in need of relationship advice (sexuality, virginity, and my boyfriend)

Lurker

0 likes 4 Nov 2013

I have a boyfriend and recently just celebrated a year together (off and on, unfortunately more off than we have been off more than on and I have moved away for college so we see each other a couple weekends out of the month at most.)
anyways, he asked me when we first got together if I was bi because my best friend at the time was gay, and it was rumored I was and I told him no, although I am, I just hadn't "came out of the closet" to almost anyone then. since then a couple of good friends no, but still not many, and not him. he has recently brought up why I havent had sex with him after so long of "being together". due to a few reasons, I am still a virgin. I have messed around with a guy or two but never went all the way. It honestly just hasn't interested me in going all the way. I have feelings for him, I love him, but that aspect hasn't even dawned on me until he brought it up. why? I don't know. I am attracted to men and him, but sex with him or any guy that has tried, always ends in a flat no.

I honestly don't know what I am even asking. I just don't know what to say or do about it? I feel like he is wasting his time with me some days. it could be that I am just not comfortable with myself? I'm not sure about any of it, and have been stressing about it all recently.

For the record, I am 19.

Guest

Lurker

0 likes 4 Nov 2013

Yeah, tough time....19. You already have the answer. And you know it. Be honest with yourself about who you are...deep down inside. If its gay...or at least bisexual...own it. Don't be ashamed. Nothing to be ashamed about. Unless you are true to yourself you have a constantly moving base and thats not good, right? Once you own it...whatever your conviction may be...live it, love it, celebrate it and go on with the rest of your life.

kylie_kained

Detention Seeker

0 likes 4 Nov 2013

At 19 you have all the time in the World for relationships with either sex. Doubting yourself with reference to sex as you are, go's to show that your still not ready to commit yourself fully. That's not a bad thing at all at your age you should be proud of the strength you have in waiting for the right person. You will instinctively know when your wife that person for sure.

dpw

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 4 Nov 2013

Well, this is awkward. Where to begin?
Firstly you've got to stop stressing, college is stressful enough without adding to it.
You're 19 and your mind is saying that you're not ready, listen to it, the worst thing you can do is force yourself. You will know when you want to progress.
Don't go labelling yourself, you'd be better saying you don't know. You'll come to find out where you are on the scale, it'll be a place that you're happy with.
As regards you're bf, I think you should talk to him, tell him that you're not ready yet. If he loves you he'll understand, if not then it was never meant to be.
Good luck.

Sexi_Lexi

Advanced Wordsmith

0 likes 14 Nov 2013

If he truly cares for you. He will wait until you are ready