Good Morning Ladies,
I've been with my wonderful lady for almost a year now, love her to death and couldn't imagine myself being with anyone different.
The sex is great, and the best I've ever had. She's definitely much more experienced than me by pure numbers alone. I'm not a newbie by any means, but I want to spice things up a bit. She's hinted about there being a lack of romance, and that "it really turns her on when I say, lets go have sex" (strong sarcasm here, lol).
I would really like to introduce new ways to get romantic with my lovely lady, and aside from a massage or something along those lines, I'm not sure what to do. I make a decent living, but am not made of money, so I can't do extravagant ordeals for her, someday I will, but that isn't right now.
So ladies, I'm asking you. What gets you in the mood?!
Mike
And remember...good conversation leads to excellent sex
-Little Bambi
If you read some of the stories here you might get some ideas. There are links on the home page to categories for love poems and love stories.
You don't need money. Get home from work before her one day, prepare dinner, set the table with tablecloth, nice cutlery, wine glasses.. a couple of candles... Light some candles in the bathroom and draw a bath for her, sprinkle it with some rose petals. I would MUCH rather this than a huge bunch of flowers.
You might want to do the candle and rose petal thing in the bedroom too. She will be like putty in your hands because you made the effort to make her feel special.
Plan little surprises for her, write something sweet on a card and put it somewhere she will find it later etc...
Phone her in the middle of the day to say hi or I love you if you don't normally do that. It really is the little things that count.
Getting her in the mood should be a mutual thing brought on by the moment and emotionally ready. Its all a matter of communication and alteration of time
It's a huge deal to me when he does things for me that I don't have to ask him to do. I'm very busy and have so much going on that when he cleans the house or tends to something big, I appreciate it. He loves telling me I'm beautiful and complimenting me; however it means more to me when he shows me that he cares through being thoughtful.
But there are several languages of love, you have to tune in to what she responds to: words, actions, gifts, quality time or physical touch. What gets her going might be different than another woman or the way you're most comfortable demonstrating it. At least you're thinking about it. Good luck.
Hi Mike, I know you were asking for input from the women, but thought I would add some thoughts on what has worked for me over the years.
I think the primary elements are variety and finding those opportunities where she can really tell that you stepped out of your routine to make a special effort totally focused on her and what she likes. That could mean simply making her dinner and picking up a dvd that SHE would really enjoy, unless that is something you do all the time.
Here are a couple of things that I have done over the years to sort of set a special mood:
-left work a few hours early one day to clean and prepare our boat, chilled a bottle of champagne and raspberries (her favorite), picked up some simple appetizers at a catering place, left her a note of what to wear and to meet me at the boat (women tend to love getting notes that tell them only a hint of what you have in mind). She expressed her appreciation very physically while we were still on the boat!
-put a note in her bag when she was leaving on a business trip that expressed my feelings for her and how much I missed her. She loved the note and was really in the mood when she got home.
-we had reservations for a nice dinner one evening. I had bought some sexy lingerie for her that I knew she would enjoy and laid them on the bed for her to see when she got out of the shower, along with a note telling her that I loved her. I had just purchased a new little toy for the evening - a Lelo brand vibrator (they are really awesome!). Lelo includes a small pin with their logo in each of their products. I put the pin in an envelope with a note that I gave her toward the end of dinner - the note instructed her to go to the ladies room, remove her panties and hand them to me when she returns, and to be wearing the pin anywhere she chose (it's very tasteful and discreet). Trust me, at this point she was very curious and I knew she was also aroused, but you need to keep her in the dark. Later, when we got home, I told her that she could redeem her pin for a surprise just for her, and that she should meet me in her robe in the guest bedroom - I had prepared it with massage oil, laid a towel down on the bed and set the lights just right. When she came in, she handed me the pin - I didn't say anything except to tell her to lay down and enjoy the massage, and toward the end of the massage I pulled out the Lelo and used it all over her, ending with it inside her and giving her an incredible orgasm. Easily a top ten night of sex for me, and every once in a while when the pin appears, she can't help but get wet!
-buy the book, "101 Nights of Great Sex" - some of the ideas are incredible, some not, but it will really give you some ideas for setting the mood.
Good luck!
Thanks for all of the idea/advice guys! I really appreciate it!
And remember...good conversation leads to excellent sex
-Little Bambi
I've always thought the simple gestures are best. I'm easily pleased though. I think the others have the right ideas. Just make her feel extra special.
Also, if you want to tease her, try texting her a few semi dirty messages throughout the day, tell her you miss her, what you want to do to her. When you're both home, run a hot bath for you both and take it from there. That would make me happy. And not a single penny spent.
When my man says sexy things like, "Hey baby. I'm gonna go wash your car," it makes me wanna instantly drop to my knees...if you know what I mean.
Gestures don't have to be extravagant. Just anything that lets me know that you care goes a long way with me. It could be something as simple as making me a cup of tea if I'm up all night studying....or tidying up or something. It's not the gesture itself, but what the gesture represents that matters.
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