Here is a little background:
Been married to my wife for 21 years, met in high school, to my knowledge we have only be with each other. I have no reason to believe others. It's been pretty normal as far as sex goes. Meeting vanilla; yes there is oral on both sides and she will only allow me to fuck her in her pussy, no anal. She really had been closed off to any experimenting, you almost say she was very prudish about sex.
So about a year ago she has told me during a game of truth or dare that we were playing that she had toyed with the idea of a threesome MFF. Nothing much on the topic since then other than snide comments from me about her having a gf. So within the last two weeks she really has started to heat things up out of no where.
She started giving me a blow job in the kitchen, when the kids were in the living room, we even fucked in the kitchen with the kids and her mom in the living room. She has given me a blowjob while I was driving and let me pull her shirt up in the car while we parked at a local college parking lot and let me lick on her tits. We have been talking kinky stuff while fucking about a woman joining us and recently suggested that she had a bf and he joined us and that while she was fucking him she was sucking me off and then we switched. She had her dildo out and was licking it while I fucked her and she brought it to my lips and pushed it in, it's just a dildo and it tasted good as she just had it in her pussy so I sucked on it. She got incredibly hot.
So as all this has happened she recently went to an adult toy party. This is all completely out of her character and I asked her why the sudden change and if she had been reading stuff or talking to someone. She said no that she just didn't want things to get stale and wanted me to keep thinking that "damn I'm lucky she is my wife".
So my question(s) are:
Does it sound like to you all that she is talking to someone else?
Do you think she possibly is seeing someone else which is why her sex drive and experimentation have increased?
And what do I make of her putting her dildo in my mouth and her excitement over that.
I'm not sure what to think, but I am enjoying her new found excitement and experimentation thought process. Thoughts?
Whatever is causing it, buckle up and enjoy the ride. Would you rather have a zombie? If you need to know the motivation, you'd better be prepared to either find something you may not like or to turn her off.
As a woman whose sex life was pretty bleak for a long time I would say that she could be doing all the things you spell out. I may be projecting my stuff onto her but I would suggest that she is probably learning from someone else. She seems to know now what men want in ways she didn't know before -- you tend to find that out from males themselves. Then, of course, there is an enormous release that comes from having more than one sexual partner
We can make all sorts of wild guesses, but you really need to talk to your wife. If you have to know why she is doing the things she's doing, that is. I'll suggest that people don't always have to know everything.
Sounds a bit odd to me... Making out in the kitchen with the family in the other room all of a sudden. Doesn't add up! Something is wrong (my opinion). It's one thing to go through a sexual awakening (I have been going through that the last 3-4 years). But it sounds like a bit of common sense is missing here. Also, I don't think she just woke up and said, "our relationship might get stale so I want to do all this stuff I have never done before." There has to be a turning point or something to initiate that change. For me, it was losing my first husband (death) and finding a new one that has been introducing me to all sorts of things I never thought of doing... including being here on Lush, for example.
The big question here is do you care what caused it? If you are happy with you new found wife and she still professes her love for you, like someone said, something you don't need or want to know. Her having an active affair is one thing but conversation with someone who changed her point of view... enjoy it! Even if she cheated, I thnk what you don't know does not hurt you. You can be too curious. Especially if it was a one time thing. I am digressing a bit I think but I believe that in many marriages, at one point or another, one or both of the parties cheats, either physically or in their heart. Then they feel guilty, as they should, and feel like they have to confess. Confession is only good for the guilty, just ask a good Catholic. So bottom line, enjoy you rnew wife until something happens that is in your face and you cannot live with. Hopefully that will never happen!
dont know is the answer but does sound weird she suddenly started all this you need to talk
Does it sound like to you all that she is talking to someone else?
.....Probably - she may have found a new girlfriend who is doing what she is doing. Who did she go to the toy party with?
Maybe its a test to see if YOU are interested in a three way. I can recommend them. I prefer FFM but never reject a MMF and that appears to be her aim. Be wary of sex parties they can get a bit dangerous unless you can enjoy watching her perform with many other men. Been there done that.... but no more.
Do you think she possibly is seeing someone else which is why her sex drive and experimentation have increased?
....Not necessarily - (see above) I know mine had its ups and downs but I haven't been married - or even enjoying sex for 21 years - yet.
As she says she doesn't want you to get stale - or does she think you are ? Doing it with the kids around is a bit dangerous - are they teenagers? Not sure even I would be doing that. Kinky though.
And what do I make of her putting her dildo in my mouth and her excitement over that.
...It happens when sex takes over - I know I do and have done many unusual/exciting things while sexually intoxicated. I have never needed the funny stuff to get me high either.
You never mentioned you performing oral on her - could that be a hint she wouldn't mind a bit of tongue where it counts.
Well things have suddenly shut down, can't explain it. Went from hot to almost ice cold. Maybe once a week or every two weeks. I just do not know what to make of this. She does have a lot of stress on her, so maybe that is the reason for the sudden drop off.
So an update.....things have pretty much returned to the once a week or every two weeks. So it seem as though the time in July 2014 was just something she was going through, whether that was with someone else or by talking to someone I do not know. What I do know it was fun and exciting but not sure what caused this behavior during that period because she has not been that way before or since that time. Thoughts??
I doubt she is cheating. It's much more likely that after 20+ years of marriage, she felt things in the bedroom were getting stale. She was probably trying to spice things up and keep it interesting. Perhaps she feels more comfortable with her sexual desires and wanted to express that with you. I think you should trust what she told you when you asked her about it. If you have made an accusation to her about cheating, even in a joking manner, that would explain why her newly found interest in sex has waned back down to what it was before. She probably feels as if you have shut her down and rejected her.
Many women hit their sexual peak between 30-40. Their libido increases and she will often become more open to experimenting, and want a lot more sex. It's sort of like a last hormonal hurrah before Menopause hits, which is how some women end up with surprise babies at 40.
Thanks AudriNichols, I would be guessing my fun days are in the rearview mirror.
Simple. Talk to her. Tell her you loved the sex experimentation. Is there something you can do to make it more fun? Communication.
We all have our emotional ups and downs. It helps to talk about them. Communication.
The number one problem in marriages and relationships is lack of communication.
She wanted to spice things up, she is missing what she felt when younger. Her attempts to do so with you may not have accomplished what she was after so she gave up.
Sure talking can help, actions can speak louder though. She told you and showed you, what she wanted.
What have you done to spice up your marriage, what do you do for her so that she feels sexy and wanted. You might want to think about doing something before that guy at work or across the road does it for her first.
She could have been having an affair and it ended and she realizes what she has.
Or maybe it is just as she says. Who knows.
I'd just enjoy it while it's happening.
Hugs,
Xo
OK, update time....
For a while it was back to normal routine sex as I previously posted. I have not come around to specifically talking to her about what happen last year and why the changes.
We now have come around to where she is opening back up again, we have watched some porn and have talked about going to a local strip club and/or adult theater. We have been a little more openly joking about each other having a boyfriend or girlfriend, nothing serious just one liners back and forth. Neither one denies anything we just play along jokingly. We definitely are having more open talk about sex, unfortunately most through texts and nothing face to face other than while between the sheets.
I guess, I need to just enjoy the moment and go with it. Its just been a roller coaster the last year or so, but I guess that's married life......right?
I had the same experience with my wife and it shut down just as suddenly. I can say that the next time I understand a woman will be my first. Enjoy and don't analyze.
Hello dude! I'm lucky I've found your post in here as I cross this site, I tell you not all your guesses are true because it is just a guess, right? What your wife's answers of all your questions sounds annoying to to you since you are not used to it but remember "the only thing that is constant in this world is CHANGE" even your face change moment by moment without noticing the change in that moment.
I felt that feeling few years back when I was not met my wife yet. I have a gf which 5 years ahead of me. I admit she is my first love though I am not her true love and we are not a destiny... We are like two years but haven't done any sex. I am a believer and a church goer though she is too but she urges to have sex that is why I frank her not to go into pre-marital sex since it is against God's will. Love waits and at right time. We are easy goer both but a sudden change come without expectations. She doesn't communicate me without knowing any reasons nothing at all. It was sad but I praise God when I came to know that she is a two or multiple timer, when I call her at home her elder brother told me she is not around and coming, then he ask if am I the guy who goes to their home last night and the other night, so sad but true... That's the story... "There's no constant thing in this world except CHANGE"... There is always change...
Nowadays, I am married and have a happy life with my beautiful caring and loving sweet wife, with a 2 year old wonderful sweet son...
P.S.: Remember, you can't really tell yourself to believe until you caught and find the reason to believe in. Keep going, I hope you wife doing fine and just learn to do more excitement thru porn but not a real man... Just observe and or try to invite her watch porn if she wants too then you can tell yourself she is telling the truth of experimenting things.
. I don't think anyone's sexuality is in a lock box. Everyone is changing. Exploring. Isn't that the basis of fantasy? The key as a couple is to recognize it in your partner.
