Let's say you are in a relationship with a girl. She used to have a fuckbuddy and occasionally she still talks to him/texts in a casual way. You've heard some of the sex stories related to this guy and they were pretty intense. No hooking up is going on currently though and your relationship is solid, as far as you know.
Would it bother you if your girlfriend met up with this guy for casual drinks when he's in town (just as buddies - no fucking), or would you feel uncomfortable with this. Would you rather not know about it?
And would you feel differently about it if it was an ex-boyfriend rather than a fuckbuddy?
*ps. assume you are in a monogamous relationship*
I've been in the position of having my then bf meet his ex fuck buddy. It didnt end well for us.
Saying he's just a friend now... NO! Not that they can't be friends, but it's only okay if I go along or its with a larger group of friends.
I also I don't do that to her. I used to be fuck buddies (friends-with-benefits) with her best friend, who is also married now. We as couples are very close friends, but I don't do the lunch thing or anything with just her.
However a couple handles this, they should be on the same page with it and they should expect equal behavior and tolerance from each other.
I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but relationships are built on trust so I'd say nothing.grIugTI9LRR8tA8A
been there and done it.....
Let's say you are in a relationship with a girl. She used to have a fuckbuddy and occasionally she still talks to him/texts in a casual way. You've heard some of the sex stories related to this guy and they were pretty intense. No hooking up is going on currently though and your relationship is solid, as far as you know.
Would it bother you if your girlfriend met up with this guy for casual drinks when he's in town (just as buddies - no fucking), or would you feel uncomfortable with this. Would you rather not know about it?
And would you feel differently about it if it was an ex-boyfriend rather than a fuckbuddy?
*ps. assume you are in a monogamous relationship*
This is a tough one to answer for me as I am kinda going through this now. though the person my girlfriend is going out and doing some casual things with, used to be her sisters boyfriend from highschool, (they are still friends). I am actually pretty cool with this, she has a right to have friends, both male and female, but sometimes it feels as though she is not very honest. Like how she communicates with her ex boyfriend through facebook, but does not bother to give the relationship courtesy of telling me and deleting the messages, which in my view, really have nothing more than common chit chat. I am not sure if it is just me being a bit jealous of their friendship, or if I feel a bit threatened because they seem to have a lot of the same interests. Her and I have had, for some time now, a very difficult time communicating with each other on most aspects of our relationship. I think a biggie for me has to do with the lack of communication about any form of attraction to others. we are all attracted to others in some way, shape, or form, its just that wonder of if attraction might turn in to action. I find myself feeling very insecure about this. So when she goes out to the movies with this person, then texts me to say she is going over to her best friends house for a bit, but then does not come home til the next day, I find myself wondering if anything more than platonic might be might be involved these outings. There are many things I could go on and on about in our relationship that has to d with both of our insecurities. I will say I guess it just depends on the stability, trust, and most importantly, the communication of the relationship. which her and I are obviously lacking!! Sometimes I really would like to see how she would react to me doing this, or seeing how insecure it might make her!! I hope that what I said here makes sense to whoever reads this post. I am not very well at expressing my feelings on paper... a lot better at voicing myself. I also apologize for completely over answering this topic, but it has been a bit therapeutic to get it out. to answer more thoroughly, no I would not mind, as long as the intentions are brought forward and yes I would want to know!!!
I wouldn't try to stop her. Everyone has a mind of their own, and if you have to forbid someone from doing something then they will probably end up doing it anyway.
I wouldn't be happy if a girl tried to stop me from seeing another girl just because I've fucked her in the past, either. Things like relationships cannot be forced, and without trust you can't really talk about a 'solid' relationship.
But yeah, it would probably be interesting to meet the guy, and see for myself what exactly is it that made her so attracted to him.
Begs the question why would she tell you of her sexual experiences with her Fb, unless she was doing on purpose to get a reaction out of you to validate your relationship.
If she is still contact with him, so what? Does not mean to say that every area of her life is open to you, but she probably should have kept him quiet in the first place, I once mentioned to an ex that a guy before him was quite well endowed OMG, how I wish I had not as he never shut-up about it.
Experience is a wonderful thing!
I dont necessarily have problems with them being friends, talking, texting and the like... Now if she wanted to go have a drink with him? Why am I not coming along with her? The fact she wouldnt invite me sends up a huge flag... If they are just catching up or hanging out, there is no reason why I couldnt come along... If me being there makes him uncomfortable, that should be an issue for her... I should be #1 in her world, as she would be in mine...
I also think the two of them having a couple of drinks is asking for trouble... We all know the dangers of alcohol and inhibitions... Add to that the fact you have a sexual history with someone... The ease to slip back into bed together "for one last fling" is just a feeling away... How many times has a kiss goodbye turned into a raw, passionate moment?
I guess what I am saying is there is no reason to tempt fate, irregardless of how much she may feel in control of the situation... It wouldnt matter if it was just a fuck buddy or an ex-boyfriend and as far as not knowing about it at all?? Well to me, thats just trying to hide something from me... Which is only going to lead to thinking there is a reason she was trying to hide it from me...
characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent
Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous
vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
I'm protective, not jealous. I go shooting with my wife's ex. Nuf said.
An ex-fuckbuddy wouldn't worry me all that much. It's rare for me to be jealous of other guys sexually, so I wouldn't feel any inadequate or fear that my girlfriend might miss her 'intense sessions' with him. To me, this guy would just be a casual friend which she happened to fuck with a few times. I wouldn't really bother if she went out for a drink with him without me being there either. It would only worry me if she started seeing him very often, say much more often than her other friends.
An ex-boyfriend would be a different story for me. Generally with a boyfriend there's a greater level of complicity involved. If a girl started seeing her ex-boyfriend again, that would mean that this 'complicity' still exists between them somehow. Either she's done with her past relationships or she's not. That surely would warrant a serious discussion with me.
I wouldn't object. I don't see such a big deal about it.
She doesn't stop me from (socially) seeing my ex wife.
I would feel very uncomfortable with it, especially if it was a fuckbuddy.
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Usually I move on. I had a girlfriend from out of state, she was working at my place of work. She volunteered to drive down weekly as she worked for a supplier. They paid her expenses plus salary. We had weekly visits in her hotel room until she was no longer coming to our factory. We had changed suppliers and with that, she vanished from my life, only to show up on Facebook. What the hell, we're friends and nothing comes from it. That's o.k., but others that live around, no.
Depends on the ex. I'd probably be cool with it. Even if I were uncomfortable, I'd let it happen. Trust is important.
I am still casual friends with several exes, though it's mostly a FB/email thing, since they don't live near me. My gf is utterly unbothered, and I like that she has that kind of absolute trust in me.
Last Saturday I was over at the ex gf for supper. We still have business together an occasionally socialize after ending a sixteen year live in relationship. Also present was her ex husband #2 and a old friend & co worker with who she'd had a brief affair. The last brought his current gf who my ex gf has known for over a decade. Could have been awkward, but I never felt it.
I have had dinner and drinks with exes that I've kept in touch with. So has my wife. There's nothing sexual about it. Neither of us wants to get back together with any of our former partners, and we both trust in the strength of our relationship, so it's not really a big deal to meet and catch up with people from our past.
Post-avant-retro-demelodicized-electro-yodel-core is my jam.
Well, even in a monogamous setting, no, I don't think this would bother me at all. To be fair, I am in a variety of poly relationships, so I may or may not be the demographic you're interested in hearing from. It has not bothered me when I have been in a monogamous partnership, though.
An unqualified NO. My first girlfriend went home for the summer and her first boyfriend stalked her until she took him back. Then she cut me out of her life forever. She eventually married someone else. Really, I never have trusted women again. That is beyond sad and I may edit it, but it explains my intense loathing for the book "Forever," which is almost exactly replicates her and my romance.
