Rookie Scribe
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Is it OK to have a fling even though married if sexually frustrated at home?
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Fling while married?
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Active Ink Slinger
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only if your spouse likes the idea
Wise Ass
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That's called cheating isn't it?
Would your wife approve of this? If so, BINGO you now have an open marriage.
You're welcome.
Would your wife approve of this? If so, BINGO you now have an open marriage.
You're welcome.
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker
[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
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I would first address the sexual issue
you look fairly young??
could it be you have young kids at home? she has a demanding job?
perhaps she too is slightly unhappy in the bedroom
to have great sex one must communicate
and that is the number one problem in a marriage
I would go to a sex therapist before I would cheat
you made vows to her..and this includes fidelity
however on HER part too
to love means to have sex
so if you are not getting any sex..then yes it is a HUGE issue
if you are getting it couple times a week that is sometimes marriage
but if you do cheat
remember what you may lose
her and YOUR life you have built together
I pray you don't..i pray you both get help and you find your way back together
you look fairly young??
could it be you have young kids at home? she has a demanding job?
perhaps she too is slightly unhappy in the bedroom
to have great sex one must communicate
and that is the number one problem in a marriage
I would go to a sex therapist before I would cheat
you made vows to her..and this includes fidelity
however on HER part too
to love means to have sex
so if you are not getting any sex..then yes it is a HUGE issue
if you are getting it couple times a week that is sometimes marriage
but if you do cheat
remember what you may lose
her and YOUR life you have built together
I pray you don't..i pray you both get help and you find your way back together
CurlyFries
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Quote by rjwi2008
Is it OK to have a fling even though married if sexually frustrated at home?
I think you should text this exact question to your spouse.
"Baby, as you know, I'm sexually frustrated, is it OK if I have a fling?"
Get back to us and let us know her response.
Would you be OK if she were to have a fling?
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by CurlyGirly
Would you be OK if she were to have a fling?
If it is ok, have her fling it at me.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Alpha Blonde
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Technically it's cheating and probably not 'ok' unless you have her consent, but it's ultimately up to you if you're willing to risk the potential consequences. Only you can answer that.
Active Ink Slinger
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If you do it without her OK it is cheating no matter what you want to call it. And I don't believe in cheating!
But what you do is your own business. Who am I to judge you!!
But what you do is your own business. Who am I to judge you!!
Rookie Scribe
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I've only thought about it, but I can't see myself ever actually doing it unless given permission. I'd feel too guilty. Just wanted to see what others thought.
CurlyFries
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Quote by lafayettemister
If it is ok, have her fling it at me.
Here you go...
run away...run away...run away...
(sorry, I can't help myself)
Active Ink Slinger
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I don't think I could cheat on my wife. She is awesome!
Lurker
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I've been wrestling with this idea for about 8 weeks now!! You can easily engage in adult talk here on lush with some naughty girls to help get you off, which could satisfy the need to pursue extra marital sex. However, there is a danger that you can connect with someone so well on here that it inevitably ends in discussing meeting up for real!!
Don't know about you lot but I'm drawn to danger!! I've been well behaved so far but I'm not sure how long I can hold out....
Don't know about you lot but I'm drawn to danger!! I've been well behaved so far but I'm not sure how long I can hold out....
Advanced Wordsmith
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OK. I know I will probably get a lot of flack about this
And let's not use the word "fling". A fling could be just a one night stand or a very casual 'hook-up'
I have had a few "EMR's" (Extra-Marital RELATIONSHIPS) and will admit feeling guilty but only about not feeling guilty. All my EMR's were with other married women. And for whatever reason they ventured outside their marriages, and besides the sex being amazing there was also urial respect, understanding and Ina couple there was also deep love for each other
And let's not use the word "fling". A fling could be just a one night stand or a very casual 'hook-up'
I have had a few "EMR's" (Extra-Marital RELATIONSHIPS) and will admit feeling guilty but only about not feeling guilty. All my EMR's were with other married women. And for whatever reason they ventured outside their marriages, and besides the sex being amazing there was also urial respect, understanding and Ina couple there was also deep love for each other
Advanced Wordsmith
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OK. I know I will probably get a lot of flack about this
And let's not use the word "fling". A fling could be just a one night stand or a very casual 'hook-up'
I have had a few "EMR's" (Extra-Marital RELATIONSHIPS) and will admit feeling guilty but only about not feeling guilty. All my EMR's were with other married women. And for whatever reason they ventured outside their marriages, and besides the sex being amazing there was also mutual respect, understanding and Ina couple there was also deep love for each other
And let's not use the word "fling". A fling could be just a one night stand or a very casual 'hook-up'
I have had a few "EMR's" (Extra-Marital RELATIONSHIPS) and will admit feeling guilty but only about not feeling guilty. All my EMR's were with other married women. And for whatever reason they ventured outside their marriages, and besides the sex being amazing there was also mutual respect, understanding and Ina couple there was also deep love for each other
Advanced Wordsmith
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Oops
Constant Gardener
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Quote by Dancing_Doll
Technically it's cheating and probably not 'ok' unless you have her consent, but it's ultimately up to you if you're willing to risk the potential consequences. Only you can answer that.
I've wrestled with those thoughts frequently in my life...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Lurker
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I get it, man. My wife and I went from once a day, to once a week, to once a month, to twice a year
I could understand if I was inattentive or let myself go.
When it dries up like that, you start asking questions.
I agree with the majority. You need to stick with it and communicate.
Anything else is cheating.
I could understand if I was inattentive or let myself go.
When it dries up like that, you start asking questions.
I agree with the majority. You need to stick with it and communicate.
Anything else is cheating.
Active Ink Slinger
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I had flings with my husbands mates who hit on me. I would meet them for dinner. I was anxious to feel them inside me and before dinner was over had given them a hj in the restaurant. It took of the edge because I love hours of foreplay
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by rjwi2008
Is it OK to have a fling even though married if sexually frustrated at home?
It's never OK - that's what marriage vows are all about.
However, it takes 2 to make a marriage work and if your spouse is denying you the things that make a marriage work in the first place, one could argue that the vows were broken on both sides.
{allba115-feed-5eed-facedeadbeef}
Lurker
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Assuming the avatar is your pic, you appear to be relatively young. which means that in all probability so is your wife. MOST younger males have higher sex drives than their younger wives, which can result in all sorts of problems in the marriage. (Been there done that.) Later in life those roles tend to reverse (keep that in mind no matter what you decide) My response to JUST your OP is NO. Hurting someone you love (and it will at some point in time) is NOT something I'll advise ANYONE to do. That alone won't be of any help to you and what I will say next might not be either but it's the best I can do. DO talk to your wife, and find out IF there is a REASON for her lack of interest. If so do what you can to FIX IT! If that doesn't get you anywhere try being honest about the EXTENT of your desires and see where that goes.
The only exception I finally made was an opportunity too good to refuse as my former wife had already had two affairs that I was aware of so I saw NO reason for ME to remain faithful to her.
The only exception I finally made was an opportunity too good to refuse as my former wife had already had two affairs that I was aware of so I saw NO reason for ME to remain faithful to her.
Mazztastic
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Quote by WellMadeMale
I've wrestled with those thoughts frequently in my life...
That's the best gif ever
![http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]](https://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]){kind=link}
Advanced Wordsmith
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I think this is a complex question. It is also complicated by the "ownership" aspect of marriage. Marriage is important for many reasons, among them stability. Mutual respect is paramount, for without it there can be no relationship. But trust is more important than monogamy (not my line, it's from a Savage Garden song) and in that context an affair is far more destructive than a one-night stand or a brief encounter. That's because it necessarily requires gross deceit. Unless you think you own your spouse it really shouldn't worry you if they have sex with someone else on the spur of the moment, wherever that was, especially if it's while they're away on a business trip or a weekend, or even a holiday. If you think you own your spouse, that's what should really worry you.
(And I agree: that gif above is the best one ever... )
(And I agree: that gif above is the best one ever... )
Ambrose
Active Ink Slinger
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If you have to ask the question, I think you already know what the answer is.
I've been down this road before, so I understand how frustrating it can be; to love someone you're bound to but completely frustrated with the lack of sex. It's difficult to handle particularly if you've tried to talk it out with your partner and they don't see a problem and/or can't or won't work with you to improve things. I don't think anyone on here can tell you what to do or what is the "right" thing to do. That is ultimately up to you and therefore you will have to live with your choices. If you haven't shared your feelings with your current partner, I would start there. You owe it to both of you to say what's on your mind and put it all out on the table. I just caution you if you're leaning towards having an affair because it's a slippery slope. Sometimes this types of things turn out to be better in theory than reality.
I've been down this road before, so I understand how frustrating it can be; to love someone you're bound to but completely frustrated with the lack of sex. It's difficult to handle particularly if you've tried to talk it out with your partner and they don't see a problem and/or can't or won't work with you to improve things. I don't think anyone on here can tell you what to do or what is the "right" thing to do. That is ultimately up to you and therefore you will have to live with your choices. If you haven't shared your feelings with your current partner, I would start there. You owe it to both of you to say what's on your mind and put it all out on the table. I just caution you if you're leaning towards having an affair because it's a slippery slope. Sometimes this types of things turn out to be better in theory than reality.
Active Ink Slinger
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Only if both parties agree that its ok to do so. Otherwise its cheating.
Lurker
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Even if it was ok, I'm sure you'd feel guilty because you exchanged vowles with her and
were in love enough to get married...
I'm guessing by you asking us that you're thinking of doing it without her knowledge, once you start fooling around you're most likely going to think she's fooling around or get very defensive when she asks simple questions like "What took you so long, dinner was ready a half hour ago", even if you were honestly stuck in traffic. You'd have the back of your mind going "SHE KNOWS, DEFEND MYSELF, DEFEND MYSELF, SHE CANNOT KNOW". Which would probably raise red flags, needless to say it's just a recipe for disaster.
were in love enough to get married...
I'm guessing by you asking us that you're thinking of doing it without her knowledge, once you start fooling around you're most likely going to think she's fooling around or get very defensive when she asks simple questions like "What took you so long, dinner was ready a half hour ago", even if you were honestly stuck in traffic. You'd have the back of your mind going "SHE KNOWS, DEFEND MYSELF, DEFEND MYSELF, SHE CANNOT KNOW". Which would probably raise red flags, needless to say it's just a recipe for disaster.
Rookie Scribe
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This is a tricky question. I think what first needs to be addressed is why you are sexually frustrated and can your wife make the necessary adjustments to remove that frustration? If not, then there needs to be a discussion as to how your sexual needs should be met? If she's not willing to help you on her own, have her give you some ideas on how to meet them? You have to able to speak openly to each other. Have you had this discussion with her?
Active Ink Slinger
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Be very careful. A friend of mind recently went through a crazy situation where the woman he had an affair with turned out to be a psycho. When he attempted to end it, she threatened to blackmail him. When he did end it, she contacted his wife, sent emails and pictures, the whole works. He ended up having to contact the police. Amazingly, his wife forgave him. And of course it was his fault..so beware taking those steps. You don't know who you are going to meet and what the consequences will be.
" I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer"
Woody Allen
Woody Allen
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by thesexynun
I would first address the sexual issue
you look fairly young??
could it be you have young kids at home? she has a demanding job?
perhaps she too is slightly unhappy in the bedroom
to have great sex one must communicate
and that is the number one problem in a marriage
I would go to a sex therapist before I would cheat
you made vows to her..and this includes fidelity
however on HER part too
to love means to have sex
so if you are not getting any sex..then yes it is a HUGE issue
if you are getting it couple times a week that is sometimes marriage
but if you do cheat
remember what you may lose
her and YOUR life you have built together
I pray you don't..i pray you both get help and you find your way back together
Perfectly stated!
A couple of other thoughts...
How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot?
If you aren't happy in your marriage, try to fix it before you jump into something else. If it can't be fixed, then get a divorce before you jump into a new relationship. Its only fair to both of you.
Lurker
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Quote by thesexynun
I would first address the sexual issue
you look fairly young??
could it be you have young kids at home? she has a demanding job?
perhaps she too is slightly unhappy in the bedroom
to have great sex one must communicate
and that is the number one problem in a marriage
I would go to a sex therapist before I would cheat
you made vows to her..and this includes fidelity
however on HER part too
to love means to have sex
so if you are not getting any sex..then yes it is a HUGE issue
if you are getting it couple times a week that is sometimes marriage
but if you do cheat
remember what you may lose
her and YOUR life you have built together
I pray you don't..i pray you both get help and you find your way back together
I couldn't have put it any better myself.
I did have an affair 30 years ago when my children were young. It caused my wife great pain and distress and nearly destroyed our marriage. We ventually put things back together, but it took a very long time to re-establish trust, and our sex life over that time was very poor. Now, after 43 years together, the work needed to save our marriage was worth it. The most important thing is communication - always talk, always be honest, and always look at yourself and see where you might fall short.
Marital fidelity should be your aim, but fantasy is another thing entirely. Flirt with friends on Lush, talk about having sex with them, but remember those are just fantasies fuelled by lust, and use them to enrich your number one relationship - the one with your wife which is based first on love.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Willyc2licu
I couldn't have put it any better myself.
I did have an affair 30 years ago when my children were young. It caused my wife great pain and distress and nearly destroyed our marriage. We ventually put things back together, but it took a very long time to re-establish trust, and our sex life over that time was very poor. Now, after 43 years together, the work needed to save our marriage was worth it. The most important thing is communication - always talk, always be honest, and always look at yourself and see where you might fall short.
Marital fidelity should be your aim, but fantasy is another thing entirely. Flirt with friends on Lush, talk about having sex with them, but remember those are just fantasies fuelled by lust, and use them to enrich your number one relationship - the one with your wife which is based first on love.
BINGO!