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ok this happens a lot :/ so any advice on how to tell if you could ever be more than just friends?
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how can you tell if a girl actually likes you?
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Cryptic Vigilante
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Body language or her general way of acting give the most cues. Different girls can act totally differently though, depending if they actually want you to know they like you, or prefer to hide it for some contextual reasons ; sometimes girls don't know how to act it out too, but can still give hints through their hesitation. It also depends a lot on their personality.
For girls that want to let you know purposely, they'll stand close to you, lean toward you (sometimes to show cleavage), touch you, look at you with flirty eyes, smile a lot, talk to you with a sultry voice, etc. If a girl really wants to let you know she likes you, you'll surely know one way or the other ; if you don't, her hints are just going to get bigger and bigger anyway.
Most girls are a bit more hesitant though, for many reasons ; some don't want to expose their love before they're actually certain you love them too, some like to play 'hard-to-get', some are being solicited by another guy and don't want to 'betray' him, etc. This can vary a lot from one girl to another, but most of the time you can figure it out because they'll somehow act differently with you than with other guys.
Some can be cold and not too prone to initiate a conversation or compliment you, even if they're very outgoing and open with other guys. They can also show signs of discomfort or shyness, and display random tics (playing with their hair, avoiding eye contact, being self-conscious, etc). If you're with other people, you might also feel like they 'observe' you, more so than other guys. Again, some girls like to play 'hard-to-get' and can be especially rude, mean or distant with you in an almost exaggerated manner ; they can act that way out of many reasons which would be too long to describe here.
Of course a lot of this can lead to confusion ; for example girls can be cold, rude or distant simply because they totally dislike you. If you're an ugly insistent moron and a girl is being mean with you, it would be a great mistake to think "That girl is so into me! Look how she's playing hard-to-get!". But if you're just a bit decent, both in looks and personality, and act decently too, chances are they're attracted to you.
Also, some girls like to be flirtatious just for the fun of it, and won't really have a special interest with you even if they're showing obvious hints. These girls simply enjoy figuring out which guys they can or can't seduce, often times to boost their ego. These girls are flirtatious with just about anyone though, so they're not really hard to spot in a social context.
For girls that want to let you know purposely, they'll stand close to you, lean toward you (sometimes to show cleavage), touch you, look at you with flirty eyes, smile a lot, talk to you with a sultry voice, etc. If a girl really wants to let you know she likes you, you'll surely know one way or the other ; if you don't, her hints are just going to get bigger and bigger anyway.
Most girls are a bit more hesitant though, for many reasons ; some don't want to expose their love before they're actually certain you love them too, some like to play 'hard-to-get', some are being solicited by another guy and don't want to 'betray' him, etc. This can vary a lot from one girl to another, but most of the time you can figure it out because they'll somehow act differently with you than with other guys.
Some can be cold and not too prone to initiate a conversation or compliment you, even if they're very outgoing and open with other guys. They can also show signs of discomfort or shyness, and display random tics (playing with their hair, avoiding eye contact, being self-conscious, etc). If you're with other people, you might also feel like they 'observe' you, more so than other guys. Again, some girls like to play 'hard-to-get' and can be especially rude, mean or distant with you in an almost exaggerated manner ; they can act that way out of many reasons which would be too long to describe here.
Of course a lot of this can lead to confusion ; for example girls can be cold, rude or distant simply because they totally dislike you. If you're an ugly insistent moron and a girl is being mean with you, it would be a great mistake to think "That girl is so into me! Look how she's playing hard-to-get!". But if you're just a bit decent, both in looks and personality, and act decently too, chances are they're attracted to you.
Also, some girls like to be flirtatious just for the fun of it, and won't really have a special interest with you even if they're showing obvious hints. These girls simply enjoy figuring out which guys they can or can't seduce, often times to boost their ego. These girls are flirtatious with just about anyone though, so they're not really hard to spot in a social context.
Lurker
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Serene was very thorough.
Since a lot of that relies on you interpreting things correctly - my advice is to not rely on your interpretations and rely on the straight forward.
Do you like her?
If the answer is yes, then ask her, "Do you like me?"
Start there. Have a conversation so you don't end up like the idiot who is interpreting his neighbors laundry for clues.
Since a lot of that relies on you interpreting things correctly - my advice is to not rely on your interpretations and rely on the straight forward.
Do you like her?
If the answer is yes, then ask her, "Do you like me?"
Start there. Have a conversation so you don't end up like the idiot who is interpreting his neighbors laundry for clues.
Lurker
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If she sees you and doesn't start running in the opposite direction, chances are she thinks you're ok. 
Big-haired Bitch
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She'll let you touch her boobies. There's really no mistaking such a gesture.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Cryptic Vigilante
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Quote by Metilda
Serene was very thorough.
Since a lot of that relies on you interpreting things correctly - my advice is to not rely on your interpretations and rely on the straight forward.
Do you like her?
If the answer is yes, then ask her, "Do you like me?"
Start there. Have a conversation so you don't end up like the idiot who is interpreting his neighbors laundry for clues.
I disagree with this. Often times in seduction, people will not have a definitive opinion about the other person and will want to let things flow a bit more naturally before going the straight forward route. This is the point of seduction, in my opinion. Although a girl might show signs of an initial interest, she might not be ready to be asked out on a date right away, as she might want to know you a bit better first.
This is how seduction works : I noticed you / I noticed you too, I appreciate you / I appreciate you too, I like you / I like you too, etc. What you want to do is figure out at which stage the relationship currently is and pursue subtle moves to make it to the next level. A guy who masters this and acts it out with a comfortable pace will be perceived as intelligent, experienced, attentive and respectful, which will make him even more desirable along that chain of events.
This is also a way to obtain feedback for your initial interpretations ; if a colleague seems to appreciate you, you ask her out for lunch and she answers positively with a smile, you can determine that she indeed appreciates you.
If a girl is still at the stage of "I noticed you" or "I appreciate you" and you straightforwardly ask her "Do you like me?", she might feel quite uncomfortable and not know how to answer ; maybe she saw the possibility of a potential love partner, but isn't so sure about her definitive feelings at the moment. I also believe most girls enjoy the romance provoked by the uncertainty of seduction, and a guy who's too straight forward and litteral might be perceived as a romantic turn-off. Girls like a bit of a challenge too ; a guy that can be a bit patient/distant and not too pushy will be perceived as a valuable prospect rather than a random needy pretender.
Of course you don't want to play a mystery game eternally either, and will need to make the relation evolve at appropriate times :
If a girl 'noticed' you, start a conversation with her to make her 'appreciate' you ;
if she 'appreciates' you, ask her if she would like to go out for lunch/coffee to make her 'like' you ;
if she 'likes' you, ask her out on a more serious date to make her 'love' you ;
if she 'loves' you, remove her goddamn panties to make her 'fuck' you.
This is of course a general guideline for a romantic long-term relationship. With a fuck buddy, you might only need her to appreciate you before she let's you remove her panties. Also, this whole process can sometimes take quite a while (a few weeks/months), while other times it can happen in the span of only a few hours (meeting a girl through mutual friends, conversing with her and exchanging numbers for a semi-serious date).
Wild at Heart
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Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
She'll let you touch her boobies. There's really no mistaking such a gesture.
I was just about to say... She'll grab your dick. But this is true too.
Lurker
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If she tries to slap you in the face, but can't do it. Good sign! (A little risk involved!!!)
Site administrator
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omg all these years perhaps my theory has been wrong .. I have always thought its when she buys the beer and the crisps .. damn it.
Lurker
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Quote by SereneProdigy
I disagree with this. Often times in seduction, people will not have a definitive opinion about the other person and will want to let things flow a bit more naturally before going the straight forward route. This is the point of seduction, in my opinion. Although a girl might show signs of an initial interest, she might not be ready to be asked out on a date right away, as she might want to know you a bit better first.
This is how seduction works : I noticed you / I noticed you too, I appreciate you / I appreciate you too, I like you / I like you too, etc. What you want to do is figure out at which stage the relationship currently is and pursue subtle moves to make it to the next level. A guy who masters this and acts it out with a comfortable pace will be perceived as intelligent, experienced, attentive and respectful, which will make him even more desirable along that chain of events.
This is also a way to obtain feedback for your initial interpretations ; if a colleague seems to appreciate you, you ask her out for lunch and she answers positively with a smile, you can determine that she indeed appreciates you.
If a girl is still at the stage of "I noticed you" or "I appreciate you" and you straightforwardly ask her "Do you like me?", she might feel quite uncomfortable and not know how to answer ; maybe she saw the possibility of a potential love partner, but isn't so sure about her definitive feelings at the moment. I also believe most girls enjoy the romance provoked by the uncertainty of seduction, and a guy who's too straight forward and litteral might be perceived as a romantic turn-off. Girls like a bit of a challenge too ; a guy that can be a bit patient/distant and not too pushy will be perceived as a valuable prospect rather than a random needy pretender.
Of course you don't want to play a mystery game eternally either, and will need to make the relation evolve at appropriate times :
If a girl 'noticed' you, start a conversation with her to make her 'appreciate' you ;
if she 'appreciates' you, ask her if she would like to go out for lunch/coffee to make her 'like' you ;
if she 'likes' you, ask her out on a more serious date to make her 'love' you ;
if she 'loves' you, remove her goddamn panties to make her 'fuck' you.
This is of course a general guideline for a romantic long-term relationship. With a fuck buddy, you might only need her to appreciate you before she let's you remove her panties. Also, this whole process can sometimes take quite a while (a few weeks/months), while other times it can happen in the span of only a few hours (meeting a girl through mutual friends, conversing with her and exchanging numbers for a semi-serious date).
Okay. Well maybe that's all good and well if she's indecisive or shy.
I preferred upfront and direct as that's how I like my men and my life. I never played games or went through some lengthy BS. Odds are - I was the one to bring up something first rather than letting everything stew in the ether.
Cryptic Vigilante
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Quote by Metilda
Okay. Well maybe that's all good and well if she's indecisive or shy.
I preferred upfront and direct as that's how I like my men and my life. I never played games or went through some lengthy BS. Odds are - I was the one to bring up something first rather than letting everything stew in the ether.
Thing is, asking a girl out reveals just as much as asking directly 'Do you like me?', but the situation would be much less awkward in the case of rejection. Maybe in your case both you and your partner showed obvious hints of mutual attraction, and the chances of rejection were very low. But in my experience, everything is not always black or white with girls, especially when they're looking for a serious long-term relationship.
And I don't think seduction is necessarily lengthy BS ; at least I don't pursue it that way. I would never let a girl believe that I like her if I don't, just to tease her or boost my ego. If I like her I make it clear that I do, but also don't build false hopes letting her believe she's the one-and-only. The fact that I like her at the moment doesn't necessarily mean it will lead to profound eternal love ; to expose this is just being honest and is made exactly to avoid any BS. In return, the girl has the same rights to express some form of restraint toward me. This process takes as long as it needs before we can both express our definitive mutual 'love'.
Lurker
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Maybe this should be in the 'Ask The Guys' section as some guys think they know more about this subject than the Girls do 
Cryptic Vigilante
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Quote by Kimasa
Maybe this should be in the 'Ask The Guys' section as some guys think they know more this than the Girls do
Not that I want to sound pretentious or anything, but I do believe I have more experience at observing visual cues than a lot of girls here. Girls can surely give a better insight about how they feel internally, but they might not be completely aware about how they actually appear externally.
It's not like I'm 'stealing' anyone's place with my posts anyway ; girls are free to answer the original question or comment on what I said, but so far only a few were interested to do so.
Active Ink Slinger
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She wants to talk to you for no reason 
*or she sucks your dick* If your dick is in her mouth....she probably digs you!!
*or she sucks your dick* If your dick is in her mouth....she probably digs you!!
Active Ink Slinger
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*She wants to communicate with you a lot: Texting, Calling, Emails, Messages etc
*She gives you compliments ranging from something small to something major. "You have a great laugh" or "Wow I can't believe you did ________ the other day, that was amazing/fantastic etc"
*She will start to dress up more. I don't know if anyone does this but when I started to hang out with my lover I started to wear nicer clothes, do my hair in a different style, change my deodorant etc. Subtle changes to see if he was noticed.
*Flirts with you, looking into your eyes and saying something witty or make reference to personal jokes.
*Finds reasons to touch you.
*She gives you compliments ranging from something small to something major. "You have a great laugh" or "Wow I can't believe you did ________ the other day, that was amazing/fantastic etc"
*She will start to dress up more. I don't know if anyone does this but when I started to hang out with my lover I started to wear nicer clothes, do my hair in a different style, change my deodorant etc. Subtle changes to see if he was noticed.
*Flirts with you, looking into your eyes and saying something witty or make reference to personal jokes.
*Finds reasons to touch you.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Kimasa
Maybe this should be in the 'Ask The Guys' section as some guys think they know more this than the Girls do
I agree with you there Kimasa, seriously there is a reason why "Crowd Source" was made so both sexes could answer together.
It is rather annoying to see GUYS answering questions in ASK THE GIRLS when it wasn't aimed for them to answer. There is a section for GUYS to answer questions and it is in ASK THE GUYS.
Alpha Blonde
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Quote by Sirene_Jaune
*She wants to communicate with you a lot: Texting, Calling, Emails, Messages etc.
This is probably the biggest one if you're looking for "does she like me right now" rather than do I have potential down the road. If she's not responding to these things within 24 hrs, chances are high that she's not that into you. That doesn't mean you don't have potential to spark some interest later on at some point but just that there's no current crush/desire there.
Lurker
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Quote by SereneProdigy
Thing is, asking a girl out reveals just as much as asking directly 'Do you like me?', but the situation would be much less awkward in the case of rejection. Maybe in your case both you and your partner showed obvious hints of mutual attraction, and the chances of rejection were very low. But in my experience, everything is not always black or white with girls, especially when they're looking for a serious long-term relationship.
And I don't think seduction is necessarily lengthy BS ; at least I don't pursue it that way. I would never let a girl believe that I like her if I don't, just to tease her or boost my ego. If I like her I make it clear that I do, but also don't build false hopes letting her believe she's the one-and-only. The fact that I like her at the moment doesn't necessarly mean it will lead to profound eternal love ; to expose this is just being honest and is made exactly to avoid any BS. In return, the girl has the same rights to express some form of restraint toward me. This process takes as long as it needs before we can both express our definitive mutual 'love'.
You're talking far beyond 'liking' someone, though. Do you see the difference? Your talking about how to play a game and get to the ultimate goal of sex. He just asked how do you know a girl digs you. To which only a sliver of your replies count.
Some might go for your approach - you just have to understand that some girls don't want that. I would not want that. I am not the only one, either.
Maybe all the girls you've been with we're okay with that because you just weren't attracted to the type who was more forward and upfront in life, generally speaking. I would not have been, it would have been obnoxious and irritating at best.
So just add it to your list of multiple approaches: "some girls like to be approached without bells and whistles and 'seduction' agendas." This type of girl would be very put off. Not being stupid, this type of girl would have seen what you were doing around step two.
If you're worried about rejection your approach makes no sense - up to a certain point you have to have this conversation about mutual attraction between two people. I mean, seriously? At some point the 'discovering mystery' has to stop.
Lurker
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Quote by Sirene_Jaune
*She wants to communicate with you a lot: Texting, Calling, Emails, Messages etc
*She gives you compliments ranging from something small to something major. "You have a great laugh" or "Wow I can't believe you did ________ the other day, that was amazing/fantastic etc"
*She will start to dress up more. I don't know if anyone does this but when I started to hang out with my lover I started to wear nicer clothes, do my hair in a different style, change my deodorant etc. Subtle changes to see if he was noticed.
*Flirts with you, looking into your eyes and saying something witty or make reference to personal jokes.
*Finds reasons to touch you.
Yes - I'm more like this. . . and I don't imagine that any of this is 'subtle' and 'possibly to even miss' - to me this is very blunt and straight forward.
Changes in one's behavior that lean toward being more appealing, together more, etc = affection / attraction. Of course, I'm still more likely to just come out and say something like, "Hey, sexy, what's up?"
It's very simple, in my view.
Quote by wizards96
ok this happens a lot :/ so any advice on how to tell if you could ever be more than just friends?
Looking at your pics in your profile in a non-pervy way: I think you'd have the opposite issue - being unable to find a girl who genuinely likes YOU for YOU and not that body of yours.
Which, being bold and upfront as I am, is fucking amazing.
I think, if I was around you, I would wonder how to tell if you liked me. I would likely cross the line and just reach out and touch you just to see what your response was. Nothing horrendously lewd, but maybe stroke your back in a friendly gesture and let my hand linger during a conversation or something of that sort.
The physical-touch approach worked pretty well for me in the past to discern if a guy found me appealing, because most guys don't hide their interest after such a thing.
You're in that 'ideal-male' spectrum, which might make girls more nervous when around you, and if the girl is a bit immature or young, she might just act like a bit of an idiot instead of being able to talk.
Big-haired Bitch
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Actually, the communication thing is really the biggest indicator (after the initial meeting/introduction). She may be into you in a certain moment in a certain setting, but whether she interacts with you beyond that is really what you should go on. Some connections are instant and some take time. If she's taking forever to respond to all of your attempts at communication, then she's really not that into you. Granted, we play coy sometimes and may or may not respond right away so as not to seem desperate, but if she's making it a point to interact with you, then that's the biggest sign.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Scarlet Seductress
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Quote by Magical_felix
I was just about to say... She'll grab your dick. But this is true too.
There you are, strolling around the supermarket doing your weekly shop when you spot a rather delicious looking blonde reaching for a jar of coffee.
"Allow me," you say in your most suave and sophisticated voice as you hand her one from the shelf.
Before you even have the opportunity to strike up a conversation and find out what her name is, her hand is on your junk!
I want to go shopping with you
Lurker
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just thought id say thanks for all the advice from everyone, its been a massive help and its great to see all the support on lush, thanks again everyone 
Cryptic Vigilante
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There's a lot I would like to respond to since my last post, but sadly it seems my responses here are not much appreciated.
I'll say this to the OP though : in the end, it all comes down to contextual interpretation anyway. All we can do is provide general guidelines for what to look after, but a lot of it can be misinterpreted. Hopefully you'll learn how to figure things out by your own in real life situations, but in the meantime don't feel ashamed if you make mistakes and look completely silly at times. That's the only way to learn ; I've been there myself.
I had times where girls were very friendly to me, initiating conversations every day and touching me a lot, but it turned out they were only affectionate ladies who loved human contacts and had zero interest in me. Other times at workplaces, bombshell secretaries were very mean and distant for months, yet suddenly threw themselves at me when they had enough and figured their hard-to-get game was simply leading nowhere.
With experience, you'll slowly start to recognize patterns behind women's behaviours ; as I've said, their cues should not be evaluated on their own but according to the context and their relative personality.
Good luck.
I'll say this to the OP though : in the end, it all comes down to contextual interpretation anyway. All we can do is provide general guidelines for what to look after, but a lot of it can be misinterpreted. Hopefully you'll learn how to figure things out by your own in real life situations, but in the meantime don't feel ashamed if you make mistakes and look completely silly at times. That's the only way to learn ; I've been there myself.
I had times where girls were very friendly to me, initiating conversations every day and touching me a lot, but it turned out they were only affectionate ladies who loved human contacts and had zero interest in me. Other times at workplaces, bombshell secretaries were very mean and distant for months, yet suddenly threw themselves at me when they had enough and figured their hard-to-get game was simply leading nowhere.
With experience, you'll slowly start to recognize patterns behind women's behaviours ; as I've said, their cues should not be evaluated on their own but according to the context and their relative personality.
Good luck.
Lurker
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Quote by SereneProdigy
Not that I want to sound pretentious or anything, but I do believe I have more experience at observing visual cues than a lot of girls here. Girls can surely give a better insight about how they feel internally, but they might not be completely aware about how they actually appear externally.
It's not like I'm 'stealing' anyone's place with my posts anyway ; girls are free to answer the original question or comment on what I said, but so far only a few were interested to do so.
All of your answers make you sound pretentious . That's just my opinion I've gotten from your written text. I'm more straight forward, I'll tell you when you have diahrea of the mouth.
Lurker
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Law 4
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
Lurker
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Quote by Choosiemamma
All of your answers make you sound pretentious . That's just my opinion I've gotten from your written text. I'm more straight forward, I'll tell you when you have diahrea of the mouth.
=d> Sometimes the obvious needs to be stated.
Lurker
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Quote by roymunson101
=d> Sometimes the obvious needs to be stated.
AMEN!
Cheeky Chick
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Quote by Liz
There you are, strolling around the supermarket doing your weekly shop when you spot a rather delicious looking blonde reaching for a jar of coffee.
"Allow me," you say in your most suave and sophisticated voice as you hand her one from the shelf.
Before you even have the opportunity to strike up a conversation and find out what her name is, her hand is on your junk!
I want to go shopping with you
Can I walk up to you, and grab your boobs?
Lurker
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It's about her being receptive. If she enjoys being with you, talking and listening to you, she likes you.
That doesn't mean she wants sex with you, she might just find you very interesting and enjoy your company.
Then again she might be waiting for you to move things forward
That doesn't mean she wants sex with you, she might just find you very interesting and enjoy your company.
Then again she might be waiting for you to move things forward
