hi Guys,
I've been researching for a story, trying to determine some of the thoughts that run through men's minds during an orgasm.
A common denominator in about 70% of the descriptions I've read over the internet is that at the most powerful point of the orgasm during sex or making love with a partner, some men feel the emotions of 'almost being in love' or strong feelings of love towards their partner.
Could you tell me if this is something that goes through your mind, and if not what other thoughts you have at the time?
***Ladies, I'm posting a similar question in Ask the Gals, if you wouldn't mind voting there instead of this poll***
Personally I think there's a huge difference in "having sex" and "making love". I also think there is a difference in the emotions felt before and after orgasm to the emotion during orgasm. At the point of orgasm the brain is taken out of the equation as the need to ejaculate takes over, it's as if nothing else matters.
It has definitely happened when I'm with someone I love or have a relationship with, though I'd say it's even more so after orgasm when we're having our post-coital cuddle. In fact, it may be tied as much to the intimacy as the orgasm because I've had intense feelings of love just during naked cuddles where sex didn't happen.
I have, however, had orgasms with women that were purely sex partners (e.g. "professional ladies") without much of an emotional bond and while it might make me feel strongly positive about them and the experience, it was not the same feeling of love.
There is, I believe, research suggesting that hormones released during sex/orgasm can boost men's ability to bond with their partner but I don't have any cites handy.
From memory (lol) I dont recall any specific thoughts. One is just enjoying the 'moment' for want of a better term/description. If however its not great then personally I would be thinking about steak and chips or maybe tea and cookies. I cant vote since steak and chips and/or tea and cookies arent an option .. sorry.
I wouldn't be with her if I didn't feel love at some level. Even for what most would have considered casual I had to feel some love.
It just makes it so much better for me.
I chose 'Yes', but as others said it's a little hard to describe.
As simplyjohn mentioned, I don't have any specific thoughts during an orgasm as I'm really 'in the moment' ; in fact, I could hardly find a situation where I'm more 'in the moment' than this.
I also don't really believe in the difference between "having sex" and "making love" like dpw mentioned, but that's just my personal perception of it ; to me, there's only "having sex" with different levels of love/affection implied. "Making love" sounds as if only love triggers my sexual cravings, which is a bit hypocrite to me. As much as I can love a woman, I also enjoy following my physical desires and fuck her hard and deep. Of course the experience will be a whole lot different with a woman I truly love as opposed to one I simply want to fuck, but I still don't perceive "having sex" vs "making love" as a black and white phenomenon. I should mention that the women I have sex with are generally women that I feel a certain level of affection/complicity with, so for me sex is almost never completely 'emotionless'. But that's just my pitiful romantic self speaking.
The way it is for me, is that I feel more and more affection for a lady as the whole sexual encounter progresses. First we're getting naked together, which already shows a certain mark of complicity and mutual reciprocity. Then I get to penetrate her, which just raises these mutual feelings even more. This is even true for casual sex where there's no real profound 'love' involved ; I wouldn't have casual sex with just anybody, so the lady involved will at least be a bit 'special' to me.
As I orgasm, I do feel like my affection is reaching a peak. Having an orgasm is probably the most pleasurable sensation a human being can experience, and to perceive a certain woman as the cause of this feeling surely raises my affection toward her to one could call 'momentary love'. The few moments after orgasm is achieved, I generally like to kiss/embrace my partner to express this feeling ; I also do this to 'thank her', in a way. Now it doesn't mean that this 'momentary love' will persist in time, but if the sex was any good this woman will still remain special to me. With a woman that I already deeply love, I'll perceive the orgasm as a continuation/reaffirmation of that love.
To be honest, I don't think the whole sexual process is much different for men than it is for women. Not for me at least.
really interesting question trinket.
For me, the feelings of love that occur during sex are more intense just before orgasm and again just afterwards, and they manifest themselves differently. Before orgasm, the feelings are so much about how incredible this woman makes me feel and how much I love being physical with her - it's all about those moments of anticipation where the mind is fully engaged about what is approaching, and the feelings of love at this point tend to be much more focused on love for the physical feelings of sex, love of her physical beauty, and love for the physical appearance of sexiness that she exhibits.
The feelings of love after orgasm are far more tender, emotional and "deep to the core" feelings of love. Incredibly intense, but in a far different way than the pre-orgasm feelings of love. Additionally, this is the moment where you can really assess the depth of your love for your partner - it's easy to feel some level of love leading up to an orgasm, but real feelings of deep love are those that persist immediately afterwards.
As far as feeling love during orgasm - I don't think that is the feeling at all. During orgasm, the feelings are far more basic and centered intensely on pure physical pleasure for myself and for her. It's not that the aura of love disappears, but more that my feelings of physical pleasure and desire to blow her mind both combine to supress any thoughts of love for those moments.
One of the most interesting questions I have seen in this forum!
None of the answers in the poll are good fits. Yes, strong feelings but not ones I would describe as loving, passionate but lacking in tenderness.
I would have picked two
Yes
and
Thinking?
As others have stated, there has to be some measure of, if not love then at least friendship, for it to be truly an enjoyable time.
Stating that, my most intense experiences have been with someone that I'm extremely close to, someone I love on one level or another.
The build up, the exploring each other with hands and lips and the joining are all intensified by those feelings. At the moment of orgasm, however, my brain pretty much shuts off as the pleasure becomes all encompassing. The after-glow; relaxing, soft kisses and the feather touches of my lovers hands re-intensify the feelings that lead up to that.
So, the act of making love itself as a whole brings us closer in our hearts - the orgasm itself is an empty minded state where pleasure is all and nothing else exists.
Well i am not sure if there are always feelings of love during an orgasm. Lets be honest here sometimes a fuck is just a fuck... I do agree with Jason about it being a more intense experience with someone you are close to, just because it is actually making love so you care more about each other. If i had to describe my personal experience it is either a feeling of becoming closer if you are making love or just relaxing and becoming oblivious if it is a fuck...
