So my girlfriend and me have been going out for almost a year and everything was going great. We have not had sex, sexual things just not all the way, and she was out with friends and she went home afterward and one of the guys of the group came home with her because he didn't have anywhere else to sleep. Come to find out that this guy was her ex boyfriend who she did have sex with while they used to be going out. She told me for 2 days that nothing happened. Then admitted that they did have sex. Although I do love her I find it extremely hard to trust her at all. She says that it was a mistake and didn't mean for it to happen. Should I give her a second chance? Or end it now?
Second chance? She never even gave you a first chance to fuck her, yet her ex comes trotting along and she willingly gives up to him what she's been refusing to give up to you? Yah. No. Wash your hands of her and be done with it.
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I think a year is a long time to wait to have sex in a relationship, and a very short reationship length to put up with cheating. I would end it. If she wants you back, let her work for it.
Take it from one who has done that. She is just using you and does not care for you, it was not a mistake that just happened. If she cared for you she would not have let herself get into that position. She will continue to do it, and every time laugh at you behind your back, for being so stupid.
Running for cover now mate haha :0)
Thank you everyone for taking time to reply. Most of the answers were thoughtful. Thankyou
My first thought would be: Fuck her and leave her! Eventually, all that matters is if you still have feelings for her and if those feelings are stronger thatn the feelings of doubt
Absolutely. We all make stupid decisions from time to time for different reasons. The deciding factor would be if she cheated because of love for another.
nope. once a cheater always a cheater
I'd say give yourself a chance not her. Then I realized matters of the heart are the hardest to decide on. Follow what you think is best for you.
Dump her...it'll never change
I've been on both sides of this situation. If you feel you can forgive and put it behind you, then I say do it. But.....if and only if the two of you can talk openly and honestly about the situation. This can be much more complicated than it appears on the surface, and if you love her and she loves you, it's worth the effort to salvage the relationship. Not only do you need to truly understand why she did what she did, she needs to understand her own actions.
It does seem odd to me that an adult couple, together for a year would still be celebate, though it is a legitimate choice for those who opt for that. But, are you both making that choice?
I think if you are both committed to making this work, and are on the same page with the degree of commitment and exclusivity things can turn around. Talk to her!
She will never be faithful to you if she is still into her ex-boyfriend, which she obviously is, or she wouldn't have invited him to sleep on her couch in the first place.
Do you really want to be with a woman who:
1. Won't have sex with you?
2. Lies to you?
3. Is still sleeping with her ex?
4. Is not in love with you? (She's not if she is sleeping with her ex.)
Cheating is the most selfish thing a person can do in a relationship. It just shows she cares more about getting screwed than she does about you. Basically she took the trust that you gave her and threw it away. Why should she deserve a second chance to betray you? You know that old saying, once a cheater, always a cheater? If you take her back, and "forgive" her, then that only tells her that she can cheat on you any time she wants, and get away with it.
Unless you are prepared to go through the whole thing again, because it will happen again, lose her. Give her two weeks to pack and split.
Cold, hard fact, the trust is gone, and for a very good reason, HER behavior! So therefore the relationship that may, or may not have, existed is over. Move on, yes it sucks, but trying to recycle a relationship will just make things worse.
