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Ruin a date in 5 words

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Active Ink Slinger
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Drop dead in a drum !
Lurker
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You get in to a car accident(your fault-being stupid) driving to dinner
Lurker
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Are you done talking yet?
Lurker
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Do you brush your teeth?
Active Ink Slinger
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My hemorrhoid is acting up.
There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.
— Audrey Hepburn

Active Ink Slinger
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"WOW, did you see her tits?!"
Active Ink Slinger
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My mother just called, sorry
Lurker
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My mother wanna drink vodka.
Active Ink Slinger
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Didn't I fuck your sister?
Lurker
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My ex is a mobster.
Classified
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Are you really STD clear?
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Classified
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Will I hear an echo?
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Classified
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Have you trodden in something?
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Classified
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You should try using makeup.
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Classified
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Women shouldn't have a mustache.
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Classified
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Are those your Mums clothes?
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Prolific Writer
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I want more kids okay?
Lurker
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Still getting over my Ex
Active Ink Slinger
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My Husband Just Walked In
Active Ink Slinger
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Oh shit, I'm your father!
Active Ink Slinger
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I brought my doll collection...
Active Ink Slinger
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Can my mom chaperone?, please?