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How to lose your job... ABC style Options · View
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 01, 2013 6:22:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
List alphabetically ways to lose your job.

A-
Abruptly start yelling at your customers when your boss is passing by.
bill11
Posted: Wednesday, May 01, 2013 7:17:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/10/2010
Posts: 24,280
Location: On the water when possible , United States
B -

Botch up painting of a room, by knocking the paint can over on the carpet flooring, you were going to same time and did not install the protective drop cloth.
AmericanBeauty
Posted: Wednesday, May 01, 2013 9:19:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 10,918
Location: Can't wait to be in , United States
C-

Catching the the CEO in the bathroom and blackmailing him and drive so him so mentally crazy insane


Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 01, 2013 9:37:45 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
damn stupidly - taking a crap on your manager's desk, with them there, in front of the rest of the office and getting caught on cctv.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 01, 2013 9:54:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
Emerging from the bathroom with the bosses son/ daughter adjusting his/her clothes
EDWolfe
Posted: Wednesday, May 01, 2013 9:57:31 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
Fire-starter: start a fire in the break room.

(Would say "Fuck the boss's kid, but Choosiemama beat me to it.)
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 02, 2013 7:58:58 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
Great white shark - bring your pet shark into work, set it on the boss.
Poppet
Posted: Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:03:44 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,621
Location: On A Wishing Star, United States
H - Hire a Hooker for everyone during the work hours.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ You Inspire Me Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Dani
Posted: Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:12:33 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 5,865
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
Insert your penis in your boss's daughter...or son.


"Sometimes, unity is more terrifying than rage." - Deray McKesson

EDWolfe
Posted: Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:23:41 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
(This one doesn't count if you're a hooker.)

Jerk off during work: often, and enough to hurt your productivity.
AmericanBeauty
Posted: Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:44:15 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 10,918
Location: Can't wait to be in , United States
K- bring in Kangaroos and have bounce of the walls


Guest
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 12:30:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
Leave early to fuck bosses wife/husband
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 10:09:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
massage your manhood/mammaries until orgasm reached.......whilst having your annual evaluation with the senior management team
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 10:19:38 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
N - Nibble your boss's nipples/nuts. pick one.
vjlegbabe
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 10:22:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/17/2012
Posts: 1,291
Location: Farmland USA, United States
Dress like a slut
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 10:30:36 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
vjlegbabe wrote:
Dress like a slut


pity its not an abc reply, but dressing like a slut is more likely to get you a job!!

trinket wrote:
N - Nibble your boss's nipples/nuts. pick one.


O - openly set up your own rival company whilst still working for your current employer
Ardentmale
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 11:34:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 4,551
Location: Jersey Shore, United States
Pass out perverse photos of the bosses provocative partner pounding petrified poles.... :)

characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 1:43:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
quickie sex with every one else in the office except your manager
Poppet
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 7:00:26 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,621
Location: On A Wishing Star, United States
R - Rim your boss's wife on his desk

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ You Inspire Me Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 7:49:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
S - Sperm: jizz in the boss's morning coffee
AmericanBeauty
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 9:26:29 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/18/2012
Posts: 10,918
Location: Can't wait to be in , United States
T- throw the trash everywhere and set the teletubbies to destroy the work place


Ardentmale
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 9:54:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 4,551
Location: Jersey Shore, United States
Undress and do the willy snake dance.... lol

characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
WellMadeMale
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 10:49:11 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,477
Location: Cakeland, United States
Vanish during the middle of an important meeting after sending a CC: email to every single person in the corporation, where you address the HR manager and instruct her or him that you'll vanquish every single vermin in the company unless you receive your yearly bonus. Make sure you bullet point all the office affairs, ass kissers and their deeds, backstabbing cocksuckers and social climbers and as many conspiracies as you can remember or invent.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
Guest
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 11:13:44 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
W -- Wank over you desk, your boss's desk, everyones desk, then scream bloody murder and run around like a fucking lunatic
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 8:23:19 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
Xylophone - Play one really loudly during important meetings and when challenged about it, play dumb, stop for a bit and then play again, louder than before.
HotBttmInBriefs
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 10:26:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/6/2013
Posts: 1,518
Location: United States
Zip -- Zip and unzip your pants constantly in front of your co-workers

Poppet
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 1:18:45 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,621
Location: On A Wishing Star, United States
Attack the boss, tie him to the chair as you fuck his wife, forcing him to watch.....

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ You Inspire Me Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 3:49:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
break every company rule in the same day
WellMadeMale
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 4:06:57 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,477
Location: Cakeland, United States
Close the elevator doors after you jump on, next to the CEO and CIO, then press the alarm button to stop lift. Let loose with a cacophony of anal blurtings from previous evenings burrito and tequila festival.

Most intelligent people are introspective and doubt themselves while many fucktards are proudly over-confident. - a tip of the hat to Charles Bukowski
Guest
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 4:09:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,878
Dance naked through the office all day long
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