No prizes, just fun.
Let the moderators pick a phrase or sentence that could almost never be used in an erotic story. The more improbable and implausible the better. My first thought is "Forward Price-Earnings Ratio for the Dow Jones Transportation Average." There must be a million better ones.
Challenge writers to include the phrase/sentence in a story in a manner that heightens the eroticism. Let the fun begin.
Sentence that would never appear in an erotica story "And that was when I learned how to pickle eggs"
Sentence that should never appear in an erotica story "And that's how I met your mother"
I have yet to write a story set in my own profession (IT management) but I probably can come up with some pretty unlikely sentences for one if I do.
"I walked in to find the server had BSOD'ed. With a groan, I opened it up and reached for the replacement SSD."
He, he. Why do other IT folks get all the good calls? I actually more or less started at the tail end of those dark ages, working in the computer lab in grad school. A: was used to boot DOS, B: held the application floppy (usually Wordperfect 4.1).
A story in draft.
Chapter One: The Two Sluts in the Restaurant, or “That is how I learned to make pickled eggs.”
Brenda and Natalie had just moved to Ecuador. They were porn stars who had fallen in love and quit their prior careers to become waitresses in a local restaurant.
One day, Brenda was sent to the store for some restaurant supplies. {Note: insert gratuitous sex scene between Brenda and Natalie as she prepares to leave the establishment}. She asked the man at the grocery store, “Tiene huevos?” (Do you have eggs?) “Si, Señora – Dos” (Yes, ma’am, two.) {Note: our sophisticated readers will already know that “eggs” is a slang term in Spanish for “testicles.}
Brenda further asked for pickles to use with the eggs. The grocer grinned and unzipped his pants. It wasn’t green, but it was a pickle. {Note: gratuitous sex scene involving fellatio; might consider a pickle up the guy’s ass to appeal to a somewhat different crowd}. Lots of possibilities here.
Natalie was waiting at the restaurant, breathlessly pawing at her crotch and rubbing her breasts. {Note: this is for a sex website, mushystories, so there is no need to try for credibility}. She grabbed the supplies, put them in a blender, and spread the resulting mixture over her (Muff? Snatch? Love Canal? Pussy?) {Note: Get a new thesaurus.}
I was hungry, so I entered the restaurant expecting to satisfy my urge for feasting. I saw the two naked sluts in a 69, and suddenly I had other urges that needed to be satisfied. {Note: don’t bother editing, this is for mushystories and nobody gives a shit as long as the reader gets to stroke). I immediately grabbed the taller girl’s mammary glands. {Note: mammalia just did not go over well in the focus group). I kissed the the two horny and {Note: we really need that Thesaurus) women on their {Note: insert body parts) while they were licking each other’s cunts/boxes/whatever. I immediately tore off my clothes and joined them. And that is how I learned to make pickled eggs.
Coming Soon- Chapter Two, or How I Met Your Mother.
Story Development Notes:
1. The male character needs to be an IT puke so we can use all of the standard dipshit puns about his “hard drive,” his “floppy disk,” and we’re working on a golden showers scene in which we can use the term “Pee See.”
2. This is Ecuador, after all, and a lot of the equipment is really old. I think we can work in that “I AM TWAT line here. Maybe, “I AM TWAT HEAR ME ROAR?”
3. We’re actually offering a paid day off for anybody who can find a way to work the Forward Price-Earnings Ratio for the Dow Jones Transportation Average into it. We’re gonna win this contest!
Mom and I had just laid down in our sleeping bags inside the tent when Bigfoot suddenly appeared, snatching my sultry mother away from my arms and disappearing with her into the foreboding evening forest.
(I started to verify a story here at Lush once upon a time, which had a sentence much like that, leading off the seventh or eighth paragraph.)
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
