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Stereotypes of male readers VS reality of what male readers want

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Guest
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I was puzzling over this today - most writers in my erotica groups are female. Here at Lush I know there's a larger number of males who author. However, erotica (as a published genre) it's still mostly dominated by female authors.

And so when I discuss sex-and-writing related topics mostly women respond.

There are a few standard responses that other female erotica authors give to certain questions or subjects *on behalf of men* and I wonder if these concepts are stereotypes as opposed to truths.

IE:

Do older men who read erotica really want all of the women in erotica to be younger than they are? (the going stereotype seems to be: yes, of course. I have a hard time believing that's true).

How true to life does one want sex scenes? (Not being able to get off? Men being portrayed as the one in control?) (A few authors seem to default that all men have to get off in every sex scene - and men prefer to be in control).

So on - so forth.

Overall: I wonder if men being stereotypically portrayed as characters in erotica keeps men from wanting to read much of what's published.
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Personally, I like scenarios that could be real and stories that are written from the female first person POV. Not to worried about who is in control...
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
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I think that the concern here is not about portraying 'stereotypes', but portraying some form of 'fantasy' that will appeal to readers.

What I've personally read in a lot stories on Lush was a representation of what men 'stereotypically fantasize about', as opposed to 'what they stereotypically are'. The same is true for women, in fact. You won't read a lot of stories about a woman having high expectations for a man before realizing he's only interested in her 24-year-old coworker, although this scenario might be more accurate than a lot of erotica stories.

In that regard, yes, I believe that most men will prefer to read about fantasies (ie. a man spurting massive streams of cum on a 21-year-old model), rather than what they're used to in their real lives (ie. desperately trying to convince a 55-year-old wife to offer a blowjob).

The same is true on these forums in fact; in my experience, people are a lot more interested in fantasies than real life sexuality. Create a thread named "Threesome with a busty blonde and a slender brunette: which one would you shoot your load on?" and it will become a multi-paged thread in a matter of hours. Create a thread named "Anyone else here is having difficulties getting an erection?" and two persons will offer an answer (if you're lucky). Still, a whole lot more Lushers are probably affected by erectile dysfunctions than they engage in hot sex with two bombshells (or engage in sex at all). Or just look at the not-so-genuine responses some people offer in their posts (eg. How big is your dick?) or their fake avatars: people definitely come here for the fantasy, in most cases.

Anyway, personally I enjoy some form of fantasy/exoticism in stories, though I definitely prefer when it's at least plausible or realistic to some degree. I enjoy thinking "Oh that's quite unusual/unexpected, but I could see this happening in real life". This is especially true in regard to how the partners meet and how they end up having sex together. Just reading "I approached this elegant model randomly at the bar, and after a few minutes of chitchat we went to my car so that I could ass-fuck her without a condom" is a bit boring to me. I just feel like I'm reading a very exaggerated fantasy as opposed to something that might have happened in real life. If you plan on including scenarios that are a bit uncommon in your stories, at least include many details which would make it somehow believable, mainly detailed conversations.

I also like when the characters involved are somewhat realistic sexually speaking, with maybe a few reluctances/inhibitions/insecurities here and there, as opposed to being overly open sexually and ready to perform just about anything. Realism adds a nice touch of psychological tension in such cases.

In terms of physical attractiveness, I like when the characters are rather hot, though not necessarily excessively so. That's not really a fantasy for me though, it's just what I'm used to.

I'm personally writing my first 'extensive story' (which will also set the tone for my next ones), and I'm planning it to be extremely realistic. There's even a seduction scene where the dialog will be very detailed, with some fumbles/hesitations from both partners. It may or may not be a successful approach in the end, and I'll try to convey this feeling to the reader as best as I can. The sex will also feature condoms and some reluctances from the characters (with a recurring one that, again, might be transgressed in the end... or not).

In fact, my intention is to write stories that may or may not have happened to me, and let the reader be the judge. Some of them will be 100% authentic, some will be quite accurate but with a few exaggerations, some will be things that 'almost' happened to me or concerning girls I fantasized about but never got to sleep with, some will be purely fictive.

As it is with movies, I think that the fun is reading/viewing something that possibly could happen; it just adds a lot to the intensity. When too many exaggerations are included, it just becomes very bland and predictable. But some form of fiction/fantasy is still needed to appeal to the audience.
Dirty_D
Head Nurse
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Quote by SereneProdigy
I think that the concern here is not about portraying 'stereotypes', but portraying some form of 'fantasy' that will appeal to readers.

What I've personally read in a lot stories on Lush was a representation of what men 'stereotypically fantasize about', as opposed to 'what they stereotypically are'. The same is true for women, in fact. You won't read a lot of stories about a woman having high expectations for a man before realizing he's only interested in her 24-year-old coworker, although this scenario might be more accurate than a lot of erotica stories.



(I'd apologize for answering on Ask the guys, but well, as often you as you lot answer on ask the girls, I wont)

There is quite a bit to be said about this, in general I prefer not to see the actual person I am chatting with online. It ruins the image I have in my head.

Ive written a couple stories that were "fantasy" pieces. and some that were more "reality" pieces (noting all of my work is fiction, but some are more true to life, if you will)
For example: Mourning Routine this story has 4255 views, and a mere 18 votes, and half again as many comments. its a "true to life" style story.
this one, Charge Nurse, posted in the same 30 day period as the previous one(both are older stories), is nearly a famous story, and has had 74 votes. It fits the fantasy style.

Part of this might be I posted both of those as a new member, but the fantasy continues to have views, and the other does not.

ETA: like elsewhere mentioned, even my "fantasy style" stories have a character that "could" be real. they are not simply 2 dimensional and flat, I try to build character into my stories as well.
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Personally, as an author, I like writing scenarios/stories that could be real. I find when I do people respond to them better. As for my fantasy tales where my male characters are vampires, angels, ect; they are in no way the stereotypical ideal man that every woman wants. Again, I always put a real human element into all of my characters to them real and relatable.
Belthazor
Idk... Gryffindor?
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One stereotype I've heard is that male readers don't like the supernatural element of some stories or don't like a solid storyline around the sex.

I, however, love the supernatural mixed in and feel that a story wouldn't be complete without... well, a story! Just reading about sex is like "Okay, that's nice, but that seems about as believable as the pizza guy with his dong in the box getting some." I need creativity and imagination!
Mental_Stimulation
Rookie Scribe
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Great question, never thought of it until I read your question. The adventures of a dominant male, with all the fundamental stereotypes, while probably worth a read, is all over the place. Movies, porn, even lots of stories on here. The male is the aggressor, and the female his victim, or the submissive that finally gives into him.

The typical secretary fantasy... hot yes, but it has been done many times.

I'd much rather read a story with a willful and manipulative female... The idea of a devious, dangerous female would absolutely catch my attention. Something new and different.
NudeAutoMall
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Metilda
Do older men who read erotica really want all of the women in erotica to be younger than they are? (the going stereotype seems to be: yes, of course. I have a hard time believing that's true).


Women are Sexy at all ages, n I thought that way even when I was Young.

Quote by Metilda
How true to life does one want sex scenes? (Not being able to get off? Men being portrayed as the one in control?) (A few authors seem to default that all men have to get off in every sex scene - and men prefer to be in control).


Control depends on the moment. And reality is, most girls can not outlast me. Irrelevant. Guys are visually oriented, we like the girl overly described, and typically little descriptive about the guy if any at all.

Quote by Metilda
Overall: I wonder if men being stereotypically portrayed as characters in erotica keeps men from wanting to read much of what's published.


Explain your question?