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To a man, a bi girl is an ultimate fantasy. To a woman, a bi guy is a deal breaker. Why is this?
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Why don't women like to date bi guys?
Internet Philosopher
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From my experience this isn't necessarily the case. It does take a woman with an open mind, and being able to accept it doesn't mean she wants to see it or even talk about it in bed, but I would not call it a death nail.
My biggest problems happened when I wasn't up front early on. That isn't something women want to find out a year into the relationship.
My biggest problems happened when I wasn't up front early on. That isn't something women want to find out a year into the relationship.
Rookie Scribe
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Really a thorny issue. I also found that most girls walked away. I have also found that in multi-partner sex activities bi sexual males are more receptive and the contributing partners have more "fun". As a rule I do not make my status as a bi male known as previous comments show, one get sidelined to easily.qpMz1TPitJxAI1Kv
Lurker
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Double competition?
Lurker
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Because it was obvious - to me - that he wasn't going to have a serious, long term relationship. We talked about the possibilities of us. I didn't want a polygamous relationship in any sense - he didn't want to share his boyfriend with me 24/7. I didn't feel like engaging in the drama any further. (We tried - it just didn't work)
On a funny sidenote: we had different taste in guys.
In fantasy - it's awesome.
In reality - it's complicated and tends to lend itself toward casualness rather than serious life-time pursuits.
Very few people can work it out - and when they do, good for them. It was just too much for me. I found that having one partner was a complicated mess at times
On a funny sidenote: we had different taste in guys.
In fantasy - it's awesome.
In reality - it's complicated and tends to lend itself toward casualness rather than serious life-time pursuits.
Very few people can work it out - and when they do, good for them. It was just too much for me. I found that having one partner was a complicated mess at times
Lurker
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I think there are a lot of issues involved. One of the most obvious is that bi-guys can be cruisers or casual sexers and even with condom use, women can be rightly concerned about STDs. Another issue involves threesomes with the woman being potentially "left out". Any situation where "bi-" is a consideration is, as Metilda says, a commitment thing, whether it's male or female. While some women don't mind it, others think a man who sucks cock or who will suck cock in front of them (as in a threesome) immediately tuns them off for whatever reason. Also as she says, in fantasy, that's one thing, as in women's fascination with yaoi, in reality, another matter altogether. Being bi-sexual can be a kind of "hazy cloud" for people who will almost always wonder which gender is preferred by nature. It's not a matter of religion or prejudice or bias against homosexuality or lesbianism, but rather, I think, simply wanting to know for certain which side of the fence you're on instead of hopping across it now and then.
Big-haired Bitch
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I would think bisexual women are more open to bisexual men than straight women are. And not as many men are gung-ho about bisexual women as you think. Men fantasize about this all the time. But for most men, that's usually where it stays, in the fantasy realm.
Anyhoo, back to the question at hand.
It honestly depends on the relationship. If it's an open one, it's really not a big deal. However, being in a MONOGAMOUS relationship changes things a bit. Women find it hard enough to compete with women. But factor in a man that's been with men. There's something they have that we'll never have. We'll constantly wonder which you like more. And we'll also wonder if you miss what we never had. And as I just said, we already compete with other women. So now it'll be like competing with both sexes. It really is a lot of pressure. It takes an extremely secure woman to be comfortable dating a bisexual man. It'll always be in the back of our minds. People are apprehensive about their significant others having close friends of the opposite sex. All friends of opposite sex in our lives were at some point in our lives potential candidates for sex, whether we realize it or not. And even if it's for a brief moment or even just a fleeting thought. It's human nature to be that way. So imagine your boyfriend who is attracted to both men and women spending loads of times with his male friends. The wheels will churn. It takes a lot of trust for someone to date anyone who is bisexual. Our minds are our own worst enemy, so we automatically go to the worst case scenario.
And that goes for anyone who's in a monogamous relationship with someone that is bisexual, not just women dating bisexual men. Unless the relationship is an open one, those doubts and apprehensions will always be there.
Some people just can't put that amount of energy into a relationship, which is fine. There's nothing wrong with knowing that about ourselves.
But that's the psychological aspect of it. When someone is really secure in what they have, they shouldn't see their [insert sexual orientation here] boyfriend/girlfriend. They should see their special someone for who they are and as the person they love. And if you're secure, regardless of who they may have preferred in the past, take comfort in the fact that you're the one they choose to be with.
Anyhoo, back to the question at hand.
It honestly depends on the relationship. If it's an open one, it's really not a big deal. However, being in a MONOGAMOUS relationship changes things a bit. Women find it hard enough to compete with women. But factor in a man that's been with men. There's something they have that we'll never have. We'll constantly wonder which you like more. And we'll also wonder if you miss what we never had. And as I just said, we already compete with other women. So now it'll be like competing with both sexes. It really is a lot of pressure. It takes an extremely secure woman to be comfortable dating a bisexual man. It'll always be in the back of our minds. People are apprehensive about their significant others having close friends of the opposite sex. All friends of opposite sex in our lives were at some point in our lives potential candidates for sex, whether we realize it or not. And even if it's for a brief moment or even just a fleeting thought. It's human nature to be that way. So imagine your boyfriend who is attracted to both men and women spending loads of times with his male friends. The wheels will churn. It takes a lot of trust for someone to date anyone who is bisexual. Our minds are our own worst enemy, so we automatically go to the worst case scenario.
And that goes for anyone who's in a monogamous relationship with someone that is bisexual, not just women dating bisexual men. Unless the relationship is an open one, those doubts and apprehensions will always be there.
Some people just can't put that amount of energy into a relationship, which is fine. There's nothing wrong with knowing that about ourselves.
But that's the psychological aspect of it. When someone is really secure in what they have, they shouldn't see their [insert sexual orientation here] boyfriend/girlfriend. They should see their special someone for who they are and as the person they love. And if you're secure, regardless of who they may have preferred in the past, take comfort in the fact that you're the one they choose to be with.
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Active Ink Slinger
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Well, I think it is way to generalistic to say it this way.
I have had a boyfriend who was bisexual, no problem at all to me.
We had a great MMF threesome
Actually I never felt it the way Slippery says. I never felt an 'extra' competition.
We talked about the guys he fancied and we didn't have an open relationship.
I don't see why it is like an extra risk to date a bi guy, besides the fact that there are more options for the bi guy ;).
If a person wants to cheat, he or she will cheat, bi or no bi has nothing to do with that.
I have had a boyfriend who was bisexual, no problem at all to me.
We had a great MMF threesome
Actually I never felt it the way Slippery says. I never felt an 'extra' competition.
We talked about the guys he fancied and we didn't have an open relationship.
I don't see why it is like an extra risk to date a bi guy, besides the fact that there are more options for the bi guy ;).
If a person wants to cheat, he or she will cheat, bi or no bi has nothing to do with that.
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Lurker
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Definitely a generalisation that it's a deal breaker for women - it's not.
I understand the whole competition thing and the emotional hang ups but if someone makes me feel that way, they're not boyfriend material regardless of whether they are straight or bi.
If I'm attracted to and want to be with someone, their sexuality isn't going to stop me.
Naughty_Nurse said it perfectly: If a person wants to cheat, he or she will cheat, bi or not bi has nothing to do with it.
I understand the whole competition thing and the emotional hang ups but if someone makes me feel that way, they're not boyfriend material regardless of whether they are straight or bi.
If I'm attracted to and want to be with someone, their sexuality isn't going to stop me.
Naughty_Nurse said it perfectly: If a person wants to cheat, he or she will cheat, bi or not bi has nothing to do with it.
Active Ink Slinger
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I just dont want a guy who has had his dick in another man ..
Active Ink Slinger
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To be honest, it doesn't matter to me. If they don't cheat I couldn't care less about their sexuality. And to say that it would bother me would be very hypocritical as I am also bisexual.
Lurker
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The presumption I take gentle umbrage with folks ,is a common thread in what you are all describing: You percieve us bisexuals as promiscuous and yet that doesnt always apply.
I mean I look at myself. I am monogamous.
When I am with a woman as a "man", she is mine and I hers.
If that relationship ends, well, I might "switch" I usually have done so.
But I was always faithful.
yes folks, just lay it on the table:
Anthropologically there is an ICK factor for straight women with Bi males.
I have always sensed that. there will always be a percieved inadequacy because How can she possibly be fucked so very good, by a male who has, and perhaps in another relationship, will: Suck Penises and take penises in their ass.
Yeah, his cock pumping in you is turning your pussy to magic mush and you are ready to burst into a cloud of stars with pleasure but you catch that glimpse of my face and you can't reconcile that in that instant you see me with a drool of semen on my chin!
Its a mess!
I mean when I pronounced myself bi sexual in college I was at times of course viewed as an unctuous, potential disease vector by straight women, and yet there were out "gays" who gave me flack for not accepting my true but latent homosexuality, they viewed my desire for sex with women as a form of denial.
At the time in retrospect, they were absoutely right inasmuch as the crunchy bi chicks that lay with me as an experiment to piss off their mommies and daddies were in promiscuous supply.
I had to prove i could seduce women.
I don't know. Bi is wierd.
Bi presents complications that must be learned.
Bi can be a lovely thing.
But it can also be a lonely thing for a while if you conduct yourself like a lech
you as a bi,
will be a pariah.
(unless you tell them of your tortured childhood dream of wanting to be a priest, then they might fuck you one time, out of pity!)
Be well all
be loved
ONASANDS
I mean I look at myself. I am monogamous.
When I am with a woman as a "man", she is mine and I hers.
If that relationship ends, well, I might "switch" I usually have done so.
But I was always faithful.
yes folks, just lay it on the table:
Anthropologically there is an ICK factor for straight women with Bi males.
I have always sensed that. there will always be a percieved inadequacy because How can she possibly be fucked so very good, by a male who has, and perhaps in another relationship, will: Suck Penises and take penises in their ass.
Yeah, his cock pumping in you is turning your pussy to magic mush and you are ready to burst into a cloud of stars with pleasure but you catch that glimpse of my face and you can't reconcile that in that instant you see me with a drool of semen on my chin!
Its a mess!
I mean when I pronounced myself bi sexual in college I was at times of course viewed as an unctuous, potential disease vector by straight women, and yet there were out "gays" who gave me flack for not accepting my true but latent homosexuality, they viewed my desire for sex with women as a form of denial.
At the time in retrospect, they were absoutely right inasmuch as the crunchy bi chicks that lay with me as an experiment to piss off their mommies and daddies were in promiscuous supply.
I had to prove i could seduce women.
I don't know. Bi is wierd.
Bi presents complications that must be learned.
Bi can be a lovely thing.
But it can also be a lonely thing for a while if you conduct yourself like a lech
you as a bi,
will be a pariah.
(unless you tell them of your tortured childhood dream of wanting to be a priest, then they might fuck you one time, out of pity!)
Be well all
be loved
ONASANDS