Okay so. My lover and I got really drunk last weekend and I don't know why, but things escalated to ass play and it normally does not do that. I have told him that I find asses gross and therefore it is generally left untouched, but he started to finger my anus and then told me he had a vibrator and brought it out. This is did not surprise me *much* because he is bisexual, it just put me off guard because I figured he'd keep that from me. I did not stop him doing this however because I was drunk, and it did feel nice until I felt the ripping.
I will say that he did not get lube out for a bit and thus the vibrator, and his penis rammed me a few times without any help. I'm a rather tight girl. I tense my ass a lot and I do squats, so I can see my I would bleed and be ripped. However, my question is not why it happened.
My question is this:
I would like to experiment with this idea, but I do not know how to make anal a less painful experience nearing the beginning (other than lube, which kind of helped but not really) and should I also be concerned that he misses fooling around with other males?
Thanks.
My first concern would be this ripping and bleeding you mention. That is not the norm in anal play. You should get that checked out before anything else. Squats would not affect anal play they tighten your ass cheeks not your sphincter. There are several threads relating to ass play and tips, main one being to relax, go slow , be patient and use lube. You kinda missed all those. Any sort of pain or discomfort, let alone ripping should have been a major alarm bell for your partner to stop.
If your lover is bisexual, he should have known to use lube right from the beginning, and not be so rough that it would 'rip' you. I can't understand why he would do that with the experience he's had. Honestly, I wouldn't be letting him touch me there again until you BOTH are clear on what the best preparation is. Using a condom might be something to think about too.
Well first of all, they were both really drunk. What we "know" and what we "should" do often flies out the window when drunk. Anal ripping can happen even under the best of conditions given any number of circumstances. So for me, that is not really an issue. JUST BE CAREFUL. And when when either partner has pain, ripping, or tenderness of any kind, it is best to ASK if it is ok before continuing. Heck, this often happens with vaginal sex too. Women DO get small cuts, abrasions, etc. (as can a man with his penis). It is not by default the sign of an uncaring lover, it may be, but it also may be the sign of passionate sex and while it is happening both partners just don't notice it as much as they will later.
Personally I would chalk this one up to normal drunk sex. And I would talk to him about it and say "we" should try to avoid some of this in the future, and make sure X and Y (or KY LOL.. sorry could not resist) is done first. ;)
Well, I also don't think this is 'normal' drunk sex actually... Ramming it in with no lube, ripping..... sounds very painful.
He should use loads of lube and take his time to relax you. Start with massaging for example, it really helps and make it a much more enjoyable experience.
And as Trinket said; get information before trying it again, it must be pleasurable for the both of you. Information you can find here in several treads.
And why do you think he is missing the fooling around with other guys?
Loads of men simply love anal sex, that has nothing to do with being bisexual. If it worries you, just ask him and don't be afraid of the answer.
Succes!
When I said "normal drunk sex" I meant without full thought and not doing things you normally would when sober. Nothing more, nothing less. I was not trying to insinuate that "normal drunk sex" was rough and uncaring; or that it is normal drunk sex to shove your dick in a girl's ass without lube and use a vibrator without lube or plenty of natural lubrication.
What I meant, and was not clear about (I apologize), is that people often do things in ways they would NOT do when sober, or even things they simply would not do when sober, when they are drunk. That was my point. He may very well know that using plenty of lube is the ideal way to do it, but when drunk....... that was my point. Thanks. So IMO still, normal drunk sex; where people are not using their heads.
Ask him not to misbehave with your ass and use some lube, saliva may do, before he enters your tight ass.