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Do you Normally trust the profile gender? Options · View
BiLadyDEe
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 1:21:38 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/18/2013
Posts: 4
Location: United States


A few months ago I joined a dating site , chatted with a lady and exchanged numbers. We began texting and sending each other pictures . One night I wanted to talk called her phone and it was some pervert plumber on the answer machine . I was humiliated ! I stopped all online things. I'm new to lush and wanted to know how do you ladies trust the profile gender?
imchu
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 1:30:29 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 6/20/2013
Posts: 6
Location: India
lol no i dnt especially wen profile says she's lesbian and wont add any man, also u ll find lot of lesbians here dnt really thnk der r tht many

bored
BiLadyDEe
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 1:42:32 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/18/2013
Posts: 4
Location: United States
Yea I've been trying to watch for clues. It sucks for the ppl who are really themselves on here.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 2:15:49 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
I'm with you biLadyDEe I'm new to lush and just looking to have some on line fun, ( chat) it's hard to know who you are talking to!
BiLadyDEe
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 2:18:57 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/18/2013
Posts: 4
Location: United States
Iefun I guess we can only hope for the best or ask lots of questions
roamer
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 3:30:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/5/2011
Posts: 208
Location: South Africa
Generally yes. But at the sometime I also check on possible clues.
Will_greybeard
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 3:38:46 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2012
Posts: 611
Location: Chorlton cum Hardy, United Kingdom
This is really a most difficult question. even pictures don't help since it is easy to download a coherent set of pictures to fit the personality you want to assume. Interestingly, I feel more certain with some female friends who don't post pictures, because it would be so much easier to download pictures of the kind of person you would like to be from the internet, and post them on Lush as you. However, it is only when you start chatting with someone that I think you can be fairly certain, because it is very difficult to take on an assumed personality 100% of the time, and inconsistencies will soon start to show. Even then, it is difficult not to be suspicious some of the time, particularly if you are slightly paranoid like me.

Final thought - are you the person you might be pretending got be.

My latest story "The Summerhouse - Anne's Story"
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/wife-lovers/the-summerhouse-annes-story.aspx

Mysteria27
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 5:36:44 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/3/2013
Posts: 3,386
Location: Somewhere in the USA, United States
I have had people wanting to confirm via yahoo messenger. They just want to hear your voice and make certain. That's one way to do it.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 5:37:26 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
imchu wrote:
lol no i dnt especially wen profile says she's lesbian and wont add any man, also u ll find lot of lesbians here dnt really thnk der r tht many


One, took me a while to translate the text-speech.

Two, I think you'll find that the higher percentage of lesbians/gays here is not out of sorts as the straights on sites like this seem to be more accepting and are generally more polite and understanding, so it would draw a higher number.

Personally, I do trust the profile till proven wrong, I just don't trust the Avatar as many of us use uploaded pictures and rarely ourselves
Dirty_D
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 5:58:49 AM

Rank: Head Nurse
Moderator

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,484
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
I guess since I'm not here for that reason, it matters a lot less to me than others. If you want to assume the identity of someone else, that's fine as I rarely chat, and when I do it's about normal things you would talk to friends about.

I have a few people I have met. As was said above, because I've spent a lot of time talking to them, I felt comfortable with who they were. And mostly, I've been happy with the meetings. I look forward to meeting more of my lush friends!
DarcyAnne
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 7:02:49 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/20/2013
Posts: 5
Location: United States
Mostly yes
olfart
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 7:05:59 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/8/2012
Posts: 193
Location: United States
Mostly, unless they give me a reason not to.
imchu
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 7:19:49 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 6/20/2013
Posts: 6
Location: India
JasonM wrote:


One, took me a while to translate the text-speech.

Two, I think you'll find that the higher percentage of lesbians/gays here is not out of sorts as the straights on sites like this seem to be more accepting and are generally more polite and understanding, so it would draw a higher number.

Personally, I do trust the profile till proven wrong, I just don't trust the Avatar as many of us use uploaded pictures and rarely ourselves


I will be careful next time :)

bored
Guest
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 7:24:37 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
I also don't really care one way or the other. If I am truly interested In the person I will trust them.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 7:34:11 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
I have learned to not truly trust any profile at first. The gender, motives, and other things are often misleading at best, outright LIES a good many times. While for some people this is fine because they don't really care, and view all of LUSH as a fantasy so it does not matter; it matters to ME.
buttercup2u
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 8:24:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/13/2012
Posts: 439
Location: lost in paradise, United States
JasonM wrote:

imchu wrote:
lol no i dnt especially wen profile says she's lesbian and wont add any man, also u ll find lot of lesbians here dnt really thnk der r tht many

One, took me a while to translate the text-speech.

Two, I think you'll find that the higher percentage of lesbians/gays here is not out of sorts as the straights on sites like this seem to be more accepting and are generally more polite and understanding, so it would draw a higher number.

Personally, I do trust the profile till proven wrong, I just don't trust the Avatar as many of us use uploaded pictures and rarely ourselves


I quite agree....I think that Lushies are very accepting of each other's differences, kinks, and preferences. In this day and age, why would anyone pretend to be someone they aren't?

I certainly don't feel the need to prove who or what I am to anyone, and if they need proof, I don't need them as a friend. Of course, when I go into a chat room, I am usually there to look at and post pictures, and maybe talk about the pictures themselves, or I am there to hang out with friends. Often times we will chat about ordinary stuff, like work, books, TV shows....just stuff...

Since I am not here to cyber with anyone, or pick anyone up and it really doesn't matter to me what a person's sexual orientation, or preference is, I often don't read profiles. I might glance at it, skimming through quickly if I am considering adding the as a friend, but generally, if I like you enough to make you a friend, then I like you as a person. The things that float your boat, are your business.

I am actually more inclined to read the profile of someone I don't get along with...trying to figure out why I don't get along with them....lol
Nyaeve80
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 8:27:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/28/2013
Posts: 232
Location: Barcelona, Spain
I haven't really thought a lot about this.

I think that it depends on who you are a lot too.

In my case once I have got it across to people that I will not send out photos or go on cam then really I think that the idea of someone faking their sex is a little absurd... or perhpas irrelevant. I think most guys only fake their sex, masquerade as a woman, to get pics of other women in passing themselves off as a lesbian. If you send out personal pics then I can see that this could be a problem. I guess that then yes, you have to watch for clues and so on. If you don't send out personal stuff then the whole problem never really comes up. If a guy wants to pass himself off as a girl to cyber with me or just get dirty in general... well fine. I am not going to argue with him. If he pushes my buttons online then his real sex is irrelevant.

There is a lot of deception here online, here in Lush. I think presuming that this site represents real life is just too optimistic. I have a lot of friends and I am sure that certain things are not the same as they are here.
a) that most of the men have a penis over 7 inches in length
b) that most of the women I know are really bi (I am sure this is not true)
c) that all of them need sex at least as often as me
d) that they are all basically kinky in some way

Real life is out there, not in here.
BelleduJour
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 9:51:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,507
Location: Canada
Ah, the wacky world wide web! Gotta love the anonymity the internet provides us. It has become a breeding ground for questionable characters with shady agendas more often than not. And those Catfish spoil it for the good ones unfortunately.

I think there are two streams of thought here; one is online dating and the second is online playtime.

As BiLadyDEe said in her intro, her initial frustration came as a result of her experience on an online dating site. That can be especially disheartening because most people on dating sites, paid or unpaid, are looking to meet people either for a hook-up or just a date or looking for a long-term relationship. There is a certain level of expectation that comes with being a member on one of those sites, the least of which would be an openness to carry on the conversation via email, text, and/or phone to see if the initial chemistry is there. Eventually, the goal would be to meet in person and see how well that goes, or not.

On sites like Lush, those expectations aren't there. It's understood that most people on sex sites are here for fun, fantasy, excitement, release. Anonymity and being guarded about one's personal information because of the genre is expected and accepted. That's not to say there aren't exceptions to either scenarios, because there are!

With regards to online dating, I've done it on and off for several years and have met my fair share of liars, cheaters, fornicators, fakes, scammers and profiles that just want some lovin' from yet another digit added to their ever expanding roster of cyber conquests. Yeah, I've met them ALL! Having said that, I have also met some pretty amazing men, had some memorable dates and even developed some great friendships along the way. Of course, that was only AFTER I learned a few hard lessons along the way.

And that goes for Lush too.

At the end of the day, you will NEVER really know who you're talking to be it on an online dating site or Lush unless you meet in person or at the very least, Skype. It's that simple. BUT that doesn't mean there aren't wonderful people with productive lives who are honest and sincere on the other end of the computer screen, because there definitely are, LOTS!

As already mentioned, with regards to Lush anyway, some Lushies don't care who's on the other end or if someone is pretending to be someone they're not. It's irrelevant to them because it's meant to all be a fantasy anyway, and since there is no chance of meeting, who cares? For others, it's not that simple and I completely understand that.

So the only advice I can give you based on my own experience is that, if cultivating honest friendships is important to you, you need to be discerning. Ask questions, spend time talking with someone one-on-one and getting to know them, NOT sex chat just yet, just normal chat to see if you have anything in common. Read their profile bios and interests, check out their stories if they have any, read through their forum posts if that's something they participate in. I would also suggest checking out friend lists (although sometimes this is hidden); I think you can tell a lot about a profile by their friend list. If you really NEED to know something about someone, ask one of their friends in their friend list or someone that posts frequently on their wall. Why not? I've done it a few times and it has sometimes been a factor whether or not I friend someone.

The most important point I have for you is to try and NOT let all of this jade you so much that you aren't open to experiencing all the great things Lush has to offer because there are plenty. Be safe. Be smart and above all else, keep your sense of humour. It will make things even more enjoyable.


Guest
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 10:09:18 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
I trust. But also verify if I can.
Frank
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 11:09:45 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 11,464
Location: Pleasure dome, United Kingdom

I had to change my profile from sexy single lady as I was receiving too much interest!
Seriously affected me so much I even stopped shaving my mustache.


evil4



Of all our inventions for mass communication, pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney

acicuc
Posted: Saturday, December 28, 2013 11:47:56 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/28/2010
Posts: 66
Location: mumbai, India
no reason not to
but do check further if you want to get to know someone
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, December 31, 2013 1:43:46 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889

Listen to the person's voice would be a good solution.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2014 9:13:34 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
It goes like this: in society 2% of women consider themselves lesbian and 3% bisexual. That's just 5% of women that consider themselves non-straight. Here it's 73%. And, yes, I researched it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is nonsense. In most cases they are men posing as women in order to get with les or bi women. The joke's on them: lots of other men had the same idea so all they get with is other fakes.

While it may be true that women with lesbian or bisexual interests are attracted to sex sites there is no way to explain the massive bias towards lesbian and bi women you see on them. Same goes for real girls who affect bisexuality as a fashion statement, they're a minority also.

Can you really imagine walking into some place in real life and only 3 out of 10 women are straight? Bullshit.

Male members I won't even consider.
adagio_sabadicus
Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2014 9:40:45 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/24/2013
Posts: 1,411
I keep reiterating...common sense prevails. What is man's strongest urge? Duh! Unfortunately certain sites draw elements that cant function in mainline society. My 2 cents
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2014 12:39:15 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
sky_west wrote:
It goes like this: in society 2% of women consider themselves lesbian and 3% bisexual. That's just 5% of women that consider themselves non-straight. Here it's 73%. And, yes, I researched it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is nonsense. In most cases they are men posing as women in order to get with les or bi women. The joke's on them: lots of other men had the same idea so all they get with is other fakes.

While it may be true that women with lesbian or bisexual interests are attracted to sex sites there is no way to explain the massive bias towards lesbian and bi women you see on them. Same goes for real girls who affect bisexuality as a fashion statement, they're a minority also.

Can you really imagine walking into some place in real life and only 3 out of 10 women are straight? Bullshit.

Male members I won't even consider.
Really? angry7
Dani
Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2014 1:21:25 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch
Moderator

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 5,731
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
I take everything here at face value. But after a few conversations with someone (or sometimes just one convo), I'm pretty good with figuring out if they're lying about being a female or not. I have to say that I personally haven't come across any women on here pretending to be men (that I'm aware of). But I have come across quite a few men here masquerading as women. It's really easy to figure out. They pretend to be bisexual or lesbian to get their kinks out...and they usually want nothing to do with men, even on a casual friendship level.

Show me a lesbian/bisexual woman here who is hostile towards men without being provoked, and most likely you've got yourself a man. Is this always the case? Of course not. But usually it is.

But as far as looking at a profile and immediately not trusting the gender, I don't go that far. It takes a bit of interaction for my instincts to kick in.


Guest
Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2014 1:36:14 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
sky_west wrote:
It goes like this: in society 2% of women consider themselves lesbian and 3% bisexual. That's just 5% of women that consider themselves non-straight. Here it's 73%. And, yes, I researched it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is nonsense. In most cases they are men posing as women in order to get with les or bi women. The joke's on them: lots of other men had the same idea so all they get with is other fakes.

While it may be true that women with lesbian or bisexual interests are attracted to sex sites there is no way to explain the massive bias towards lesbian and bi women you see on them. Same goes for real girls who affect bisexuality as a fashion statement, they're a minority also.

Can you really imagine walking into some place in real life and only 3 out of 10 women are straight? Bullshit.

Male members I won't even consider.


Well, sometimes certain groups are like that.

In the close circle of real life friends I have, which numbers 13

2 Straight men (myself and one other)
1 Gay man
3 Bi-men

1 Straight woman
2 Lesbian women
4 Bi-women

So in our little group, 3 of 13 are straight - and one 1 of 7 of the women - that's 86% of the women I call close friends being at least bi.

You can't take society as a whole and plunk their numbers into a sub-set, such as we have here. It falls apart.

Until proven otherwise, I trust what the person puts in their profile as truth.
Chrissy123
Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2014 2:01:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/9/2012
Posts: 3,768
Location: In my bed waiting for you!, United States
Oh great! I am gullible and trusting.

I have met some great people here and some creepers.

Over time I just delete the ones who are not genuine.

It's unfortunate...






cumeater21
Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2014 2:54:02 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/21/2013
Posts: 4
Location: United Kingdom
Yeah - if we can't trust fellow sex addicts what can we do?

Obviously if you want to meet then you'll do a bit of investigation; but unless the guy is gay then I seriously doubt whether he can convince me he's a woman. Mind you, if she turned out ot be he then would that be an issue?
Guest
Posted: Friday, January 03, 2014 8:06:40 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 671,889
OMG!! That hot guy could be a lesbian !!
O.o I hope not.

dang it.


I had to post a pic to prove that I wasn't a google image. That sucks!
haha. blehh.
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