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Is something wrong?

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Stevoc20
Rookie Scribe
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I been living lifestyle for about 2 years, learning about it for longer, I am a dominant, but I dont enjoy the idea of being mean rough and Hurting a submissive for no reason, If broke rules or was disobedient , then Id punish them appropriately, but All I seem be seeing is girls looking for dominants to beat and hurt them willingly. Something is very wrong, because beating a sub for no reason isnt what a true dominant should do. Any Advice? I been searching for ages and lack of good fortune starting to annoy me
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Stevoc20
I been living lifestyle for about 2 years, learning about it for longer, I am a dominant, but I dont enjoy the idea of being mean rough and Hurting a submissive for no reason, If broke rules or was disobedient , then Id punish them appropriately, but All I seem be seeing is girls looking for dominants to beat and hurt them willingly. Something is very wrong, because beating a sub for no reason isnt what a true dominant should do. Any Advice? I been searching for ages and lack of good fortune starting to annoy me

This is probably not a response that you were looking for but here goes.
I got into the gay dom scene many years ago and had to get out of it. The subs/slaves seemed to want me to be nastier and punish harder. I ended up becoming a person that I didn't like, hated in fact. S & M wasn't who I am, so I got out of the scene.
If I ever went back it would be as a Master not a Dom.
Unknown User
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Quote by dpw

This is probably not a response that you were looking for but here goes.
I got into the gay dom scene many years ago and had to get out of it. The subs/slaves seemed to want me to be nastier and punish harder. I ended up becoming a person that I didn't like, hated in fact. S & M wasn't who I am, so I got out of the scene.
If I ever went back it would be as a Master not a Dom.


To my understanding a Master is a Dom.
Dom means 'dominate' (as in dominant role, not any one sort of "domination" because that differs and what may be your experience may or may not be common but is still not a set rule). Perhaps I am wrong, but that is my understanding. A Dom or Domme can be different hings/titles in addition, and a Master is one: Master, Mistress, Sir, Daddy. That is how I understand it.^

There are different kinds of S & M too. No one should do ANYthing in BDSM they are not comfortable with or that does not "fit" them, that is kind of a betrayal and a cardinal rule because that is how people get hurt - not just physically, or hurt someone else, but emotionally.

Safe - Sane - 'Consensual'
__________________________________________________________________________

Now, to answer the original question. I really do not believe that it speaks for everyone, not at all. It does not have to be indicative of D/s relationship, (it certainly isn't with me), not at all, but some things go more extreme up and down the scales, just as the types of relationships. There are sluts, slaves, pets, subs, switches, littles/baby-girls... and they are all submissives. I am in a D/s and I am a sub and a "little." My Dom is a Daddy Dom. He would never be nasty or mean to me! I obey and give respect because I trust him and part of that trust is care. IF a D/s relationship wants "punishment" it can be any figure of speech that is something to represent, whether a kinky-word-play or a different form of consequence or discipline, it does not require pain or humilation, brutality or abuse!!

I think some people have "other" issues... but if something is not a turn on to you, you 'should' be upfront and tell them you are NOT into that and move on. Not everyone in BDSM D/s is into that. A Daddy-Dom is much softer Dom in some ways (can be) and deeply compassionate because he is treating that person with love and care. Perhaps you are just a more loving or caring Dom? You can still be dominant/a Dom without abuse.
Guest
Lurker
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It all depends on what kind of BDSM style you are looking for. There are pain subs, but not all of us are into pain. I am a Baby Girl and have a Daddy. I love and respect my Daddy and hardly ever disobey. He would never hurt me and I do not wish to be hurt by him. I have had other Masters in the past that did enjoy hurting me; but, that was not my thing.
You just have to find a sub that is into the same kind of BDSM that you are into. Maybe you should research it, if you are not sure what type you are.
Ravyn
Cock Connoisseur
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Quote by Stevoc20
I been living lifestyle for about 2 years, learning about it for longer, I am a dominant, but I dont enjoy the idea of being mean rough and Hurting a submissive for no reason, If broke rules or was disobedient , then Id punish them appropriately, but All I seem be seeing is girls looking for dominants to beat and hurt them willingly. Something is very wrong, because beating a sub for no reason isnt what a true dominant should do. Any Advice? I been searching for ages and lack of good fortune starting to annoy me


Keep in mind within the BDSM lifestyle there are many forms. The latter 2 letters, SM are the sadists and masochists. That is where your question seems to stem from. Not everyone into the lifestyle are into the S&M portion. The key is to never judge anyone (and I am not saying your are, this is just more of a general statement) for what they may need or want, if its not for you that's perfectly fine, just look in other areas of the lifestyle for a suitable partner. Key is communication and even more so when talking this type of lifestyle. Communication and limits should be first and foremost in all relationships and never be afraid to state what your limits are as a Dominant or a submissive/slave/babygirl.

Everyone has different wants and needs and others may not understand them. This lifestyle is not or should not be about abuse or beating, and as you said its not what a true Dominant should do. Its not something any true human being should do, man, woman, Dominant or otherwise. You don't have to be mean and rough. If the only girls you are finding seem to lean towards the S&M lifestyle then my advice is to keep searching. Are you just looking for a submissive or are you looking for a relationship that builds on friendship and moves towards a D/s one? There are many questions you can ask yourself that may aid you in what you are ultimately seeking. Just be honest in who you are and what you want and expect the same in return. You might try going to a Munch in your area and meeting like minded people.

Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for.
Master_Jonathan
Active Ink Slinger
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I'd like to add My opinions to this thread...
First off, to 1LovelyKinkyKitsune; A Master is dominant but a Master is more than a Dom. A Dom is in the truest sense of the word, one who is dominant. But a Master has taken it to a whole other level. I have been a Dom most of my life. It was only after years of study and learning all I could on the subject that I became a Master.

Now as for the original post: As it has been said there are as many different styles and degrees of BDSM as there are participants. Some call themselves submissives, some call themselves slaves, some call themselves littles or babygirls or brats. On the other side you have Doms, Daddys, Sirs, and Masters. How two people interact is entirely up to them and there are no "wrong" ways to play. BDSM is like any other type of sex play - what works for you is all that matters. Some submissives enjoy things a little rougher just as some Doms enjoy a harder style as well.

The trick is to find a partner that shares your speed and style of play and who can walk with you - not pulling you along and not slowing you down. Once you have that, you will find the journey happy, beautiful, and rewarding.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
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Quote by MasterJonathan
I have been a Dom most of my life. It was only after years of study and learning all I could on the subject that I became a Master.


LOL what... did you go to master college, **Content removed by moderator. No name calling please.**?

Can someone please explain to me why someone needs to study like a huge nerd - for years - to learn something that should be an inherent trait because we are talking about sex here right?

I mean this dude studied - for years - to be a master...?

WHAT!?

Like studied what? Are there master textbooks n shit??? Like is there a master study group with quizzes n shit? Like is that an elective or can you minor in masterdom or what the hell? Can someone study - for years - to be a master and like fail? like, is there a head master to govern the study of masters and then they give out grades or what in the fuck? Can you get a BA in being a master or is it a BS as in bullshit of masterdom? Or do you like master in being a master. Like WHAT DO YOU STUDY TO BE A MASTER AND WHERE??????? Are some masters in student loan debt after studying - for years - to become a master? WHAT THE FUCK???



I'm sorry but this is just like one of the funniest things I have ever read.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by Magical_felix


LOL what... did you go to master college **Content removed by moderator. No name calling please.**?

Can someone please explain to me why someone needs to study like a huge nerd - for years - to learn something that should be an inherent trait because we are talking about sex here right?

I mean this dude studied - for years - to be a master...?

WHAT!?

Like studied what? Are there master textbooks n shit??? Like is there a master study group with quizzes n shit? Like is that an elective or can you minor in masterdom or what the hell? Can someone study - for years - to be a master and like fail? like, is there a head master to govern the study of masters and then they give out grades or what in the fuck? Can you get a BA in being a master or is it a BS as in bullshit of masterdom? Or do you like master in being a master. Like WHAT DO YOU STUDY TO BE A MASTER AND WHERE??????? Are some masters in student loan debt after studying - for years - to become a master? WHAT THE FUCK???



I'm sorry but this is just like one of the funniest things I have ever read.


i know there's a submissive course. i graduated Kittygirl Cum Louder just last year.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Guest
Lurker
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answer to OP.
Nothing is wrong. As in every relationship the same goes for Dom/sub one. You need to find person that suits you, just because you are in this lifestyle doesn't exclude that you actually have to find right person for you.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by trinket


Are you joking? So who is it that said something "stupid"? And in whose opinion is it stupid? We can't it's freely without ridicule? I'm not being a smartass I just want to make sure I understand what you just said.


oh I am sorry, you were actually referring your post to op?
and no, we cannot say or write things without being challenged for what we said, write or do. as everywhere same goes for internet, there is absolutely no action without reaction to it.
Guest
Lurker
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it is generalization.
however MF found something in JM post that he found silly, that's why laughing smiley. You found motherfucker resentful, I haven't, not because that is MF but because it is in the context of his post.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by trinket
So calling someone a motherfucker is ok as long as it is in the context of the rest of his post? C


hahaha, yes in a way.
in MF post you will find mocking and slang that goes with it and I don't have trouble with it. but that doesn't mean that someone isn't rational human being.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by trinket
.

Isn't that what you just said though?

Apologies to stevo again.

no. that could be you, sprite or whoever is in this thread.

I join with apologies to Stevo
Dani
Big-haired Bitch
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Couple of excerpts from the Forum Posting Guide:

Respect other users

Sometimes people can write something that you may find offensive. Before launching into a public condemnation though, please consider that the person may not have intended to cause offence. It is very easy to misinterpret a post on forums. There is absolutely no need to resort to insults. Respect others' views even if you disagree with them.


Personal disputes

Please do not use these forums for personal disputes, heated debates, flame wars etc. You are expected to treat each other with respect in the forums and take any personal disputes to a private mode of discussion off the forums. If you should find that your discussion is becoming too heated or someone is becoming far too passionate about their argument, please take the discussion to private message or email.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Buz
The Linebacker
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Unfortunately, the greatest Dom ever is no longer with us. Rest in peace Dom DeLuise...



I liked that movie, Dom and Dommer.

But it's really fun to get drunk on PBR and drive around in my pick up truck hitting domasses in the head with the beer bottes.

PS. Why was Fred Sanford always calling his son, Lamont, a 'big dommy?'



I hope y'all lighten up and have a great day everyone.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by Buz
Unfortunately, the greatest Dom ever is no longer with us. Rest in peace Dom DeLuise...



I liked that movie, Dom and Dommer.

But it's really fun to get drunk on PBR and drive around in my pick up truck hitting domasses in the head with the beer bottes.

PS. Why was Fred Sanford always calling his son, Lamont, a 'big dommy?'



I hope y'all lighten up and have a great day everyone.


Omg...This was a hilarious post!!!! Thanks Buz!
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
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Can anyone tell me where someone goes to study - for years - to be a master? Seriously, where and what does someone study for that long to officially call themselves a master?
Buz
The Linebacker
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Quote by Magical_felix
Can anyone tell me where someone goes to study - for years - to be a master? Seriously, where and what does someone study for that long to officially call themselves a master?


I took an online course that advertised in the back of my Mad Magazine Duck Dynasty issue. That issue is collectible by the way and I've stored it with my Made In China Elvis Presley porcelain figurines and autographed Brian Bosworth football.

– The Buz Master




Everyone needs a laugh every now and then, even doms.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
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Quote by trinket


That would be the School of Life Felix. Isn't everyone entitled to make their own life choices and live a lifestyle they want to live without mockery from others even though others might think it's stupid? It is their lives, Nobody else's. If you've got anymore to say to me felix please take it to private message.


Trinket please! Stop making this thread into a mockery. I am asking Master Jonathan to tell me about the school where he studied for years to be a Master. Please stop trying to turn this thread into the trinket show.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by trinket



Actually Jack, I'd love it if you could tell me about the school where you studied to be a complete **Content removed by moderator. No name calling please.** I think a lot of people would love to know that.




Please trinket, didn't you say few posts above that is going to be your last one? Beside none of your replays in this thread were OP related whatsoever. Send MF pm and ask him about mofo. (and all of your supporters - heck you can all sign one pm to save the trouble)
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
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Quote by trinket



Actually Jack, I'd love it if you could tell me about the school where you studied to be a complete **Content removed by moderator. No name calling please.** I think a lot of people would love to know that.




What's a MOFO?

Seriously trinket, this obsession you have with me isn't healthy.