You're not overreacting. As harsh as this is gonna sound, she's probably just not that into you anymore and hasn't figured out how to communicate that to you, so she chooses to avoid you instead.
I say cut your losses (easier said than done, I know), and move on. There are some big warning signs going on here. Cutting your visits short, not even doing the minimal meet-ups on Skype. There are just so many, and if you put all the puzzle pieces together, you'll see the big picture.
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Adagio, could you please elaborate your logic as i dont quite get it?
She's simply grown bored of you or there is someone else she talks to long distance too, or someone she is interested in near her. The fact her friends don't know about you should tell you that you are just a time killer for her. Sorry if that's harsh but it's the truth. You're a time killer for her.
First of all, you're not overreacting. I've done the long distance thing before, and it's hard.
I want to know, how long have you been together? And why don’t her friends know she is dating you?
Any relationship takes work, everyone knows this. It’s even harder when it’s long distance and takes the work of both people to make it work. It can’t be up to just one person. It’s impossible.
Yes, a new job can make things harder. She’ll be working, and depending on the time zones that can count in. I’m not sure if it does in your case, but it can be a pain, if it is. But, if she can make the time to go out with her friends, why then can’t she make the time to spend time with you on Skype? Or when you go to visit her? You’d think she’d want to spend time with you, if you’re actually there, to touch, hold and be naughty with.
You’re 22 years old, in another country going to school and hoping to find a job. I’d cut your losses (again, easier said than done) either focus on your studies, or find someone local there where you are. This current girl isn’t giving her 100%. If you like her enough and want to make it work, than you need to suck it up and talk to her. Tell her how you feel, because that is what you do when you’re in an adult relationship. You need to learn to talk with one another.
If she is just stringing you along, too afraid to be grown and tell you she’s over you, then she needs to grow up. If she isn’t feeling that way, and isn’t telling you how she feels, she needs to grow up. You need to sit down and talk to her, be it on Skype or better yet, face to face when you go and visit. It’s easier to read someone when you’re looking at them person to person, rather than Skype cam to Skype cam. (I would know.)
But, as I said, you’re not overreacting; I’d feel the same way.
We are together for almost 6 months. Our brothers are good friends, met in uni and still visit one another. I suppose we dont want to risk that friendship in case we break up or something. For me?i dont care..they shouldnt have a say in our relationship neither stop talking or whatever if we break up. But i cant force things as i might have the opposite result. I agreed to tell them when she is ready(god knows when). Probably thats the reason her friends dont know, they know her brother as well as mine and shes afraid they might tell them(its so sad that i realize myself how poor this excuse is).
Even though im quite sure there is no other guy in the middle, Felix's answer gave me the chills..
I told her how i feel..and the answer is always the same, she loves me, wants to be with me but she cant be that committed cause of her work..She cant give her 100% and i knew that from the beginning.
She's using you. Plain and simple, she probably does care about you, which is why she won't just break it off, but instead she's just being aloof and unavailable. She's keeping you around to use when she wants, but wants her freedom the rest of the time. I would just tell her you see her game, and you're ending it. She'll either be relieved you're doing the breaking up for her (speaking from experience), or she'll realize what she lost when you're gone (let her realize it for a while if you consider getting back with her at all!). Good luck dude, tough break.
