Active Ink Slinger
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I try to chat with women and it seems like nobody ever wants to, just wondering what I am doing wrong
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What do girls want to hear to be willing to chat?
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Her Royal Spriteness
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when you say 'chat' do you mean cyber or simply strike up a conversation, cause honestly, if you're just trying to hit on random girls, not everyone here is looking for sex chat. 
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by sprite
when you say 'chat' do you mean cyber or simply strike up a conversation, cause honestly, if you're just trying to hit on random girls, not everyone here is looking for sex chat.
I start with "Hey how are you doing" I only take it where the woman is willing to. I do not want to cross any lines
Clever Gem
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What do girls want to hear to be willing to chat?
A good rendition of Meatloaf's "Bat out of hell" is what i like to hear.
Lurker
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If you open random chat boxes, some folk (yes, even men) don't like that. It might be better sending a PM, then the person can decide when to reply, or if they do at all.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by ryry123
I start with "Hey how are you doing" I only take it where the woman is willing to. I do not want to cross any lines
Try "hi there - how's it going?" instead. The difference is subtle but sounds like you're actually interested in knowing rather than coming across a bit Joey from Friends. More importantly, check the profile first. If you see "bisexual", the Socialite badge or the words "I don't open random chat requests" - don't hold your breath waiting for a response.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Active Ink Slinger
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Hi, I don't think it has to be something you are doing 'wrong'.
The gals in here just get LOTS of attention (don't we?)
There are twice as much males then females in here.
For myself; Many times I'm not into chatting, or just for a short time.
Also I dislike to have more then 1 chat at a time, so if I have a chat and another friend pokes/ messages me, I will tell them Im having a chat already.
And besides that, I have very few friends who I really want to chat with for longer time and only one where I chat very regular with.
I saw you are just new to Lush and dont have that many friends. It also just takes some time, and it might be handy to add some more friends so you can catch up with them more often.
Or maybe try to find some more friends from Europe, they have more similar timezones so they might be online more often when you are...
Have fun!
The gals in here just get LOTS of attention (don't we?)
There are twice as much males then females in here.
For myself; Many times I'm not into chatting, or just for a short time.
Also I dislike to have more then 1 chat at a time, so if I have a chat and another friend pokes/ messages me, I will tell them Im having a chat already.
And besides that, I have very few friends who I really want to chat with for longer time and only one where I chat very regular with.
I saw you are just new to Lush and dont have that many friends. It also just takes some time, and it might be handy to add some more friends so you can catch up with them more often.
Or maybe try to find some more friends from Europe, they have more similar timezones so they might be online more often when you are...
Have fun!
My newest story: Monica's Birthday turns into an unexpected orgy
Lessons from a Naugthy Nurse: Scott learns all about oral sex from his nurse
Lessons from a Naugthy Nurse: Scott learns all about oral sex from his nurse
Her Royal Spriteness
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quite honestly, sometimes i'm just not in the mood to chat, or i'm very busy on the site doing other things. if it's close friend saying hi, i'll almost always respond, but if it's someone i don't know that well or at all, sometimes, if the mood strikes me i'll start up a conversation, and sometimes i won't - nothing to do with you, just the way it is.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Big-haired Bitch
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Just walk in a chat room, and say "Hey! Any womens want 2 pvt?"
The panties will IMMEDIATELY drop
Sources: Me (Trust me, I have a vagina)
No...but in all seriousness, just strike up a conversation. Just a simple "Hello, how are you?" or something along those lines will just about do it. Most women here are at the very least civil, and they'll have a conversation with you as long as you're not a jerk and respect boundaries. Don't just ask random women for private chats because most of us just find it annoying. The chat rooms are your best bet. The only ones who won't be receptive are the ones who are strictly here for pretend sexual relations with females, which is no loss for you, trust me. Don't try too hard. There are plenty of women here who would love to have a conversation with you, even if there all there is. The best way to do it is just go for it. You really can't go wrong unless you come on too strong to a woman who doesn't like that. If that's the case, she'll let you know. I'm sure you'll do fine.
The panties will IMMEDIATELY drop
Sources: Me (Trust me, I have a vagina)
No...but in all seriousness, just strike up a conversation. Just a simple "Hello, how are you?" or something along those lines will just about do it. Most women here are at the very least civil, and they'll have a conversation with you as long as you're not a jerk and respect boundaries. Don't just ask random women for private chats because most of us just find it annoying. The chat rooms are your best bet. The only ones who won't be receptive are the ones who are strictly here for pretend sexual relations with females, which is no loss for you, trust me. Don't try too hard. There are plenty of women here who would love to have a conversation with you, even if there all there is. The best way to do it is just go for it. You really can't go wrong unless you come on too strong to a woman who doesn't like that. If that's the case, she'll let you know. I'm sure you'll do fine.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Active Ink Slinger
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Many of the women here, including me, do not like to chat with anyone (man or woman) who randomly sends them a message out of the blue.
I think your best bet are chat rooms first. Once you get known by some of the women, they will be more willing to chat privately with you. And as long as you are respectful of them and don't come on to strong, I think you will be fine. Good Luck and Happy Lushing!
I think your best bet are chat rooms first. Once you get known by some of the women, they will be more willing to chat privately with you. And as long as you are respectful of them and don't come on to strong, I think you will be fine. Good Luck and Happy Lushing!
Gingerbread Lover
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Quote by Nikki703
Many of the women here, including me, do not like to chat with anyone (man or woman) who randomly sends them a message out of the blue.
I think your best bet are chat rooms first. Once you get known by some of the women, they will be more willing to chat privately with you. And as long as you are respectful of them and don't come on to strong, I think you will be fine. Good Luck and Happy Lushing!
That's good advice. You can also try posting in the games area of the site, or just generally in the forums. Once people see your name and the kind of person you are, they will be able to make a more balanced decision on whether they will chat with you.
Take your time, get to know people through chat rooms and the forums, and enjoy the process of making new friends.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
*** 
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Mazztastic
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I was thinking about this... I've found that the people who've struck up a conversation and been most fun to chat to are ones who maybe send a pm or friend request after reading a story (me reading and commenting on theirs or vice versa) or maybe we've seen each other in the forums... Perhaps we have mutual friends and they've seen things I've posted on their wall or something...
In other words, if I have something in common with the person chatting, something beyond, hey...
I don't have too much free time here and I have to say I find it irritating if someone hits me up with things like: hey I'm horny, are those your breasts, I'm so hard, oh and text speak... It pisses me off from the get go...
I dislike the shotgun approach: where a user simply sends out loads of hits simply in the hope that someone will bite. It's like cold calling... I won't respond favourably to that.
In other words, if I have something in common with the person chatting, something beyond, hey...
I don't have too much free time here and I have to say I find it irritating if someone hits me up with things like: hey I'm horny, are those your breasts, I'm so hard, oh and text speak... It pisses me off from the get go...
I dislike the shotgun approach: where a user simply sends out loads of hits simply in the hope that someone will bite. It's like cold calling... I won't respond favourably to that.
Clever Gem
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Quote by Mazza
I was thinking about this... I've found that the people who've struck up a conversation and been most fun to chat to are ones who maybe send a pm or friend request after reading a story (me reading and commenting on theirs or vice versa) or maybe we've seen each other in the forums... Perhaps we have mutual friends and they've seen things I've posted on their wall or something...
In other words, if I have something in common with the person chatting, something beyond, hey...
I don't have too much free time here and I have to say I find it irritating if someone hits me up with things like: hey I'm horny, are those your breasts, I'm so hard, oh and text speak... It pisses me off from the get go...
I dislike the shotgun approach: where a user simply sends out loads of hits simply in the hope that someone will bite. It's like cold calling... I won't respond favourably to that.
You said you loved when i said i'm horny! liar!
Mazztastic
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Quote by crazydiamond
You said you loved when i said i'm horny! liar!
Oh no, I love it when you're horny... That's very different! ;)
Clever Gem
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Quote by Mazza
Oh no, I love it when you're horny... That's very different! ;)
It's cuz I talk "Linen Porn" isn't it!
Lurker
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I also suggest bumping into people on the forums. Members can learn some interesting things from forum posts. A member with no interaction and few posts to read can be off-putting to a lot of gals. But if you interact with them openly, and they like your posts and personality, chances are they will be much more receptive to chatting. Also as was pointed out by another member, a PM is often the better way of breaking the ice. Say hello, tell them a bit about yourself, why you were interested in them, etc. Heck, you don't even have to ask them to be your "friend" here... that can come later.
Once the initial ice is broken, I think you will find the "black box" a bit more acceptable, and heck, they may actually contact YOU that way if they like what they have seen so far.
As others have said... good luck!
Once the initial ice is broken, I think you will find the "black box" a bit more acceptable, and heck, they may actually contact YOU that way if they like what they have seen so far.
As others have said... good luck!
Active Ink Slinger
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Agreed. I am one of those women who very much appreciates a PM with some kind of introduction over any random poke or chat window request out of the blue. I think you will have better luck doing that especially with any woman with an ounce of substance. On the flip side, chat rooms are indeed a valid option (not my thing but I know it works for many on here). But as said already, respect is important and should be exercised at all times. Good luck!
Active Ink Slinger
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That little thing called your profile is an amazing tool when used properly. Fill it in.
We don't need a novel, but take a look around at a few of the members profiles to get a feel for it.
We don't want to do all the work when you start off with "Hey! How's it going?"
I've got a one word answer for that. "Fine." That's if I even answer it. I know I'm going to have to pull teeth to get this conversation started.
Now it's dead air. Nothing. This is when it becomes awkward. A conversation should flow smoothly. It shouldn't be hard work.
Now unless I ask a question back (and sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it) the beginning of the conversation has ended.
Or I might not know the person asking the question well enough to ask them a question.
You started the conversation... Now make it interesting.
Find something in common to discuss. Maybe a note about a story they've written if they're an author or a comment about their blog post.
Maybe their choice in music, if they've put together a playlist. Or like someone said before, interacted with them in the forums.
The tools are their for you... Now implement them.
We don't need a novel, but take a look around at a few of the members profiles to get a feel for it.
We don't want to do all the work when you start off with "Hey! How's it going?"
I've got a one word answer for that. "Fine." That's if I even answer it. I know I'm going to have to pull teeth to get this conversation started.
Now it's dead air. Nothing. This is when it becomes awkward. A conversation should flow smoothly. It shouldn't be hard work.
Now unless I ask a question back (and sometimes I'm just not in the mood for it) the beginning of the conversation has ended.
Or I might not know the person asking the question well enough to ask them a question.
You started the conversation... Now make it interesting.
Find something in common to discuss. Maybe a note about a story they've written if they're an author or a comment about their blog post.
Maybe their choice in music, if they've put together a playlist. Or like someone said before, interacted with them in the forums.
The tools are their for you... Now implement them.
Active Ink Slinger
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Lots of good advice here. Profiles...read the person's you want to talk to in the chatroom and try to find something in common. Make sure yours is filled out and interesting. Use something in the profile or maybe a story they've written as a conversation starter. On no account send random requests..they're irritating. Don't say hello to every girl in the chatroom hoping to get a reply. When you've started a conversation with someone, keep it up. Don't leave without saying goodbye, just like in real life. No text speak. Good luck.
" I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer"
Woody Allen
Woody Allen
Active Ink Slinger
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Be polite, articulate, subtly flirtatious but not overtly sexual. Most importantly, try to inject a bit of intelligent humour to your opening gambit. Then let the fun begin!
Active Ink Slinger
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Thanks for all of the advice everyone. If any of you would be willing to chat please send me a message or just chat me sometime
Thanks again
Thanks again
Active Ink Slinger
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WOW! These responses were very depressing. several of you recommended using CHAT. My typing is all hunt & peck, therefore it takes forever to complete any one thought.
Lets just say that somehow I caught your attention.You sent me a short message By the time I completed my return reply , & pressed send.(1)You probably would have retired from your Job, (2)Or at least for the night. (3)You have forgotten what we were discussing. (4) My seeing eye dog has gotten tired of pointing out the letters for me..(5)This site had another failure & is again off ..
Knot No-ing just how these electrical marvels work eye may think that eye am response-able for that malfunction ..
Naw just kidding My dog loves me,& he doesn't mind (at all )Helping me with spelling or my typing..
.(
Lets just say that somehow I caught your attention.You sent me a short message By the time I completed my return reply , & pressed send.(1)You probably would have retired from your Job, (2)Or at least for the night. (3)You have forgotten what we were discussing. (4) My seeing eye dog has gotten tired of pointing out the letters for me..(5)This site had another failure & is again off ..
Knot No-ing just how these electrical marvels work eye may think that eye am response-able for that malfunction ..
Naw just kidding My dog loves me,& he doesn't mind (at all )Helping me with spelling or my typing..
.(
Active Ink Slinger
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2 words: forum posts. Participate in the various fora.
Active Ink Slinger
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The thre short sentences in your profile tell me nothing that would make you of interest. Tell us why you are special and why we would be missing something if we did not respond.
Anika
Anika