Hi All,
If you've got humorous poems to post, since they really don't fit in our categories Love Poems or Erotic Poems, please post them in this thread. I'm sure most of us would love to read them. I know I would.
Thanks,
Buz
Slide it deep,
moving it fast and
faster.
Working it hard and fast.
Into the tight hole and
it feels stuffed.
Breaking a sweat,
damn it is so stuffed and
so tight.
Working the snake in deep,
pushing it deeper,
pushing and moving it all around.
Wow! This is hard work.
Working it with both hands,
going fast and deep as I
try to rip it apart.
Make it drain and
making the fluids flow.
Oh! almost got it.
Oh yes!
I can feel it.
It is done,
Breathing deep
and I am tired.
Wow, that was worth it,
having it flowing.
I am glad that the snake
unplugged the pipe
and have the sewer pipe flowing.
Now I can flush the damn toilet.
Based on a true story but slightly adapted
Hairy nippled woman
She was keen
She was eager
And I was willing to please her
But an issue arose pretty quick
I was hard
I was throbbing
And her hands were not stopping
And was likely to be coming quite quick
I was suckling
I was kissing
And her clothes were soon missing
And by the moonlight I glanced over her body
She sighed
She cried
She placed me inside
But as soon as I started I felt something stop me
her thigh
her sigh
You might wonder why
I found myself struggling to continue
"Hard" she insisted
"Fast" I resisted
"Damn why can't I come in you?"
Hair
Right there
In abundance to share
Around her nipples was a dark wreath
I'd sucked
And plucked
And now as we fucked
I had nipple hair caught in my teeth
My pause
This cause
She'd noticed for sure
And I struggled to regain momentum
"The hair,
"Right there"
She was well aware
As she reached for my softened erection
"Your mouth"
She pushed south
And I slow licked her out
And she pushed my face deep in her pussy
The hair
Down there
I just didn't care
And her juices were soon flowing on me
"This hair,
"Right there"
She gasped in the air
"It's not something I can resolve"
"So get over your issue
Or come in a tissue
But I'd rather you re filled my hole"
So wide
Back inside
She stared up with pride
And I stroked the hair round her breast
Slide deep
Springs squeak
I soon couldn't speak
My hand was full of her chest curled nest
Faster
With laughter
And coming soon after
We gasped into each other's faces
And the hair
Round there
I just didn't care
We all have hair in odd places
She stroked
She coaxed
And hardly she spoke
As she straddled and lit a candle
Flickering
Lightening
Her cunt lips fast tightening
She rode for as long as I could handle
Commanding
Demanding
Fucking great one night standing
It was odd but it was one of the best
Sun rose
No clothes
And don't you suppose
We fucked again before breakfast and showers
The hair
Round there
I no longer cared
And now I plait it and we fuck for hours
Delirious from lack of sleep
I wrote a rhyme within a week
Okay within a day, okay the last half an hour
In tune to a jingle about a McBurgerFC tower
I shooed away that dratted cat
With a throw of my baseball cap
I never supported the dratted game
Why am I rhyming this poem again?
Oh general laziness, I suspect
Or maybe to throw in a fuck or a feck
I'm running out of reason and rhymes
So arrivederci, good night,good times
