurker
0 likes
Read some of the stories, allow your imagination to open up, hell read the stories together and guage her reactions!!!!
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I would say that JohnC and others have about summed it up. You have to open the lines of communication. The best relationships are built on the ability to be open with each other. Try to find her wants and desires. Maybe she wants things to be spiced up just a notch, or maybe something that might shock the hell out of you. You both need to be open and not judge the other on their fantasies. Have a nice dinner and a couple glasses of wine/cocktails if that will settle your nervousness about being open. I have only been married for 13 years, but we talk to each other about everything and are very happy. If we have something on our minds, we find the right time and place and explain how were feeling. It works well in my situation, maybe it will for you also. Good luck.
The Linebacker
0 likes
By all means, spice that thing up!
There are so many things you can do from just romance, dinner & dancing, sexy lingerie, porn, sexy beach getaways, to lathering syrup on her body. Get creative. Get her naked and eat a strawberry from her navel then ravish her for all you've got.
There are so many things you can do from just romance, dinner & dancing, sexy lingerie, porn, sexy beach getaways, to lathering syrup on her body. Get creative. Get her naked and eat a strawberry from her navel then ravish her for all you've got.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by Kristind
I don't have much experience at this but when was the last time you wined and dined her like she was your everything? I don't know...maybe that'll work if you both recaptured the love you started with. Thats one thing I have to hand to my dad...my mom knows she is loved as much today as when they met.
absolutely awesome...terrific comments
Lurker
0 likes
Thanks for all the advice. She did say "I don't know" when asked for her ideas to spice up things in bed. She did enjoy a pre-sex massage other night. I know she must have fantasies, sometimes shares them with me. Maybe some of those will heat things up? To me though its not fair to call me boring if she brings nothing new to bedroom. I've tried many things, trust me. And I still have to tell her, after 19 years, what to do for a great BJ. I find that odd.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Sweetdreamz and JohnC are pretty smart. You can learn a lot from them. The thing women like the best is feeling like they are special and that you care and think she is still the love of your life. We lose interest in sex because we feel taken for granted. Women's "work" is boring. Help out so it gets done faster and then there is more time for fun. Listen when she talks. Pay attention to what she thinks is important and let her know it is to you too. Getting the fun back takes some work. Be prepared.
Lurker
0 likes
Communication is key.
you may have a shared fantasy but because there isn't any communication neither of you know.
you may have a shared fantasy but because there isn't any communication neither of you know.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by Leiza350
Yes ................... try a few well thought 3 somes ...mmf so you will have 2X the sexual fun ....it works ....believe me .
There is SO much good advice on this thread. I'm proud to be amongst such kind and thoughtful folks. The above is my favorite of all of them. But there is some very very good advice here. We've been married 28 years this summer, and we are still having fun. Being open and honest is what has worked for us. That and the occasional 3 some or more some.
;) And yes, we do flirt, tease, pet, stoke and let each other know throughout the day that we are glad to be married to one of the sexiest people we know. ;) Keeping it FUN.A horny couple, a few spices, a LOT of FUN
Hope you will check out my first story - Kitty Kapers - A Well Seasoned Woman
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/oral-sex/kitty-kapers-a-well-seasoned-woman.aspx
Hope you will check out my first story - Kitty Kapers - A Well Seasoned Woman
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/oral-sex/kitty-kapers-a-well-seasoned-woman.aspx
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by 100pensThat's a great idea-or pull her pants down and start licking her while she's doing the dishes, etc. I'd suggest vibes but I bought one for my first wife as kind of a joke, and she ended up preferring the damned thing to me
Quite easy. Surprise her! While she is alseep on her back, start licking her pussy.
Anyway, I personally don't think sex ever gets boring, regardless of how long you've been with someone-sex is what you make it, like everything else.
Big-haired Bitch
0 likes
Simple really, spice it up. Come on dude, use your imagination. You're on a sex-based site. Clearly you know the sky's the limit when it comes to sex. Do something different. Different is almost always intriguing. Even if it's something as simple as flicking or twirling your tongue a bit differently when you're going down on her. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Ask her what she likes. If she can't voice it, ask her to show you. Make sex an adventure, not a chore.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Constant Gardener
0 likes
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
Simple really, spice it up. Come on dude, use your imagination. You're on a sex-based site. Clearly you know the sky's the limit when it comes to sex. Do something different. Different is almost always intriguing.
Make sex an adventure, not a chore.
Purchase her some new lingerie, in any size which isn't her own. That will put some adventure into your bedroom conversation and alleviate the boredom.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Lurker
0 likes
After 19 years of marriage, I'm guessing you've done "it" at least 19 times and it's become too much of a routine. That's boring, you bet. Most couples after they've had sex for 19 times have run out of imagination. They try "different things", some work, some don't, even the "exploration" gets very old, very quickly if it's always the same old-same old. I often recommend going back to square one and starting anew. Start seducing each other again. Go longer periods between having sex so that by the time you do, it's exciting and needful again. Masturbate in front of each other before you have sex to build up the wanting. Put ROMANCE back in the equation.
Lurker
0 likes
TRY THIS .... if / WHEN it works for you she'll never be "bored" again.
http :// forum.literotica. com/ showthread.php?t= 70892
http :// forum.literotica. com/ showthread.php?t= 70892
Rookie Scribe
0 likes
Take her for a late night "ride" and surprise her to car sex and u do all the pleasing.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Sit her down in front of some pre-chosen porn. Then get ready for the earth to shake for you.
Make sure YOU are up to it.
Make sure YOU are up to it.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Perfect timing, this years Christmas gift should be 21 years old and 9 inches long....