Ladys do you lie or give the silent treatment etc. etc. to your friends or lover if they say or done something wrong?
Hmm.... yeah, I've done the silent treatment sometimes - for short durations. It's not really because I'm trying to punish the person or teach them a lesson - it's usually because I'm so pissed off that communicating right at that moment would not be a good thing. I'm actually pretty conflict-averse so when my emotions are running high, I tend to just shut them down until I can process and deal with it and feel ready to talk it out.
Way back when my wife was just my girlfriend, she'd sometimes get mad and give me the silent treatment - maybe even for days. Eventually I'd just get my stuff, leave and tell her she could call me when she wants to talk to me or I was sure some other girl would calling me. She'd usually say something then, though it might not be nice. But at least it ended the silent treatment.
I really hate getting the silent treatment. It actually would make me build up anger of my own, especially when I didn't know why. So when we got engaged I told her the silent treatment wasn't acceptable and I wouldn't take it. So if she gets mad now, she tells me right away.
She's never been one to lie to me about not being mad.
My biggest weakness is my mouth. Not that I go off immediately or without control. Generally, even when I rant or am real angry, I'm pretty controlled.
I'm told that the larger the words I use, the angrier I am.
It's just that I come from a strong line of communicators, and I'm going to pretty much tell you how I feel or what I want. Then I'm through. What you do with it is up to you. You really don't want me to keep it in and over think it. I don' want to do that to myself. But, it is a skill that I had to grow into in relationships. Like Buz had to make it clear that they just were not going to have that type of relationship. At first I just wanted to be loved. I learned the value of self love. So it doesn't allow me to weigh myself down with anger. Actually, if I don't say anything to you and dismiss you without any discussion, that means I don't care. I don't care about it or you. You can pretty much hang it up. I'm not going to have anything else to do with you. I may smile your way, but it's not because I'm thinking about you. You have truly been dismissed.
I don't play games and I have little patience with manipulative people. I'll dismiss you for just that. That's what I love about my guy. He's just straight up, no chaser.
He may not volunteer his anger, but if I ask him he's going to give me an honest answer. It brings new meaning to: "If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question." So I also have had to learn when to shut up.
Sometimes silence is bliss, not because you are lying about how you feel but because it's best to leave that alone.
Can stand sulking. Yell, scream or cry then sit down with a coffee or tea and talk it out or just move on to happier thoughts. Life's to short for mind games
When you say 'lie', do you mean... "Beth, are you mad about something?" or "Beth, what's wrong?" ...and I give a cold, icy glare, and say "NOTHING!" ...then yes, I've been known to prevaricate.
Silent treatment? Welllll... its like this: I'm just giving you time to see the error of your ways, rethink your life, and decide whether you want me IN it any longer! I'm part Scots and part Cherokee, two of the worst-tempered ethnicities around! As teenagers, my twin and I fought so bitterly and fiercely that we've never forgiven each other and have been estranged for 20 years! So... the moral of the story? Don't piss me off!
Now, the good news! After 2 years of therapy 15 years ago, it takes a LOT to piss me off. I've learned to substitute withering sarcasm for emotional outbursts, and like Reggie, if you're someone I don't really care that much about, you'll simply be dismissed summarily.
Wait... So girls purposely stay quiet? I thought they could only talk once a month or so. Like a talking period.
Shit.
I don't lie if something has upset me. I have given the silent treatment as you don't want me to say what's on my mind immediately after you have pissed me off. I go for the jugular and tend to not fight fair. Therefore, I need to filter my words and process my thoughts before anyone,including a longtime relationship or friendship, gets hurt. You can't take back words and it's not nice to be cut so deeply with them. I have been on the receiving end of this and it made me want to think thrice prior to opening this big ol mouth of mine.
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Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.
F. Scott Fitzgerald