My wife is beautiful inside and out. When we fuck I can never get her to tell me what she wants or how she wants me to do her. She will do what I ask, except anal, but I always have to tell her what I want. Even though I ask her I end up fucking her the way I think she wants it. How can I get her to tell me what she wants? Thanks.
If she does not like discussing it or being coaxed to discuss it, have you tried not "out-right" asking? Just talk sex. Talk about different sexual things and what you like or someone else and get her "discussing" topics in general and maybe personal things will come out of it in opinion. If that is not her style, there might be a briad approach that is (?) whether via a movie or something else.
Is she on Lush? She can answer polls and forums questions and share them with you and you two can go back and forth togther. My boyfriend and I do that. Some people enjoy that~ although I know not everyone is that way. IF that is also the case, try a game, creating games, quizzes, buying an intimacy/romantic couples sex board game - it requires you to answer questiosn and do things.
See what she would like.
I don't know why she is not communicating what she wants and I do not know what type of personality or anything else about marriage or sex life, so it is so hard to say really, except that the communication starts in all other areas and when we are comfortable we tend to open up more when we feel we will not be judged and will be understood and accepted. Sometimes people are brought up a certain way or just have certain things they are not comfortable with. Some people find it very hard to discuss this aspect even when they can discuss other things. Perhaps she does not want to dissappoint or make you feel bad? I really do not know. Is she the sort to be a giver and a people-pleaser? She might need to "explore" in her own way and time what she likes (?) There are just people who are not as sexual as others and not as well versed at communicating. She may be more of a pleaser or someone who goes along and goes with the flow and would rather show or not discuss. It could be hard to get her to open up to you. There is sex therapy, friends she might talk to, and maybe you could just make her a little questionaire to fill out some time... or get one off the web (?) She might think it is odd or she might enjoy. Whatever you do make it fun and unobtrusive as possible so that way it is less a chore and more about her, more about an atmosphere she can let guards down and be comfortable, not uptight or defensive. The more it is fun for her, the more inclined I think she will be to answer. I have had to get REALLy creative at times in my life and I am very glad I did!
Take any suggestion that might help and disreguard all that does not apply. ;) I hope something said can help possibily.
It really sounds like she is just trying to please you and doesn't know how to say or do it, maybe. I don't know if she is afraid or needs some practice verbalizing and opening up ... to feel comfy & trust, (maybe it has never been her style), but take care on that can of worms. You may need and want the communication but if she discovers her voice she might be telling you all kinds of things all the time! I mean what if she likes women? It happens. I would ease in.
I really think adult board games and things are a good way to get feet wet in a fun atmosphere.
Also prizes are good. Truth or Dare. (?)
1Lovely, thank you for the reply. Good points and ideas for me to think about and try.
I'm kinda the same as your wife, ive very submissive and love to please my husband, I find it very hard to communicate what I want and when he asks i clam up basically what I want I feel is wrong in my eyes, I find an easy way around this is to share porn by sending him link or show him what I like, show him or tell him the stories I read on here, that's how I communicate what im after... hope this helps
Yes im the small bitchy chick in the corner, set me off and man do you know about it !!!
