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Has the old fashioned method of courting died out

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clittouch
Advanced Wordsmith
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would you still like to be wined and dined and courted, or are we now in too much of a hurry to get down to the sex part of a relationship?
ColletteXx
Active Ink Slinger
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My bf swept me off my feet, literally! We'd skirted around each other for a while before we got together at a ball. I instigated the sex, bad Collette!! lol

I pestered him to attend the ball, and only found out later he was supposed to have been skiing with friends in Switzerland that weekend. He feigned illness to attend. I like to think that was a pretty big romantic gesture on his part smile
Unknown User
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I prefer to do that for a lady first, and work my way to there. If you just skip to the reward, then why play the game? Enjoy the little things too.
keoloke
Active Ink Slinger
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I don’t feel that it died out, but I do know a few peoples that have never fully carried out and experienced it and maybe that is increasing. Probably because the desire it’s being hindered by way too many (easy) distractions.

You got to wish it, than gallivant your way to it.

If you feel however that someone has not "wished" you.. you do not have to settle for that unfulfilled date.

Me? I could have not lived without. It’s just too sweet... and still is.
Choose n Practice Happiness

Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
Meggsy
Active Ink Slinger
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The "old bull" story still works for me.
Wilful
Devil's Advocate
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Sorry, I don't understand the question. Text it to me.

Seriously, all I can say is, thank God I'm off the market now. Kids these days... As a courter, rather than a courtee, I like to take my time, get to know them, put on a bit of a show and all that. Well, back in the day at any rate.
My latest story is a racy little piece about what happens when someone cute from work invites you over to watch Netflix and Chill.
Guest
Lurker
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Sorry .. I'm not a marketable commodity. Neither do I want to be falsely wined and dined with a view to being impressed by a man's charm and therefore falling in love with him only to find out later his true self is anything but that which he set himself up to be.

I'd much prefer to know the real man from the word 'go' - warts and all - so for my money old fashioned courting can stay 'old fashioned' and very much in the past.
1lush
Active Ink Slinger
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I've been watching how my 18 an 19 year old dates and its nothing like when I was dating. They don't go out to eat or the movies it just usually setting at the dates house watching tv. I think the times have changed a lot.
Ironmandeere13
Active Ink Slinger
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Not super old fashion...but Miss Some of the Classyness
Dirty_D
Head Nurse
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What you are referring to as Old fashioned dating hasn't been the standard as long as you might think. it wasn't until the mid twenties that women started to go out with their future partners, and even then, the concept of going to dinner wasn't really conceived. However, it is up to each girl to keep the standards they choose. I've been wined and dined by several men. Some I continued to date others I didn't. It all depends on what I am looking for.
Twofish1way
Active Ink Slinger
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No way. Not for me, anyhow. I insist upon it. I abhor distasteful manners and boorish men.
Unknown User
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I think I have always been courted, especially when it came to serious relationships. I like the chase and the dance. That is part of the excitement. I suppose I have certain requirements, and I believe that I give as much or more in return and shoot for the mutual, but I LOVE the dance, the mating courtship ritual and everything about that experience.

I was completely courted by my boyfriend who tried and tried for many months before we dated. He was promptly rewarded when we did date and has been, as I like to reward, but I love to give him the credit for all his willingness. I appreciated it! I like being woo'd and won. I know he had to work very hard at this sometimes and I am very glad he did!
Guest
Lurker
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been out of the game since my very, very long last relationship ended. I can't really answer this. I'm assuming it's crazier than ever though..the dating game..
Guest
Lurker
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I feel that people who date should be on the same level as far as what to do - how to go about doing things. IE: talk about it.

I never was one for dressing up and eating dinner (I had an eating disorder and serious body image issues). I wasn't one for flowers, either (one rose is sweet - a bouquet is a waste of money). Or movies (2 hours side by side without talking - what's the point?)

Instead, I favored personal time - talking over cold sodas in a hot car in the middle of the summer is a fond memory of mine from when my husband and I were dating - something we did often. We took scenic drives and just spent a lot of time together - alone.
Dani
Big-haired Bitch
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I do feel like access to people in general is easier. Social media especially makes it easier to work around things like chivalry when it comes to dating and instead go for a more direct approach. It definitely makes casting your net a lot easier. In this day and age, if someone doesn't want to work hard in pursuing someone, they really don't have to.

I don't feel it's died out, though. If that's the standard you've established for yourself and others, then it won't die out. I'm of a mind that chivalry dies when you let it. I enjoy being pursued (in a non-stalkerish way) and I'm the first to admit I don't make it easy.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


LASARDaddy
Story Verifier
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It's all "Instant Gratification" now. Sex is the greatest thing there is. It's even better than sliced bread.

I am of that old school. I was raised to be a gentleman and I'll always be that. I want to know more about the person I'm in bed with than what they like to be called. If you play it right a site like Lush is wonderful. You can get to know a lot about another. Many here date and follow all the old rules. A lot of new ones about protecting themselves too but the time to know one another is there.

I've been involved in a few Wham,Bam, Thank You Mam's and they were fun but they were all the others idea. Cute but I want more of the Beauty of it and that's knowing them before we get to the sex. It's so much better for me that way.

Dirty_D is right though. It wasn't been "The Old Fashioned Way" for that many years.
I am always a gentleman.
alhoas
Active Ink Slinger
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It hasn't died out if the court-er has been raised well. I got dates and flowers and even homemade chicken noodle soup, all before sex. It worked, I married him. I think the older someone is the more courting they will do. I don't think a 20 year old kid has the patience to court. But I'll also guess that 20 year old kid isn't looking to settle down either.
Guest
Lurker
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Maybe that's the problem: a 20 year old is not a kid - but are constantly being permitted to behave in childish ways.

Regardless, there's a skewed view of dating norms - as someone already pointed out: people just assume that 'that's how dating always was' . . . and a long time ago there was no such thing as 'dating' as people are referring to regarding 'old fashioned'.

Old fashioned is a parent's plead. I think one of my ex boyfriends in high school fully satisfied this old-fashioned dating concept and my parents loved him - I thought it was annoying and told him to stop acting. (Could you imagine if we continued dating and maybe married - he would have actually asked my father's permission to marry me. Oh how insulting!)

I remember growing increasingly frustrated and resentful toward my parents as I entered my later teen years because my father's a minister: so a lot of guys were instantly repulsed and took a step back - or tried too damn hard to get their approval. One boyfriend wouldn't even touch me if he thought that they would find out. Are you kidding me!

That's the difference, here. We don't need our parent's permission - I never did. They didn't have to like my boyfriends, I wasn't dating a man to please my father and mother - that's for sure - I was dating people who appealed to me. Whether my parents were okay with him or not didn't - and still does not - matter.

My husband is as far removed from what my parents would have approved of - but they love him and care for him deeply. They've come to know him over time.
Kittypusscat
Active Ink Slinger
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My man actually courted me with words. He used to write me letters and poems which were lovely. He is still a gentleman even now- apart from in bed of course! LOL
[
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
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Guys still try to court me the old-fashioned way when they don't know my situation. Its kind of sweet that its still like that, but can be very awkward too. On the other hand, I don't get all the wining, dining, movies, etc. with the guys who just show up to fuck me every night! lol
Guest
Lurker
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Let us hope it has not died out.
ColletteXx
Active Ink Slinger
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I courted my man, he came to the company I was working for to give a talk on Ethical trading and my best friend introduced me to him. I won him over with my charm smile

We swapped numbers and we chatted most days, just about things in general, for a couple of months. We had a summer ball and I nagged him to come, which he did, and that night we finally got together.

He was a perfect gent, still is.
Ebrit
Active Ink Slinger
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I don't know how people do it, they jump into relationships so fast they hardly have time to even know the person they are with, I'm surprised they even know each others names sometimes. I like to take my time to get to know someone however it seems my chosen partners are in a bit more of a hurry, get bored of me and jump into a relationship with someone they just met a couple of days ago.
BluOrchd
Active Ink Slinger
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I haven't been on a date in about 5 years, so it would be really nice to go on one. Dinner and a movie, some good conversation. Even if it's at home, cuddled up on the couch with that special someone watching a movie and having a glass of wine would be amazing.
Dancewithme
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by LASARDaddy
It's all "Instant Gratification" now. Sex is the greatest thing there is. It's even better than sliced bread.

I am of that old school. I was raised to be a gentleman and I'll always be that. I want to know more about the person I'm in bed with than what they like to be called. If you play it right a site like Lush is wonderful. You can get to know a lot about another. Many here date and follow all the old rules. A lot of new ones about protecting themselves too but the time to know one another is there.

I've been involved in a few Wham,Bam, Thank You Mam's and they were fun but they were all the others idea. Cute but I want more of the Beauty of it and that's knowing them before we get to the sex. It's so much better for me that way.

Dirty_D is right though. It wasn't been "The Old Fashioned Way" for that many years.


I was reared the same way!....and Dirty D is always accurate it seems. lol
Dancewithme
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Dirty_D
What you are referring to as Old fashioned dating hasn't been the standard as long as you might think. it wasn't until the mid twenties that women started to go out with their future partners, and even then, the concept of going to dinner wasn't really conceived. However, it is up to each girl to keep the standards they choose. I've been wined and dined by several men. Some I continued to date others I didn't. It all depends on what I am looking for.



You realize you are just a looker right? You are NOT supposed to be smart too!!
Interestingly, you can write like nobody's business. Just sayin.xU1bhnsLrX1zvWbE
CunningLinguist143
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Quote by HeraTeleia
I don't think that it's died out, no. There's a bit of space between "Nice to meet you" and "Where did I leave my panties?".


This made my day.

My own reply is yes and no. Romance is great and leads to intimate connections; but, not everyone has the integrity and courage to face such emotions alongside - my own bias view is that - the observation that many are slaves to their instincts.


If ever you sleep with the same one twice, you've sold your soul at the establishment price.

LASARDaddy
Story Verifier
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Quote by CunningLinguist143


This made my day.

My own reply is yes and no. Romance is great and leads to intimate connections; but, not everyone has the integrity and courage to face such emotions alongside - my own bias view is that - the observation that many are slaves to their instincts.



A quickie can be fun but the real enjoyment is in the intimacy. I've done a couple wham-bam-thank-you-mam's and I much prefer to take my time. Knowing what each likes and wants makes it so much better. It's all about trust. I want there to be a long time between, "Hi." and "Where's my panties?"

We are all slaves to our feelings and emotions but I don't think they're instincts. They're a learned thing and we have the power to change them if we try. I look at mine as my ego and I have a big one. Very demanding but I'm in control, not him. I do see it as a separate "Being?", I don't know, I just know that I do not allow most of the things he wants.

I learned to control it a long time ago.
I am always a gentleman.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
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It appears that way. I was raised to open doors,hold the chair, pick up the tab for dinner and bring flowers. It is ingrained in me. Now days I see guys going Dutch. Treating women with a lack of respect.