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How to lose your job... ABC style Options · View
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 6:22:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
List alphabetically ways to lose your job.

A-
Abruptly start yelling at your customers when your boss is passing by.
bill11
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 7:17:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/10/2010
Posts: 28,717
Location: On the water when possible , United States
B -

Botch up painting of a room, by knocking the paint can over on the carpet flooring, you were going to same time and did not install the protective drop cloth.
AmericanBeauty
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 9:19:35 PM

Rank: American Sweetheart

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 20,604
Location: Under The Blanket My Sweet Cheeks, United States
C-

Catching the the CEO in the bathroom and blackmailing him and drive so him so mentally crazy insane

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 9:37:45 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
damn stupidly - taking a crap on your manager's desk, with them there, in front of the rest of the office and getting caught on cctv.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 9:54:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
Emerging from the bathroom with the bosses son/ daughter adjusting his/her clothes
EDWolfe
Posted: Wednesday, May 1, 2013 9:57:31 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
Fire-starter: start a fire in the break room.

(Would say "Fuck the boss's kid, but Choosiemama beat me to it.)
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 7:58:58 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
Great white shark - bring your pet shark into work, set it on the boss.
Poppet
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 8:03:44 PM

Rank: Cheeky Chick

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 6,251
Location: In Your Dirty Fantasies, United States
H - Hire a Hooker for everyone during the work hours.

Dani
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 9:12:33 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 7,178
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
Insert your penis in your boss's daughter...or son.



EDWolfe
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 9:23:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
(This one doesn't count if you're a hooker.)

Jerk off during work: often, and enough to hurt your productivity.
AmericanBeauty
Posted: Thursday, May 2, 2013 9:44:15 PM

Rank: American Sweetheart

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 20,604
Location: Under The Blanket My Sweet Cheeks, United States
K- bring in Kangaroos and have bounce of the walls

Guest
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 12:30:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
Leave early to fuck bosses wife/husband
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 10:09:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
massage your manhood/mammaries until orgasm reached.......whilst having your annual evaluation with the senior management team
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 10:19:38 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
N - Nibble your boss's nipples/nuts. pick one.
vjlegbabe
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 10:22:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/17/2012
Posts: 2,480
Location: Farmland USA, United States
Dress like a slut
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 10:30:36 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
vjlegbabe wrote:
Dress like a slut


pity its not an abc reply, but dressing like a slut is more likely to get you a job!!

trinket wrote:
N - Nibble your boss's nipples/nuts. pick one.


O - openly set up your own rival company whilst still working for your current employer
Ardentmale
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 11:34:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 8,809
Location: Jersey Shore, United States
Pass out perverse photos of the bosses provocative partner pounding petrified poles.... :)

characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 1:43:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
quickie sex with every one else in the office except your manager
Poppet
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 7:00:26 PM

Rank: Cheeky Chick

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 6,251
Location: In Your Dirty Fantasies, United States
R - Rim your boss's wife on his desk

Guest
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 7:49:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
S - Sperm: jizz in the boss's morning coffee
AmericanBeauty
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 9:26:29 PM

Rank: American Sweetheart

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 20,604
Location: Under The Blanket My Sweet Cheeks, United States
T- throw the trash everywhere and set the teletubbies to destroy the work place

Ardentmale
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 9:54:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 8,809
Location: Jersey Shore, United States
Undress and do the willy snake dance.... lol

characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
WellMadeMale
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 10:49:11 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,754
Location: Cakeland, United States
Vanish during the middle of an important meeting after sending a CC: email to every single person in the corporation, where you address the HR manager and instruct her or him that you'll vanquish every single vermin in the company unless you receive your yearly bonus. Make sure you bullet point all the office affairs, ass kissers and their deeds, backstabbing cocksuckers and social climbers and as many conspiracies as you can remember or invent.

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 3, 2013 11:13:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
W -- Wank over you desk, your boss's desk, everyones desk, then scream bloody murder and run around like a fucking lunatic
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 4, 2013 8:23:19 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
Xylophone - Play one really loudly during important meetings and when challenged about it, play dumb, stop for a bit and then play again, louder than before.
HotBttmInBriefs
Posted: Saturday, May 4, 2013 10:26:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 1,518
Location: United States
Zip -- Zip and unzip your pants constantly in front of your co-workers

Poppet
Posted: Saturday, May 4, 2013 1:18:45 PM

Rank: Cheeky Chick

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 6,251
Location: In Your Dirty Fantasies, United States
Attack the boss, tie him to the chair as you fuck his wife, forcing him to watch.....

Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 4, 2013 3:49:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
break every company rule in the same day
WellMadeMale
Posted: Saturday, May 4, 2013 4:06:57 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,754
Location: Cakeland, United States
Close the elevator doors after you jump on, next to the CEO and CIO, then press the alarm button to stop lift. Let loose with a cacophony of anal blurtings from previous evenings burrito and tequila festival.

Obscenity is the last refuge of an inarticulate motherfucker.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 4, 2013 4:09:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 779,310
Dance naked through the office all day long
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