Title: Being Amorous
So, here's the thing about love...at least the way I love.
I love **unconditionally...** literally.
It doesn't mean I am unsafe with my love. It just means the people I choose to have some form of relationship with, are honest and trustworthy about the intent of the type of relationship we've negotiated. It doesn't mean that once we've negotiated what type of relationship is suitable for the both of us...never changes.
**People are always changing,** always evolving and the way that they tend to love changes as well. I am one, that is okay with it...because **I change too.**
If you want to be free and fly away, go ahead. I will not stop you. I will still love you, but the time we have shared together has ended for you. All the yummy soaked up ravishment I was able to give you, you do not need anymore and I am 100% okay with that. You know why? Because in some way at one time my love and what you were searching for...I was able to give you.
You could say I am addicted to intimacy. To sharing those really vulnerable moments with someone and reveling in the feeling of safe spaces.
For a long time I have struggled to identify with relationship pathways because I didn't fit. I am a very square peg trying to fit in a very round hole. It just isn't going to happen, so I am going to make a really comfy blanket fort and hopefully the right people will want to join my club.
I love differently then most because love comes in many different ways.
I could love you passionately...with a fire in my belly to devour you and sate both of our needs.
I could love gently, where all your worries fade away into kisses and hidden touches.
I could love you and never have to sleep with you, but my love would be just as fierce and loyal.
I could love you in a way, where I just want all your dreams and happiness to come true because you deserve it!
I could love you and feel compelled to protect you from all your demons until you realize how utterly, truly amazing you are...
Or I could love you and we could just be quiet together, not needing to say a word and knowing that whenever you need someone to sit with, I'll be there.
My point is, there are a **million ways to love someone** and meet each others needs. If I love you, I want to do my best not only to meet my own needs, but yours as well.
As wonderful as this all sounds some people are just not as honest as they think they were in the beginning and it sucks for everyone involved. Now, in my own perfect little world we would all be free to feel safe and be able to love without fear. But, life is a whole lot more complicated then that. With having a heart that only expands and doesn't close up...I have learned to be careful with my love. Not everybody wants a piece of my pie and it has taken a long time to figure that out. I thought everybody liked pie, I thought I had so many flavors that I could satisfy everybody and put them into a blissful food coma till the end of days...
Turns out people are not always honest in what they want, whether it is the beginning of taking that first bite, or they're slice of pie is almost finished and they realized they ate to much. **The intent of the relationship with someone is just as important** then anything else. It is the fork to the pie...
If your **intent changes,** that's ok...just let me know and if we need to renegotiate on how I can love you and how you can love me... that's okay, as long as I am **kept in the know.**
For me, since my love is all consuming, it doesn't matter what my partner chooses in a relationship pathway. If they wanted to take it in a poly way, we could do that. If they wanted to take it in a open relationship type way, we could also do that. It doesn't matter as long as we **communicate on a constant basis.**
How am I going to know what you need if you don't tell me? How are you going to know what I need if I don't tell you? We don't. Neither of us are mind readers and contrary to popular belief that's actually healthy.
I rather talk to you or be able to come and talk to you rather then guessing and getting myself in trouble. Why get into a fight where feelings get hurt because no one talks to each other? It doesn't make sense right? But, people do it all the time to each other.
I know that talking about communication is the last thing that anyone wants to read because so many people in bdsm have already shoved it down your throats as far as it could go!!! Believe me, there is a reason for that! If you want your journey in bdsm to be a healthy one, then communicate with every single partner or potential partner you may come across!
It saves so much ridiculous amounts of heart ache.
I have never been the jealous type. I think jealousy, stems from not being honest about your own wants in a relationship on both parts.
The one who is getting cheated on, has not voiced their opinion on what is okay in the relationship and what isn't in the relationship to make them feel safe.
The one who is cheating has not voiced there needs on how they would like to be treated as well.
Its mis-communication at its worst.
If I am not giving my lovers what they need, they will find it elsewhere. If they want to be with someone else, they will be. If they still want to be with me and add another, I am ok with that. All it means, is that we just have to renegotiate what our relationship means to each other when something changes.
For me, **being in love with someone does not mean I need to have sex with them.** Nor, do they have to have sex with me. I still love them, I still want to spend time with them and I will still treat them in whatever way they want to be treated in the type of relationship we may have. **It doesn't mean my love is less.** It just means that even if the desire is there, I respect my partner and can love them in a million different ways then just a purely a sexual way. My needs will still be met...because I know in there own way they still love me and that is still valid. in my heart of hearts, I am still safe in that relationship. Our moments don't have any less value just because sex isn't involved. Intimacy in our relationship has just taken a different form that is still cherished just as much as physical contact.
In saying all that, it doesn't mean I am on the constant look out for new partners. It just means for me, if love comes my way and I am in a place to accept it, it wont necessarily be ignored.
Love comes in many forms as well. so it doesn't matter to me what gender you identify with or what orientation you feel bests suites you.
**I fall in love with the soul, the mind and the heart. Not the thing that's carrying it all around.**
All people want to do is **feel loved and be loved in return.** I try my best to live that out daily. Just as much as I love...loving people. I want to be loved too, with honesty about the intent , trust in intimacy, respect for each other and constant communication. I want my love to be cherished and honored just as much as everyone else and I try my best with the people I hold dear to my heart and expect the same in return...
So, lets try to make this a little easier, ok?
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