It's not the roughest scene I've ever seen in that it lacks some of the possible rougher elements, but certainly intense enough for my liking. I think that plenty of women would actually enjoy it like that, but ONLY with someone they can trust 110% - and that can be hard to come by. I don't think you need to incorporate any elements that border on physical violence and I absolutely don't enjoy hurting a woman, only 'degrading' her in any reasonable ways when she has placed her trust in me to make herself vulnerable like that. Hair pulling, face fucking and forceful rimming, grabbing her throat (not actually squeezing it), spanking etc are certainly fine, in addition to overall intensity.
I'm not a woman so I obviously can't speak for them, but I always imagined that its one of those things that some folks are into and others aren't, the definition of rough sex can vary pretty wildly just like the definition of anything can. Ask twenty people what their idea of great sex is and you could get responses varying from pretty tame missionary sex all the way up to really involved BSDM. I imagine you would find a similar spread in regards to a question about what exactly rough sex is and whether or not girls and/or guys enjoy it.
Also, I'm not sure that lush is the best medium for finding out if the average girl likes it "rough". Lush attracts a lot of people who are really into sex, in a way that I think not everybody is, as such I think that a fair portion of people on Lush are often both more experienced, and more adventurous than the average person is or at least interested in becoming more experienced or adventurous. Also in the end Lush is on the internet and as they say you shouldn't always believe what you read on the internet :P.
Personally my ideal amount of rough is probably a lot closer to just forceful, if I was with a girl who wanted me to hurt her or do other assorted things that go along with the territory of "rough" I think it would be pretty solidly outside my comfort zone, but then maybe I'm just a tame guy when it comes to that stuff :P.
All things in their season.
Any more opinions from women?
The old double thread bump. =d>
I love rough, forceful sex with both men and women. When I'm with a black man, I love for him to use me hard and rough, calling me names, like whore and slut, bitch and cunt while fucking me hard. And when I'm with a white girl, if I'm dommeing her, I want her to be screaming as I slam fuck her with my strappy cock. If I'm being dommed by a girl, I love her to humiliate me and degrade me while using me like a useless whore.
Nope...NOT FOR ME to "give" or "receive" as such. LOVE me for trying to always be a gentleman lover or seek your pleasure elsewhere. IMHO, rough sex is very close to assault. I make no apologies!!
Rough sex is one of those areas that's up for personal interpretations and those interpretations vary widely across the board.
I enjoy it - rough, intense, dominant, consuming, nearly overwhelming hard sex. Not always, but sometimes. A guy that understands how hard to push things without veering too far over the edge is a wonderful thing. Some guys are just uncomfortable with it, and I get it, however if a girl loves it hard and rough, it's worth talking it through and finding out her personal preferences and boundaries.
Mrs Rabbit had a great post outlining some of the things that make for great 'moderate level' rough sex, which is what I enjoy too:
- hard to occasionally violent thrusts
- some hair pulling (aways tug near the base of the scalp, that's important, don't do it like a third grader pulling a girl's ponytail at recess)
- pussy/ass slaps
- being pinned down, pushed up against a wall, having arms restrained, controlling her movement - I love the physicality of this.
- face sitting (yes!)
- spitting (make sure it's in the moment at the right intensity level and she's in that nearly over the edge 'fuck me like a dirty slut' moment)
- more intense dirty talk - not the 'naughty' stuff - make it filthy!
- choking (not to the point of blackout - you need to learn how to do this properly before attempting and always underplay if you don't know how to do it. Even hands around the throat will suffice for most guys if you're unsure).
- face-fucking with some gagging, cum/spit dripping down chin (this is a personal preference thing. you have to make sure the girl is into it before proceeding).
- with all this stuff it has to feel 'in the moment' and when the intensity levels reach the right peak, not like running through a rough sex checklist. Treat the woman like an instrument you're playing - watch for the cues - build on the intensity level - know when to pitch and pull back.
Things I don't like:
- fish-hooking (whoever the fuck created this ridiculous porn move?? I hate even seeing it)
- turning an intense rough but *controlled* experience into an *out of control* violent one. The key is for the guy to always, always, always be in control, even when it appears he's not. He needs to constantly be checking in with his partner, reading cues and being prepared to scale back if it's too much. Safe words are a good idea too if you like to push the edge a lot.
- anything that is going so far as to leave real marks, cause real pain, break the skin - no, no, no - unless you're into the S&M domain.
- anything overly degrading like dunking (in a toilet or a tub), restricting breathing to the point of blackout
- real slapping or hitting - especially anywhere near the face
- wrecking a hole (pussy or ass) - skipping lube, causing serious pain or damage. Stretching or gaping. Definitely not for me.
** Note: some girls like the things I don't like but I would consider those more extreme rough sex elements and I think for those - you'd definitely need some proper communication dialogue and limits worked out ahead of time
Anyway - I think most girls will agree that they don't want it rough all the time and they don't want it to the same intensity all the time. I also don't think it's wise to push the levels of rough sex without knowing up front if the girl is into it. That could be scary. There is some level of trust required with some of the rougher elements. I also have to really be into the guy - to the point that I want to give myself over that way. I think if a guy starts with the basics, ass-slapping, pinning down, some harder sex, easing into the mouth fucking. Chances are the girl is either going to respond positively or egg you on for more or give you that 'deer in the headlights' look in which case she's probably not into hard sex and it's best to back things off.
I will always say that there is a huge difference between rough sex and assault. It's in the girl's compliance and desire for it, and in the man's control over everything he's doing. Good rough sex is still very controlled and calculated - it's intense - it's not violent.
My Wife loves it rough occasionally. She like to be spanked while we do it doggie style. I will gladly spank her white cheeks till they are bright red. We also like both like a good rough face fucking. She will lay on her back with her head off the bed and I know what she wants. While I fuck her face I also usually pinch bite and slap her large tits. She has never told me she likes that. However she usually fingers her self to an intense orgasm as I cum down her throat.
Only ever got rough at my partner's encouragement and direction. I have no desire to hurt the lady I am loving - kills the moment and the bond.XmyIR4QMot1QV5tJ
I don't know about the rest of you ladies but I found that that video was the perfect example of what rough sex should be. I found the intensity was at a perfect level- not too high or too low. And he was using her obviously but was watching and listening to her reactions as well. Idk, I would be more than happy to have that kind of rough sex. That is right up my alley.
Until recently, I'd never been anything but gentle with my wife. In a previous relationship, 20+ years ago, I was a sub, but when I hooked up with her a decade after the relationship ended, I was the dom for the first time in my life, so I've been on both sides. My wife and I are relatively vanilla compared to my history with the exception of her pegging me from time to time in non-dominant play.
So a couple years ago I was talking about sex with my cousin, who's my sexual confidant (but nothing naughty between us). She suggested that a little roughness might be just what is in order and she said "sometimes a woman likes a little hair pulling and dirty talk." 50 Shades came out and my cousin brought the subject up again, but I still didn't act until about three months ago. My wife and I were arguing about something really stupid, like dishes in the sink and started play fighting. She was play slapping me and I grabbed both of her hands, pinned them to her sides and bear-hug carried her to the bed. I threw her on the bed and she started kicking at me, so I collapsed on top of her to take away her leverage and pinned her hands over her head. She was fighting hard, but there was still an air of play to it. I decided to take a chance and pinned her hands with one hand while undoing her scrubs with the other and pulling them down. Initially she freaked, but I could see in her eyes she was intrigued. She still fought hard and when she saw me pull my dick out, she actually looked scared. I had to make eye contact for a minute to make sure she was still good, but I didn't fall into my usual trap of asking if she was OK. I squirted a little lube on my dick and penetrated her, no foreplay, just hard fucking. I came faster than I'd ever come with her and she was pretty damn excited about the whole thing. We talked about it a little the next day, but she said she didn't want to talk it to death, but nothing I did was over the line. Essentially, she gave her approval while preserving her right to not approve of my tactics.
Our sex life hasn't been the same since. Before that we had tapered off to once or twice a month. Now, magically, we're doing it three times a week, a tempo we never had never had even in the beginning. I haven't been rough with her since, but something has changed. Some dynamic is different and we're both very happy to be FN like rabbits seven years in.
I agree completely with Ashleigh Lake AKA Dancing_Doll.
